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Thread: Unwritten Rules

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    Unwritten Rules

    redacted
    Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:55 AM.

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    Registered User mtoc7154's Avatar
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    Our Experience

    Not sure how to respond to this. Our rules are pretty much written and shared with the other male.

    1. No kissing
    2. Condoms for penetration
    3. No spending the night
    4. No means NO
    5. No anal
    6. U can pick where you cum
    7. Round 2 (if there is one) is subject to mutual agreement

    These are given to our guest before meeting, if he doesn't agree we move on.

    These rules have worked well. Mostly good experiences, but some that weren't so good.

    As heartless as it may sound, the guest is an extra appendage for playing, that is all.

    Not sure this is what you had in mind.

  3. #3
    Registered User Moorerotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtoc7154 View Post
    Not sure how to respond to this. Our rules are pretty much written and shared with the other male.

    1. No kissing
    2. Condoms for penetration
    3. No spending the night
    4. No means NO
    5. No anal
    6. U can pick where you cum
    7. Round 2 (if there is one) is subject to mutual agreement

    These are given to our guest before meeting, if he doesn't agree we move on.

    These rules have worked well. Mostly good experiences, but some that weren't so good.

    As heartless as it may sound, the guest is an extra appendage for playing, that is all.

    Not sure this is what you had in mind.
    I hope you're paying these dudes, otherwise what does he get out of it. Extra appendage = sex worker. He should get paid for that nonsense.
    Adversity is like a flame, it melts the weak but it tempers the strong.

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    Registered User miamivice69's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtoc7154 View Post
    Not sure how to respond to this. Our rules are pretty much written and shared with the other male.

    1. No kissing
    2. Condoms for penetration
    3. No spending the night
    4. No means NO
    5. No anal
    6. U can pick where you cum
    7. Round 2 (if there is one) is subject to mutual agreement

    These are given to our guest before meeting, if he doesn't agree we move on.

    These rules have worked well. Mostly good experiences, but some that weren't so good.


    As heartless as it may sound, the guest is an extra appendage for playing, that is all.

    Not sure this is what you had in mind.
    2,3,4 and 6 for us. We also agree that the guest is an extra appendage for playing. MFM is not our preference, but it can be fun at times. We do not want the guy to think we are look for something more that a one time play date. I have never felt and jelousy with FFM or MFMF, but with MFM I have. The extra appendage approach takes care of the jelousy. We have never had a guy that has had an issue with that.

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    Registered User mtoc7154's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Moorerotic View Post
    I hope you're paying these dudes, otherwise what does he get out of it. Extra appendage = sex worker. He should get paid for that nonsense.
    He has a good time.

    Not to belabor the point, but in an MFM the 2nd M is a guest. He isn't part of the relationship. The relationship is bedtween us. WSe deliniate the difference between making love and having sex. A MFM is sex, not love. It is purely recreational. I played football and ride Harleys, I enjoy the recreation and the company, I don't want an emotional relationship with them, I want to have fun. It is our opinion that this is the right attitude, but you know what they say. "Opinions are like assholes, everyone has one, some are just bigger than others."
    Last edited by mtoc7154; 11-05-2009 at 08:03 PM. Reason: add to response

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    Dildo with a heartbeat

    redacted
    Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:54 AM.

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    Registered User partynekkid's Avatar
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    I have had three experiences two ffm one mmf. our rules are talk first. i like so and so what do you think? agree on what will happen. we dont do anything with out each other. that way nothing is secret. being the female i prefered the mmf. i had a better time being the center of attention. The male was someone we are friends with that i found atractive. i have a hard time seperating sex and emotion. i have to at least like you before i fuck you.
    no anal
    both partners always present.
    condoms. no maury shows here!!
    dont fuck and tell.
    my husband rules you are just the boyfriend.

  8. #8
    Registered User mtoc7154's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mars & Venus View Post
    Fascinating. This thread went in a very different direction than I expected.

    Do you take an identical viewpoint with FFM? So... a "hole with a heartbeat?" and similarly with couples? or is this an unwritten rule/understanding with just Males specifically as a third unitary actor not as part of another couple?
    I guess it's hard to explain in a few sentences. Our lifestyle choices are purely recreational......having fun. Our private lives are very emotianally intertwined. Can't really describe it, but we live it. We have often become quite good freinds with the other males and females. We talk, laugh have fun and have sex. So from that perspective we develop relationships with them. We don't talk about our kids or our days, we talk about likes, dislikes, SEX, the weather, SEX, sports, vacations and SEX.

    This is just our attitude, it isn't necessarily right or wrong, it's what works for us.

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    Registered User 2fast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by mtoc7154 View Post
    I guess it's hard to explain in a few sentences. Our lifestyle choices are purely recreational......having fun. Our private lives are very emotianally intertwined. Can't really describe it, but we live it. We have often become quite good freinds with the other males and females. We talk, laugh have fun and have sex. So from that perspective we develop relationships with them. We don't talk about our kids or our days, we talk about likes, dislikes, SEX, the weather, SEX, sports, vacations and SEX.

    This is just our attitude, it isn't necessarily right or wrong, it's what works for us.
    Well said, seems the only time there's a problem with the ruleset is when outsiders are looking at it to decide if it's right or wrong.
    I personally don't care if others think the rules are wrong or not, they're ours and work for us. If yours work for you and your marriage is stronger for having them then I'd say you're ahead of the game.

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    Tongue in cheek

    redacted
    Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:54 AM.

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    Registered User 2fast's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Mars & Venus View Post
    Okay. Evidently there are NO UNWRITTEN rules / understandings / presumptions. Based on what I've read in this thread I'm led to believe that most people believe that essentially everything is fair game and on the table unless you have specifically coordinated and included or ruled it out ahead of time. ...which I find surprising.

    I would think there would be certain accepted social conventions that would be presumed without having to specifically address them. Such as, some people like to use terms like “ho” or “bitch” during sex, which I find disrespectful and a turn off. But evidently one needs to address that? Additionally I thought for certain that MFM (and probably some FMF) would definitely entail certain unspoken if not homophobic understandings of what would and would not occur during play. Such as the second guy is strictly there for her and not them. Or perhaps more ambiguously, that there is a tacit understanding between the guys that each work different hemispheres on the woman unless you’ve arranged for DP or something that might risk crossing swords or some other position getting one guy's mouth to near the others plowshear while delectico el flagrante. But I guess you have to spell it out. ... or am I wrong here?
    Oh, I see what you mean now...
    1. Don't park any heavy equipment on my wife.
    2. Do not shoot my wife with a gun.
    3. Do not stab my wife with a knife.
    4. Do not throw my wife off the balcony (if it's above the 3rd floor).
    5. Do not bring nuclear weapons to our room.
    6.Do not ask to marry my wife.
    I will assume the above are known without having to list them to each person we'd like to play with.

    I see what you're asking but I can't think of a single unilateral "unspoken rule" that everyone here would have that would automatically apply to each situation.
    I'd say "don't hit my wife", but then if she feels like a spanking we'd be out of luck.
    Name calling? Some people like to be called the names you mentioned so while you find them a turnoff, some may like them so making that an unwritten rule would be tough. Way too many variables. The only one I can think of is "expect to waer protection unless it's specified otherwise.

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    Registered User partynekkid's Avatar
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    him- as far as the mm contact goes, I think that would be, if not unilateral, something that would be discussed before hand if it was ok, on the safe side with that one is that it's not ok unless specified otherwise. Others may have a different view on it, I don't know, me personally I have no interest in sexual contact with another male, a dp scenario where the possibility of "crossing swords" exists would not be a problem however because the point of that is maximum pleasure for the woman involved.
    The primary unspoken rule for us is that I call the shots through the whole game. If I say you can whip my wife, then it's ok, if I say you can call her names, then it's ok, we've known each other long enough that for the most part I can tell what she wants, what kind of mood she's in. Also both partners have the right to call it off at any point if things are going too far. This rule also applies to who we play with, they can call it off if they become uncomfortable. That's one reason we become friends with our play partners first, then you have an idea already what they like and don't like in a sexual encounter.

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    thanks

    redacted
    Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:54 AM.

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    still more unwritten rules

    redacted
    Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:54 AM.

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    Registered User mtoc7154's Avatar
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    Smile Unwritten

    We don't spell everything out. Things just develop. If it's uncomfortable, we would say so at the time. In an MFM the crossing of swords may occur, it's about her as the center of attention, if it makes her happy, it's OK with me. She doesn't do anal so no DP. She has tried to ah, how do I put this, take 2 of us orally, and it hasn't been an issue. Not a lot of guys I know who don't enjoy that. I'm sure there are others, but they elude me.

    January 15-22, 2010

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