Swinging questions..........

[Maxscott]

We are nudists, we are not in the lifestyle. We have a few questions. If a couple has a good relationship, what does swinging add to it........might it hurt it? Do you know of any couples that have broken up because of it and what was the primary reason?
We are back at H3 from 6/3 to 6/8......we can't wait.

[PNK]

I would guess your best chance to get an 'open' answer, and the truth, is to ask the question at Hedo. You will get as many answers as the people you ask. Both 'life stylers' and non-LS will be very forthcoming and honest.
Then you can make your own judgment.
We are probably too small a sample, here, to give you totally relevant answers.

PNK

[NorthernExposur]

If a couple has a good relationship, what does swinging add to it........might it hurt it? Do you know of any couples that have broken up because of it and what was the primary reason?
We would like any input, but a female's point of view and any helpful information would be greatly appreciated.
We are back at H3 from 6/3 to 6/8......we can't wait.

Lots of research.
Endless talking, openess and honesty.
Go slow.
Like virtually everything in life, there are stressors and benefits. I've got great friends who have been swinging as a married couple for over 25 years. But I've also watched many who's relationship was a train wreck within the year. The difference? I'd say how well they did the first 3 things above. The one common denominator I've seen in all of them however is that they all SAY they have a good relationship prior to starting.

[CopNkitten]

Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk Talk then Talk some more.
Swinging will not fix anything that is broken.
Swinging can enhance a strong relationship with the right people.
Should be open minded (though doesnt seem that way all the time).
What it brings is an added excitement. It's different for everyone as is everything in life.
I personally love watching my kitten give other guys B.J.'s. But watching her being pleased is always a turn on, weather its me or someone else.
The one thing you have to ALWAYS remember so that jealousy issues don't rear their ugly heads, is no matter how good someone is with your partner, no matter how much fun they are having, no matter what they are doing, it can NEVER be better than it is with each other, because you are in love.
If swinging breaks your marriage up, it was not the swinging, it was already broken and just something that helped it along.
I have seen people that thought they were ready and were not when they actually saw the partner with another.
NEVER be affraid to say "I want to stop" that goes for either partner.
Paul....

[miamivice69]

I agree with Paul but would add a few “warnings” Swinging is not for everyone. No matter how much you talk or how strong a relationship you have, it may not be for you. There is a huge difference between fantasy and reality. Just because you fantasize about it doesn’t mean you want it to really happen. Be prepared for jealousy. It happens but there is no reason for it to turn in to anger towards your partner if you have talked it out and agreed to it. Turn it into lust for your partner and it can add to the excitement. And as Paul said – the best mind blow sex does not compare to making love to your partner.

[MKA73130]

All great responses.

Just take it slow & easy. You don't have to jump in with both feet right away. Don't cross a bridge that you can't uncross. Both partners have to enjoy it. I would guess that most lifestyle couples get a bigger thrill out of watching their spouse enjoy themselves than they do out of their own pleasure. If either spouse has selfish intentions, you are asking for trouble.

Communication and openess are the key. That is why so many LS couples have great marriages.

[MILFHUNTERS4FUN]

I think Paul's right on.
Another analogy is when a partner cheats - it's not the actual cheating part that breaks them up, it's the broken trust and the fact that the cheater felt the need to cheat in the first place, there are so many more underlying problems - the cheating is just a symptom. Just like having an experience in the LS won't be the sole reason for splitting.
But certainly don't go into the LS thinking it will fix your relationship - IMHO participating in the LS will only enhance on something that's already great.

[HedoJoe]

As Paul said, Talk, Talk, Talk and more Talk. Prior to going, discuss anything and everything that you think may happen or want to happen. Go over what if scenarios. Create a set of rules or guidelines for yourselves. Agree that rules can be changed but not in the heat of the moment. Have an open mind and remember that love and sex are two different things.

Joe & Ellen

[dallastwo]

Maxscott, I hope this helps. We have been in the lifestyle for a couple years. We talked about it a lot and couldn't reach a decision. He was more for it than I was. We are in our mid and late 50's and have a very good, but busy marriage. We were at Hedo II in 2008 and stared to chat with a couple from Florida at the nude pool. They came right out and told us they did swing on occasion. We enjoyed the afternoon with them and my husband suggested we have dinner together. Later, after dinner, we were at the disco having a great time and they suggested we go for a late night skinny dip. Things got a bit hot" between My husband and myself and the other lady and her hubby while we were swimming. I liked the husband. He is a nurse in Orlando as his wife is, and she liked my husband. We went back to their room after a number of drinks and ended up having sexual fun. It's good we went there because they had a supply of condoms and we didn't (always have them just in case). My husband and I went we went back to our room we did something we haden't done in years, we had a second round of making love. The key is when we had sex with them is was "having sex", when we had sex in our room, we "made love".
This couple is now very good friends of ours and we see each other a couple times a year, either in Teaxas or Florida.
The swinging has done wonders. We had a good relationship before, and now it's unbelievable. We are closer than ever.

Good luck. I hope it works as well for you as it did for us, if you decide to give it a shot. I'm sure it will.
You only go around once. Have fun.

[Miss B Haven 2]

We have had a few opportunities to soft swing mostly girl on girl, some petting and a bit of oral, in the past 3 years and enjoy it. We have been married 30 years and have a very solid marriage. We met as teens and never had any other partners. For us it is a form of foreplay, you get your appetite while playing and then the love making between the 2 of you is great. The thought of being with a different person is so arousing, it gets the adrenaline pumping. It's like a woman with a new dildo, it's so intense the first time she uses it. First of all you have to know your limits and it must be consensual between the 2 partners. If 1 of the partners is doing it for the others pleasure then it may cause some problems. For some couples girl on girl is popular and some fondling. Some couples have a problem with threesomes and some have problems seeing there partner having intercourse with someone else. If you set your limits and boundries before you get into any action things should work out alright. If things don't feel right once you have started playing, you just let the other couple or person know and everyone should be alright stoping at that point. Good Luck and have fun. Let us know after your trip how things worked out.

[sexylady]

I would say go slow at comfortable pace for the other. We have been talking about it for 10 years. Started with fantasy. moved upto being nude and having sex in public. allowed some breast touching. Then allowed oral on me. Now I am ready for myself. We have a rock solid agreement that my man will not touch another or be touched. It works for both of us.

[Jester55]

The key is when we had sex with them is was "having sex", when we had sex in our room, we "made love".

Having not (yet) swung, I will say that I am fully on board with this concept. Swinging should be strictly to enhance what you have with your S.O. Its a no-strings chance to experiment, to experience different skill sets (and perhaps expand your own), and to create fodder for hot talk and more in bed with your S.O. after the swinging.

The object should be to ramp up your own LOVEMAKING with your S.O., because you enjoy seeing them hot, horny, and satisfied. Your swinging encounters must *not* be to replace something missing in your existing relationship, but only to spice up, enhance, and spark what you already have in a strong, stable relationship.

The swinging has done wonders. We had a good relationship before, and now it's unbelievable. We are closer than ever.

IMO, you "get it", and are perfect candidates for swinging. Absolutely do NOT use swinging, though, to fix problems in a bad relationship. To quote a certain sex guru:

"When a partner in a good relationship asks for a threeesome / swinging, the relationship is *really* good. When a partner in a bad relationship asks for a threeesome / swinging, the relationship is *really* bad."

You only go around once.

That wasn't true when I was much younger. And isn't necessarily true today.

Jester and Mrs. Jester
H2, July 1-11

[dallastwo]

As all have said, you neeed to talk and both of you must want to give it a try. I enjoy the extra sex just as much as seeing my husband enjoy himself and he says the same about watching me. It was strange at first, but it's a real turn on.
Our marriage was good before, it's so much stronger now.

[NorthernBoy]

As all have said, you neeed to talk and both of you must want to give it a try. I enjoy the extra sex just as much as seeing my husband enjoy himself and he says the same about watching me. It was strange at first, but it's a real turn on.
Our marriage was good before, it's so much stronger now.

I know I enjoy it when Sandy is having sexual contact with others. And of-course it is nice to have sex with other woman too... She get much more sexual before, during and after some sexual encounters. And since I like her sexual I am all for it!

NB

[miamivice69]

Dallastwo is giving you some great insight. You will find couples in the lifestyle that are not very selective, but in IMOP it is not common. Most treating like dating. There has to be chemistry between everyone and sometimes it is not easy to find four people, or more, who click.