Any tips on how to just "let go" of my previous trip body image jitters

This will be our third trip to Hedo and by now you would think that I, the female, would be OK with my body image. In reality I know " Ken and Barbie" are not the norm at Hedo but for the life of me I can not seem to let go and just enjoy the hedo experience without worrying about how I look to others. I am 42 years old with a loving husband of 19 years who adores my naked Hedo body and we are in the lifestyle . I am told that I have to stop over thinking and enjoy and stop worrying. Please please any tips out there on how to overcome the pre trip body image jitters (without the use of excessive amounts of alcohol or recreational drugs as we are not into that)???! Anyone with the same worries as myself? We are at Hedo Jan 19th to 27th. Thanks for listening!

We all go through it luv xoxoxoxo

I don't know... but if you do get a solution... please spread it around!

I think we all know women with body image problems... and some men with the same issues. As much as some people say that they don't care what people think, they're often putting on a brave face for others (because they care if people think they care about what people think). I found myself shopping for a Bowflex Trainer after I returned from our maiden Hedo trip last year because I'd like to improve my physique (for reference, I didn't buy it and still have the dad body I had last year).

Getting hit on and beautiful women giving me the time of day, helped me... and I think back to those nights when my confidence waivers.

The only thing you can be sure of, is that worrying about it won't help you. People will think what they think. Hedo is one of the most accepting places on earth and at least you'll find few people who are judgmental when you're at your most vulnerable.

We both wish we looked like we did when we were 25.....but a couple decades does change you a bit...lol

For us, we try to eat healthy, go to the gym when we can (we are not gym rats) and enjoy life. Are we perfect, no...side note she is in my eyes...but, who cares. We have a little too much fat, scars, hair growing places we never though possible, faded tattoos not in as good shape as we would dream of, etc. In our opinion this is life....and life is what it is all about...enjoy it...corny saying but it is true...Everybody dies, but not everybody truly lives...

Do not worry about the way you look, you are what you are, Hedo is part of truly living...letting yourself be out there and just having fun. Who cares what others think...you and your spouse is all that matters and if you are happy, you are good.

We have good friends that went to a resort in Negril with a few other couples. One day they took a boat trip and they cruised past hedo. They came back with stories....I heard that there were a bunch of old fat people running around nude with lots of people on floats and 3 deep at the bar. They thought that would be a horrible vacation and were shocked that people did that....they then complained that their vacation was ok, but boring. The bars close at 10 at their resort, everybody seemed to read books all day, you had to dress up each night for dinner and besides the 3 couples that went with them, they had limited interaction with other guests...could not even get a volley ball game started...the drinks were weak, etc.

Do not worry about it...Enjoy you trip, have fun and love life!

toohorny nailed it...

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Originally Posted by toohorny

We both wish we looked like we did when we were 25.....but a couple decades does change you a bit...lol

For us, we try to eat healthy, go to the gym when we can (we are not gym rats) and enjoy life. Are we perfect, no...side note she is in my eyes...but, who cares. We have a little too much fat, scars, hair growing places we never though possible, faded tattoos not in as good shape as we would dream of, etc. In our opinion this is life....and life is what it is all about...enjoy it...corny saying but it is true...Everybody dies, but not everybody truly lives...

Do not worry about the way you look, you are what you are, Hedo is part of truly living...letting yourself be out there and just having fun. Who cares what others think...you and your spouse is all that matters and if you are happy, you are good.

We have good friends that went to a resort in Negril with a few other couples. One day they took a boat trip and they cruised past hedo. They came back with stories....I heard that there were a bunch of old fat people running around nude with lots of people on floats and 3 deep at the bar. They thought that would be a horrible vacation and were shocked that people did that....they then complained that their vacation was ok, but boring. The bars close at 10 at their resort, everybody seemed to read books all day, you had to dress up each night for dinner and besides the 3 couples that went with them, they had limited interaction with other guests...could not even get a volley ball game started...the drinks were weak, etc.

Do not worry about it...Enjoy you trip, have fun and love life!

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Being self-conscious is something we all go through. Men and woman alike. The truth of the matter is we almost always critique ourselves much harsher than those around us. If it makes you feel better my wife and I have been to Hedo three times now and Desire twice. Now my wife is drop dead gorgeous which doesnt help my insecurities any, but on this last trip to Hedo a beautifull much younger woman approached me and started chatting away. We had a great conversation and she even got a little handsy with me (which i loved, who wouldnt). But when she walked away i turned to my wife and said "her husband must really want to get with you". My wife said in response that maybe this girl just wanted to get with you did you even think of that. To this day even after multiple trips i still look in the mirror and wonder what anyone would see in this...lol. Someday i hope to be over it and just relax but i certainly feel your pain. Just remember we never see oursleves the way others do. All we see is the flaws and imperfections. Truly genuine people will see the personality and if it comes with an amazing body well thats just a plus!
Be the kind fun person im sure you are and rest assured that others are just looking at the best parts of your body!

Well, before we comment we are going to need several pictures both clothed and nude to help generate a plan that best fits you....

Hehe.

There is no secret remedy for this. You just do it. I get more jitters for just being there, not necessarily being naked, but the excitement jitters, so that kind of overtakes my body image jitters. :)

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Originally Posted by Ridncouple

Well, before we comment we are going to need several pictures both clothed and nude to help generate a plan that best fits you....

Hehe.

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I like the way you think.... I second that motion......lol....

I had the gitters the first couple of trips.... So much so I would wrap myself in a towel to go to the bathroom... Now, I strut my stuff and I'm proud of it... It took me awhile to realize, that being sexy didn't mean I had to look like "Barbie" it means being confident and comfortable with yourself... To heck with anyone else...

People at Hedo aren't looking at people's sizes they are looking at that nice smile, the colour of your eyes, and nice personality people have...

We struggled with the same feelings on our past trips to Hedo and Desire, and likely will again on our next trip. But interestingly, those insecure feelings went away soon after we joined in the festivities at the nude pool. We struck up conversations quickly and had a great time with folks of all ages and shapes. I think the fact that people are so personable at Hedo, no matter what, actually gets rid of the insecurity better than anything else. We figured that people get along better at Hedo because there are no barriers. You hang it all out (quite literally) and cannot hide behind fancy clothes, etc. You are yourself, and when you make friends at Hedo, you realize that they genuinely like you for who you are, not what they perceive about you based on cars, clothes, money, etc. It's not the body that people focus on so much as the perceptions about you. (although, checking out nekkid bodies is a wonderful past-time!) Remove those other things, and all that's left is you. What a comfort that was for us. After that, it was PARTY ON!

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Originally Posted by Ontario

I had the gitters the first couple of trips.... So much so I would wrap myself in a towel to go to the bathroom... Now, I strut my stuff and I'm proud of it... It took me awhile to realize, that being sexy didn't mean I had to look like "Barbie" it means being confident and comfortable with yourself... To heck with anyone else...

People at Hedo aren't looking at people's sizes they are looking at that nice smile, the colour of your eyes, and nice personality people have...

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I second the quote about the smile,eyes,and personality.It's what matters more than anything.Being a great conversationalist at Hedo is GOLDEN......

Thank you thank you for all your replies and words of wisdom ....I truly appreciate other people's perspective and really I had no idea so many people are like me including men! Now you have asked for pictures I think I may be brave enough to post some on here....when I see my own pictures I see every imperfection from mummy tummy to the large varicose veins on my legs. When I get to Hedo it takes 3 days to pluck courage up to just talk....I hide behind a good book so no one is looking at me lol. When I get in the nude pool it feels like high school....do I dare break into a circle of people talking???? I know they don't know me but my unreasonableft side of my brain is yelling watch out for " clicks" they won'the like you and the small brave part of my brain is saying push in with those 40DDDs and say Hi! I wish you guys were going the same time as us as I would love to have a chat and drink ....I have been told to do body shots and that I could probably hold two shots in my boobs lol...I have never ever done that before! Again many thanks for taking the time to reply. ����

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Originally Posted by jchotcouple

Thank you thank you for all your replies and words of wisdom ....I truly appreciate other people's perspective and really I had no idea so many people are like me including men! Now you have asked for pictures I think I may be brave enough to post some on here....when I see my own pictures I see every imperfection from mummy tummy to the large varicose veins on my legs. When I get to Hedo it takes 3 days to pluck courage up to just talk....I hide behind a good book so no one is looking at me lol. When I get in the nude pool it feels like high school....do I dare break into a circle of people talking???? I know they don't know me but my unreasonableft side of my brain is yelling watch out for " clicks" they won'the like you and the small brave part of my brain is saying push in with those 40DDDs and say Hi! I wish you guys were going the same time as us as I would love to have a chat and drink ....I have been told to do body shots and that I could probably hold two shots in my boobs lol...I have never ever done that before! Again many thanks for taking the time to reply. ����

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Most of the "cliks" we have encountered at Hedo would likely just LOVE to meet your Smilin' 40DDD's,just sayin'!So don't be shy.
If you encounter the "cold shoulder" from any little group,just move along as there's lots of nice people looking for someone to socialize with.......

By all means, please push in! A great story of ours: wife and I were hanging out in the nude pool in a "circle" of new friends. Apparently, a lady from across the pool noticed that my wife's chest was getting a bit sunburned. She made her way over to us in a hurry, shouting something like "emergency!" and brought with her a bottle of sun screen. She proceeded to, without any notice, squirt it on my wife's chest and rubbed it all in - very hot. And what an ice-breaker! We all had a great laugh at it. So, there really are no barriers at Hedo. Just push in.

distractions work - actually doing _something_ other than 'just being nude' seems to work- @ H3, the pool volleyball games were awesome for people focusing on playing, and not worrying about / focusing on being nude. snorkeling, paddle ball, frisbee, anything of that nature.

One thing that also works for us is we are both fitness oriented. My wife works out like a crazy lady, and I run, lots. And while neither of us are anything close to Ken and Barbie, we DO put lots of time and effort into staying healthy and fit. This helps us psychologically when we want to show off a bit and we're NOT the fittest, hot model couple seen in all the advertising brochures, web site or social media. We know we've put in the work...and well, we are proud of it...and if we're proud???? Well that's what matters most.

Practice, practice, practice!! We had to ease into the nude vacation thing, and it took us awhile, but the more we do it, the more we can't wait until the next trip.

My old and awful body type does not really bother me because once I get to Hedo I realize I am in fact Invisible.We are together and everyone is looking at Her,not me.Meanwhile I get to enjoy lots of beautiful scenery and meet lots of beautiful smiling people.
It's an awesome thing!

We are all programmed to worry about what others may think of us. We don't want to set ourselves up for humiliation. Every magazine ad is telling us that we are not good enough unless we use their product. What is the worst that can happen if you are not up to somebody else's standards of beauty? Will they gossip? Will they point? Maybe, but if they do, that is their problem. I have never seen anybody ostracized at H2 over body image. The sexiest people at H2 are not the Barby and Kens. I find H2 to be therapeutic for that reason. Everyone is beautiful there depending on their attitude.

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Originally Posted by clary1

We are all programmed to worry about what others may think of us. We don't want to set ourselves up for humiliation. Every magazine ad is telling us that we are not good enough unless we use their product. What is the worst that can happen if you are not up to somebody else's standards of beauty? Will they gossip? Will they point? Maybe, but if they do, that is their problem. I have never seen anybody ostracized at H2 over body image. The sexiest people at H2 are not the Barby and Kens. I find H2 to be therapeutic for that reason. Everyone is beautiful there depending on their attitude.

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Totally agree with this post, even Hedo puts out ads with the Barbie and Ken models, which in fact is far from the truth. We have found in our experience that the age range is anywhere from 21—77, weight range 100—400 lbs, height range 4' 8"—6' 8", every conceivable operation scar and even amputations…and as many body types as there are stars in the sky. The outer package is irrelevant, what really matters is the hidden gem that may be inside. :rockon:

The people I remember and think about the most are Always the ones with the outstanding personalities.Oh,and they are always female,because,let's not forget this,Hedo really is all about the ladies.The guys are just there to haul their bags and fetch drinks and such for the most part.I can see why the ladies think Hedo is basically a beauty pageant of sorts,but trust me on this,it really isn't.Nobody is going to judge you in a negative way for your looks but you will be better accepted if you're positive and friendly or at least not rude or demanding.

Two words ....F@ck it ........as easy as that ...took me and my wife 2 full days ( wasted days ) before we conquered our fear day thee we said F@ck it and our holiday at Hedo started can't wait to return

Rum punch and Bob Marley works well................................

We all struggle with the same thoughts and self doubts. The best thing for my self esteem was sucking it up, dropping trow and jumping in the nude pool. Very quickly I learned a few fun Hedo facts:
1 - no one is looking at the guys (may not help you, was very helpful for me)
2 - without clothes, accessories, excess makeup and hair products (some folks are still pretty done up, but it is a pool after all) people actually look a lot more alike than you think.
3 - the majority of folks there all feel the same way, a little nervous at first and very accepting of others. People will help you overcome your fears, with compliments, shots, friendly introductions, shots and just generally being nice. It really is the best place in the world.
Everything you are worrying about seems pretty normal but is completely unnecessary. There is a reason we all say, "once you go you'll know."
Enjoy every minute of your trip because waiting for the next one sucks.

PS - Is it March yet? I have DIF and want to go back

I don't know if this would help with pre-gitters, but I have a suggestion for when you get there...

It's true that many people are nervous their first time, or even their first day of every visit. Make an effort to spot someone who may look nervous and go talk to them. The act of helping someone with their gitters will likely distract you from yours. By focusing on someone else and being helpful, you will exude confidence and thoughtfulness... which most of us find sexy (regardless of body type).

Personality is more important than looks... but that only helps if you have a good personality ;)

Yes I agree! We set ourselves up thinking we will be humiliated knowing full well that is not the case ....sigh.....I hate media and magazines and even the hedo website makes us women feel bad against the "professional photos" they have. Thanks for your words of encouragement!

I agree with what you say that working out does make you feel better about yourself. Now I am not a sporty body type and yes overweight but I do use my elliptical and exercise bike 4 times a week but afterwards I feel good. Thanks for your words of encouragement!

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Originally Posted by jchotcouple

Yes I agree! We set ourselves up thinking we will be humiliated knowing full well that is not the case ....sigh.....I hate media and magazines and even the hedo website makes us women feel bad against the "professional photos" they have.

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I think the professional photos are to combat that 'old saying' - "I went to a nude beach where I wished people weren't nude".
To me that always struck me as aristocratic "I wish to be amused/pleased - show me pleasant looking people" - which isn't the point of Hedo at all.

When I was hesitant before my first trip, over a decade ago, someone said something to the effect that Hedo folks are really a cross section - think of any day at a Target store - there are thin attractive folks, and there are larger less 'traditionally' attractive folks, but all are friendly and are a pleasure to hang out with, and pretty consistently NOT turning their noses up at anyone.

Danny Boy you aren't the only guy who feels like he's swinging above his weight class (haha) a lot of the time. These days, we just get naked as soon as we possibly can and hit the pool. After a drink and 20 minutes, we've usually made some friends and we're good for the rest of the trip.

Oh, and Nat thinks you are an attractive guy, so put that in the bank ;-)

-R

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Originally Posted by Danny Boy

Being self-conscious is something we all go through. Men and woman alike. The truth of the matter is we almost always critique ourselves much harsher than those around us. If it makes you feel better my wife and I have been to Hedo three times now and Desire twice. Now my wife is drop dead gorgeous which doesnt help my insecurities any, but on this last trip to Hedo a beautifull much younger woman approached me and started chatting away. We had a great conversation and she even got a little handsy with me (which i loved, who wouldnt). But when she walked away i turned to my wife and said "her husband must really want to get with you". My wife said in response that maybe this girl just wanted to get with you did you even think of that. To this day even after multiple trips i still look in the mirror and wonder what anyone would see in this...lol. Someday i hope to be over it and just relax but i certainly feel your pain. Just remember we never see oursleves the way others do. All we see is the flaws and imperfections. Truly genuine people will see the personality and if it comes with an amazing body well thats just a plus!
Be the kind fun person im sure you are and rest assured that others are just looking at the best parts of your body!

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