Need some advice.

**tropez** · 04-08-2010, 10:14 AM

Hello everyone!

My name is Jonathan and I'm 33 years old. I'm married to a wonderful wife Lindsay who is also 33. We had been looking to go on a cruise with some friends this summer to Hawaii but that would run us like $4100 for both of us for the 12 day cruise. Then the tips, excursions, etc I'm sure would add another $1000. That seems like a lot of money to me.

So, we got to thinking. I mentioned last night to the wife, "Let's go to hedonism", and she responded with "there are others like it as well, like Secrets". So I think she would be up for a change of pace.

My wife and I went to Breeze's Runaway Bay Jamaica to get married years ago. We enjoyed the resort feel, the beach close by, sit back and relax atmosphere. We were with family though so I'm not sure how much fun we could have solo. we pretty much keep to ourselves when around strangers it seems.

My wife is a bit overweight, so I'm sure it would take a great deal of time for her to even consider being naked in front of others. I could care less if anyone seen my small pee-pee but I don't have the need to go naked, I would be fine in some shorts to be real honest.

Now, I'm the pervert of the group. My wife knows how freaky and odd I can be. I think she digs it as she has participated in some non-vanilla acts with me in the past. Nothing voyeuristic or in front of others but freaky none-the-less. I think being at a sexy place with sexy minded people for a week could be fun, the kid free think being a big bonus.

So what do you think? What resorts should we look at? What time of year is ideal? We don't want skanky or run-down, we want classy, sexy, and not a bunch of gawkers. I don't want my wife to feel uncomfortable because she is overweight either.

Any suggestions would be appreciated.

**ColonelPanic** · 04-08-2010, 11:04 AM

We have a similar-ish beginning. Before our first trip, my wife had looked at a nice place for us to stay in Hawaii. She told me about it, and the cost, and I said, "Christ, for that money, we could go to the Caribbean and it's a lot closer."

She was kinda miffed at me for that, with all the work she had put in, so just to be as over the top as she could, said, "Fine, we should go to Hedonism then." I thought she was serious, so I started doing some research on the matter. When I finally told her, "I think I could do Hedonism" she was shocked. She had never in a million years figured I'd be up for that. It was more of a "Fine, then you find a vacation" comment than it was serious.

So we talked about it and decided to go. I was totally panicked. She wasn't so much. If you read around on these boards, you'll see that weight doesn't matter at all. If your wife doesn't want to, don't force her, but I can't tell you how many women make this comment at the end of their week on the nude side: "I can't believe how much better I feel about myself and my body." It's true, no matter shape nor size.

You've come to a place where the folks are very partial to Hedonism (especially 3, but also 2) and so you're going to get answers that tell you to go to Hedo. I'm one of them. Which one you want, depends on what amenities are most important to you. Both resorts are reasonably comparable. Other posts have plenty of information on the differences, etc.

As for what time of year, that's up to you. There are groups who go all the time, and are always looking for new members. The groups vary from loosely knit friends to chat with, to tightly knit folks with party schedules. We travel in an "off week" where we see the same folks from year to year, but the resort is a bit quieter. We like that, enough energy, without being too much. But I'm a low energy kind of guy on vacation.

Alright, I've rambled enough for now.

**tropez** · 04-08-2010, 11:26 AM

Let's say, we get there, and she doesn't get into the mood to be naked. Is that cool, could she go the entire time without being naked and not be frowned upon? I would love a sexy type of place to vacation, but I also don't want her to feel down about it or feel out of the fun just because she's not comfortable quite yet with the public nudity.

Also, I've seen that the Secrets resorts seem to be rated about 4.5 starts where the Hedo's come in around 3. I wonder what makes that much of a difference?

**ColonelPanic** · 04-08-2010, 12:03 PM

Hedo 3 might be a good choice for you, as it provides the "quad" pool which is clothing optional. I've not been, and others I'm sure will comment. However, at both Hedo resorts you have prude and nude areas. You can stay on the prude side, and still have a fine vacation. It will certainly be quieter, and maybe not as wild, but the resort's vibe is everywhere, prude or not.

If she didn't want to get naked, she's not going to be allowed to stay in the nude areas. This is primarily out of respect for the other folks who are visiting. She'll be allowed to go look, and hang out for a few minutes, but the guards will ask you to either disrobe or keep moving, eventually.

I'll let someone else comment about how the quad works at H3.

As I understand it, Secrets provides no clothing-optional or nude areas. It's a romantic getaway, not an erotic one. If you're not looking for the sexy/erotic vibe, and more the romantic vibe, Hedonism resorts may not be the right place.

A lot of other resorts have nicer rooms, etc. Hedo is "fine" but isn't 4 star. The staff certainly is fantastic, but I imagine that's true at most resorts. Rooms are adequate at Hedo, but generally speaking, almost no time is spent in the room for an average Hedo guest, so the only real attribute most folks care about is room location, depending on where on the resort they plan to spend the most time. I'm sure resorts like Secrets have significantly nicer rooms.

Personally speaking, when I travel for business, I'm somewhat of a room snob. At Hedo, I could care less. I care about the beach, the people, the atmosphere, and I find all of that to be fantastic, _especially_ the people you meet, both staff and guests.

I've stayed in much nicer places than Hedo, and much worse. The rooms are (I'd say) on par with your average American hotel chain.

**tropez** · 04-08-2010, 01:28 PM

Thanks for the replies guys, it's really helpful.

**TAVM88** · 04-08-2010, 05:56 PM

Hi, Im a over weight lady . Last years was our first trip to hedo11 . I was scared as hell to go naked too. But when i got there i saw all sizes and everyone made me feel great about the way i looked. Not one bad look or remark . Just friendly loving people .Everyone is beautiful no matter what size thay are . If i was you i would give hedo11 a try .We are going on sept 12th .
Thanks ,

**eirpie** · 04-08-2010, 06:48 PM

Hi! My Wife and I have done both HEDO'S. Were married at III.
I think the most impressive thing about both is the openness of everyone to converse and socialize without any prejudice or social barriers. (Clothing, I think, was probably worst thing "civilization" ever made a standard.) Ever since we dropped our drawers the first time at Hedo, we simply must have our "fix" every year. The staff are so over the top they set the pace for everyones total enjoyment. I do not see how they do it day after day.
But, by all means, drop those drawers and get out with yourself. There is never any judging, gawking, smirking, just a bunch of people who want to just have fun and completely forget all those stresses of their lives back at home. The beauty in everyone truly comes out when the smiles and laughter are the only things they are wearing.
So, just do it! You will always wonder if you don't!
Eirpie & th' Missus

**born2bnekkid** · 04-08-2010, 09:42 PM

Here is the greatest hedo 3 secret... I am 5'2" and 110 lbs. my husband is 6'2" and 280 lbs. you will see every size, shape and color at hedo. People are all there to have fun of an adult nature!! (My teen son once asked why there was a waterslide if kids weren't allowed at the resort...my reply....because we aren't dead yet!) We have seen a woman with a masectomy sp?. We have seen people doing oral at the nude pool bar who were at least in their 70's. All ages, all sizes, all colors...but the one thing everyone has in common is that they really don't judge others! You will find everything from a to z and people are just accepting of it all. Best advice...while you are waiting for a drink at the bar...say hi to the person next to you. Next thing you know you will have made a friend! Truth is we have met the best friends we have on Hedo vacations. We have traveled to different parts of the country to visit them. We prefer H3 to H2 but have found that which ever resort you visit first tends to be your favorite. (yes, we do polls while on vacation! Great way to meet new people!) If you decide on a Hedo vacation (and I would recommend it to everyone) just go thinking you will participate in the fun and you will have a blast! The first time we went, we booked a room on the nude side. I have to unpack or can't function...Ted does pick on me about this! While I was unpacking he said "let's not do the nude side right away" I said "ok"...5 minutes later he is naked at the back door of the room saying "let's just do it and get it over with"...I am like "but I haven't finished unpacking!" lol We did and have been naked since...at hedo anyway! Most people who wait to do the naked side and do it at the end of their vacation say "wish I had done this sooner!" People at hedo are cool, the atmosphere is fun and sexual. If you want something laid back and not sexual...Hedo is probably not the place to be. Most people hang at the nude pool, some at the quad (which we do a lot and it's where we book our room), and very few on the prude side. Hope this helps! We have been to H3 nine times and H2 once...feel free to ask questions!

**tropez** · 04-09-2010, 10:16 AM

Can you give some details on the quad?

**NickandKitty** · 04-09-2010, 12:32 PM

The quad is called the quad because it is comprised of 4 buildings oriented to form a square. In the middle of that square is a fairly large pool with a hot tub, a couple fountains, a volleyball court, and of course a bar. Over the bar, via a spiral staircase, is a sun deck that, when we are there in August, almost never gets used during the day because it is a tad warm up there.
I have attached a picture to give you a realistic idea.
As far as the goings on in the quad, it is "clothing optional" which means you will see people in all states of dress or undress throughout the day. Expect some good natured peer pressure

.
The bar is closed at night, and often when the nude jacuzzi is packed or too loud people will occasionally take their party over there for a little better atmosphere (to some

)
It is much larger than the nude pool, and somewhat quieter though no less social in my opinion. We have had good days there, though we prefer the nude pool.
A word of advice- if you are over 6 feet tall (as I am) make sure the bits are well covered with sunscreen- I suffered a little sunburn there in a delicate spot because I was a little out of the water. Not good. Healed fine though- for those interested in knowing lol.
Hope this helps!
Nick (and the delicious Kitty)tm

**demon** · 04-09-2010, 02:52 PM

Also at H2...women are always allowed to wear a bathing suit bottom on the nude side. I would assume it's the same at H3, we've only been there twice so
it doesn't ring a bell.

**NickandKitty** · 04-09-2010, 03:16 PM

That is an issue that depends on the security guard working and the powers of persuasion of the offending lady- strictly speaking the nude side is NUDE, not clothing optional- we have seen women get away with wearing bottoms with the excuse of their monthly visitor and similarly be told that is no excuse and they must either disrobe or leave the nude area. I imagine it is that way at 3 because there is the quad and they have another option to the nude area.
Nick (and the naked whenever she can be Kitty)tm

**takemetonegril** · 04-09-2010, 06:09 PM

As to nudity

I've been known to say " when you don't have any pockets, you have nowhere to hide your sparking personality".

I've been nude for a long time and in a few different locations, people are always friendly, but never met a more fun and friendly group than at H2

And you can always show up to the party in a towel, (hopefully she will be at least topless) and quick, slip into the pool, go find a seat at the bar, by the time you have to get out and pee, you'll be all good, ea time after that good-er and good-er, LOL.

People usually don't notice your shape too much cuz they are looking you in the eyes when they are speaking to you.

Cheers

**born2bnekkid** · 04-10-2010, 03:59 PM

You should be open minded though...not to say that you need to do everything that others do (that is not the hedo I love...OMG...I would have had to have sex with the blow up doll!). You should be able to laugh and not be judgemental. That is the greatest part of Hedo...everyone is who they are, they don't pressure you to do something you don't want to but don't want you freaking out when they do it without you! LOL You can choose to watch or not! The freedom at Hedo is amazing! Your true colors come out, sex with your so is hotter, the friends you make become lifelong...all of the everyday things you deal with--work, kids, dogs, bills etc--become obsolete!!

**bibabe** · 04-10-2010, 05:42 PM

Originally Posted by NickandKitty

The quad is called the quad because it is comprised of 4 buildings oriented to form a square. In the middle of that square is a fairly large pool with a hot tub, a couple fountains, a volleyball court, and of course a bar. Over the bar, via a spiral staircase, is a sun deck that, when we are there in August, almost never gets used during the day because it is a tad warm up there.
I have attached a picture to give you a realistic idea.
As far as the goings on in the quad, it is "clothing optional" which means you will see people in all states of dress or undress throughout the day. Expect some good natured peer pressure

.
The bar is closed at night, and often when the nude jacuzzi is packed or too loud people will occasionally take their party over there for a little better atmosphere (to some

)
It is much larger than the nude pool, and somewhat quieter though no less social in my opinion. We have had good days there, though we prefer the nude pool.
A word of advice- if you are over 6 feet tall (as I am) make sure the bits are well covered with sunscreen- I suffered a little sunburn there in a delicate spot because I was a little out of the water. Not good. Healed fine though- for those interested in knowing lol.
Hope this helps!
Nick (and the delicious Kitty)tm

We are very happy to hear that you healed well! lol