Forget the feeling of regular Mondays with a little humor. Monday's Sex jokes!

We all know that Mondays are the worst and the most boring day of the week, It's the day where you have more work, you have a meeting or you are about to do your the check out of our Resort (or maybe, you are already waiting for your flight at Cancun's Airport), that's why we want to help you to take out that awful feeling, and we decided to create this thread.

A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,
"Error. Not long enough."

Visit our website to know how are our Mondays at Temptation with "The Brazilian Night"
Believe us, is the best way to spend a the first day of the week.
Temptation Resort & Spa

Here's today's joke.

The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
"Of course, my son," said the priest.
"Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
"It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
"Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest.
The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".

Visit our website to know how are our Mondays at Temptation with "The Brazilian Night"
Believe us, is the best way to spend a the first day of the week.
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Hi everyone, we want to know your opinion about this little joke.


Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
A: Call her and tell her.

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Here's today's joke.



What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

What is not a joke, is our special deal
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Here's today's joke!



A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches an attractive lady sitting by herself and asks "May I buy you a drink?"
"No, thank you", she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."
"Oh, sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
"No, they spread."

Happy monday and we wish you to have a great week.
If you are coming to Temptation click here to see our schedule for this week.

Take off that boring face, and smile, you almost come to Temptation to watch the World Cup 2014


The teacher asked Jimmy,
"Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
Jimmy replied crying,
"Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"

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Here's a philosophical thought...


Three people having sex is a threesome.
Two people doing it is called a twosome.
So why is "handsome" a compliment?

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Stay tuned of our publish and don't miss the opportunity of save some money for you next visit.

What do you think of this one?

A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the
sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or
bronze.

"Silver," she said.

"Why not gold?"

"Because I want you to come second for once!"

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Don't waste more time, book here and get
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Here's the joke of this week, we hope you like it.

A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary:
- Darling, have you been unfaithful to me?
- Yes, honey, three times.
- When was the first time?
- Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you.
- Thanks, darling. And when was the second time?
- Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you?
- Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time?
- Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?

Have you been unfaithful? If has been, why and how many times?

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Here's an adult joke, to realize today's tension.


A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.
"Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says.
"I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
"Where do you think you going?" the wife asks.
"I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"

You still have time to come to the Temptation with our world cup promotion.
Book now and get 45% off.

Ladies, what do you think about this little joke.



Why do women close their eyes during sex?
They can't stand to see a man having a good time.

Come to Temptation Resort & Spa and have a good time with our activities.

No more boring mondays!


“A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning,
"I need a man, I need a man!"
Over the next several months, he saw her doing this often. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning differently.
When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, and started stroking himself, moaning,
"I need a bike! I need a bike!”

You don't need to moan to get the best deal for the Oktoberfest
you just have to click here to get 40% off

http://dsr.re/d1wLet's have some humor for the start of the week.

A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"

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Here's some humor to start this week.



Why did the snowman smile?
"Because the snowblower is coming."

In just a few days we'll be having the wildest party of all the Cancun, don't miss the opportunity of be part of it.
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if you appreciate the existence of this forum, book through the links provided here as a way to thank the owner and support the existence of it.

Here's a question for all the girls of the forum

Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
A: Because their plugged into a genius!

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if you appreciate the existence of this forum, book through the links provided here as a way to thank the owner and support the existence of it.

Here's today's joke.

Name?
Abdul Aziz.
Sex?
Three to five times a day.
No, no...I mean male or female?
Yes, male, female, sometimes camel.
Holy cow!
Yes, cow, sheep, animals in general.
But isn't that hostile?
Horse style, doggy style, any style!
Oh dear!
No, no! Deer run too fast...

Remember, you're welcome to share jokes and funny stories with us.

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Temptation Resort & Spa Cancun

Can you guess of what I'm talking about?


Arnold Schwarzenegger has a big one, Michael J. Fox has a small one, Madonna doesn't have one, The Pope has one but doesn't use it, Dominique Strauss-Khan uses his all the time.
What is it?
A last name!
And shame on you for thinking it was something else.

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Don't waste to much time and book now.

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Here's a little question...



Q: Why don't rabbits make noise when they have sex?
A: They have cotton balls.

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Tell us what you think about this little joke.

A Captain in the foreign legion was transfered to a desert outpost.
On his orientation tour he noticed a very old, seedy looking camel tied out back of the enlisted mens barracks.
He asked the Sargent leading the tour, "What's the camel for?".
The Sargent replied "Well sir it's a long way from anywhere, and the men have natural sexual urges, so when they do, uh, we have the camel."
The captain said "Well if it's good for moral, then I guess it's all right with me."
After he had been at the fort for about 6 months the captain could not stand it any more so he told his Sargent, "BRING IN THE CAMEL!!!"
The sarge shrugged his shoulders and led the camel into the captains quarters.
The captain got a foot stool & proceeded to have vigorous sex with the camel. As he stepped, satisfied, down from the stool, and was buttoning his pants he asked the Sargent, "Is that how the enlisted men do it?"
The Sargent replied,
"Well sir, they usually just use it to ride into town."

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Temptation

Here's today's joke!


What's the difference between sin and shame?
It is a sin to put it in, but it's a shame to pull it out.

We are a few weeks away of the best wildest in Cancun, don't miss the opportunity and be part of the Oktoberfest at Temptation
with this special promo.

Be careful, when you bake a cake!

A little boy caught his mom and dad having sex. After, he asked, "What were you and daddy doing?"
The mom said, "We were baking a cake."
A few days later, the little boy asked his mom, "Were you and daddy baking a cake?"
She said yes, and asked him how he knew.
He answered, "Because I licked the frosting off the couch."

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Be careful with the birthday surprises!

Why did I get divorced? Well, last week was my birthday.
My wife didn't wish me a happy birthday. My parents forgot and so did my kids.
I went to work and even my colleagues didn't wish me a happy birthday.
As I entered my office, my secretary said, "Happy birthday, boss!" I felt so special.
She asked me out for lunch. After lunch, she invited me to her apartment.
We went there and she said, "Do you mind if I go into the bedroom for a minute?" "Okay," I said.
She came out 5 minutes later with a birthday cake, my wife, my parents, my kids, my friends, & my colleagues all yelling, "SURPRISE!!!"
while I was waiting on the sofa... naked.

The promo for the Oktoberfest is about to end,
don't miss the opportunity and click here to same money!

Here's why your next vacation at Temptation Resort are very important


Why is fresh air a lot like sex?
Because it’s no big deal unless you’re not getting any.

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Talking about marriage...

A man says to his wife, ‘You know what, two inches more and I’d be king.’
She replied, ‘Two inches less and you’d be queen.’

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Click here for booking

if you appreciate the existence of this forum, book through the links provided here as a way to thank the owner and support the existence of it.

Here's why sometimes the small parties are the best ones ;)


Q: Whats 72?
A: 69 with three people watching

But the real joke is that you are reading this instead of being at the OKTOBERFEST party at Temptation Resort & Spa.
You still have the chance with this special promo!

This joke was sent it by a follower.

Whats the difference between girls aged
8,18,28,38,48,58 and 68

At 8: You take her to bed and tell her a story
At 18: You tell her a story and take her to bed
At 28: Your don't need a story to take her to bed
At 38: She tells you a story and takes you to bed
At 48: You tell her a story to avoid going to bed
At 58: You stay in bed to avoid her story
At 68: You take her to bed; and that will be a STORY....!!!!!

Temptation Resort & Spa is full with stories ;)

Be careful with the birthday surprises!

A man bought a Lie detector robot that slaps people who lie. He decided to test it at dinner: …
DAD : Son where were you today during school hours?
SON : At school (robot slaps the Son and he immediately changes his mind) Okay I went to the movies!
DAD : Which one?
SON : Harry Potter (robot slaps Son again!) Okay I was watching porno.
DAD : What? When I was your age I didn’t even know porno! (robot slaps dad)
MUM : hahahahaha! After all he is your Son! (robot gives Mum a hot dirty slap)

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Here's a little question


Q: What's the smallest hotel in the world?
A: A pussy, because you have to leave the bags outside.

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We're at the middle of the week and it's time to smile because almost is friday!


A man and his wife were having sex one night in there bedroom.
There little boy opens the door and says "Daddy what are you doing to mama?"
Then the daddy says "Making you a little sister"
And then the boy replies:
"Hell no do it doggy style I want a puppy."

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Are you feed your monkey?


A girl realized that she had grown hair between her legs. She got worried and asked her mom about that hair.
Her mom calmly said, “That part where the hair has grown is called Monkey, be proud that your monkey has grown hair.” …. the girl smiled.
At dinner, she told her sister, “My monkey has grown hair.”
Her sister smiled and said, “That’s nothing, mine is already eating bananas.”

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Here's todays joke

What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
"We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

TEMPTATION "Last Minute deal" 40% OFF + AIRPORT TRANSFERS on us!

Here's a little question


“A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed.
On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says,
"Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago."
The man replies,
"Madge, hon, that's because they are sitting in your soup.”

HOLIDAYS DEAL!
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I saw a friend of mine at the main dinning room bar and he was slinging back shot after shot. I asked what he was doing and he said I am celebrating my first blow job. I told him that was great and said I will get you another shot. He said if 10 shots wouldn't get the taste out of his mouth he didn't think the 11th would help either..

Jajaja great!

Quote:

---

Originally Posted by hedolovers2019

I saw a friend of mine at the main dinning room bar and he was slinging back shot after shot. I asked what he was doing and he said I am celebrating my first blow job. I told him that was great and said I will get you another shot. He said if 10 shots wouldn't get the taste out of his mouth he didn't think the 11th would help either..

---

Do you think this is true?

Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
A. A rumor

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Temptation Resort & Spa

Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says,
"Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
Sarah waves her hand,
"Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"
Miss Rogers says,
"All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?"
Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate."
Miss Rogers smiles and says,
"Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful."
Sarah says,
"No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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What do you prefer?

Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

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For today's joke

I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt…
Damn mosquito!!!

Rooms: 40% OFF + Free Transfers

It's monday and you need to smile!

A blonde decides to get a porno movie, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title.
When she puts the DVD in and presses 'PLAY,' the screen is fuzzy and nothing is going on.
Frustrated, she calls the store about the movie. They ask her what the title is,
and she replies, "Head Cleaner".

St. Patricks Deal! Lobster & Massages for Free!

A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat.
- So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself?
- Yes.
- Me too?
- Of course.
- And how much do you think I would cost?
- 500 francs.
- What?! Only 500 francs?!
- Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.

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