Need Enlightening

[tattooed]

Hi all, I was at Hedo II in Feb with my wife and thoroughly enjoyed the trip and our first nude experience. The thing that I don't get is why do guys allow other guys to put their hands all over their wife or girlfriend. I watched on numerous occasions when husbands/boyfriends stood there while another guy was all over his woman. And from conversations I had with different people many guys allow their woman to have sex with other guys. I need enlightening. I just don't get it. Is it that these guys aren't able to satisfy their woman themselves? I'm not being judgemental, just curious.

[critter2]

I can not talk for everyone but we have been together for 30 years and it is kind of erotic to see 25 to 30 year old guys try and put the make on the wife!! I think it helped build her self esteem the 1st trip and now she is always feeling better about herself.

[Rebelwolf]

Well that's a hard question to answer. I don't just sit by and watch guys put their hands all over my wife, actually she does not allow them to. But she does get a lot of attention from some of the guys and that's not a bad thing. A woman needs to know she's still attractive to men.

From most of the lifestyle couples we have talked to its not that they do not satisfy each other, just something to add an extra spark to the relationship. We do not need it in our relationship but I understand how it could be. Having another guy hit on my wife makes us both feel good, and for the same reason. Basically it confirms the idea that she is a desireable woman.

[toohorny]

We are a lifestlye couple and here is our 2 cents worth.

We are a full swap couple and have played with couples and singles (both men and women) (she is bi, I am straight). When we seek other to join us, it is not because we cannot satisfy each other, it is just for extra fun. In fact, we are deeply in love with each other and make love often......we do have sex with others, but not make love....there is a huge difference!
We are both very open about our sexuality and use the lifestlye to express ourselves and sometimes play with others that we find attractive. But we do not allow ourselves to be groped by anybody or everybody. Just like everybody else we do not like or want unwanted advances....if you would like to touch, ask first, and if it is no, please respect that.
Many people get jealous if others were hitting on their spouse, we do not. We are very open to each other and express our feelings, we also find it very exciting to watch each other with new people and watching the passion on each others faces.
In conclusion, we separate sex from making love. If my wife asked me if she could have sex with some guy, I would probbably say "sure", but if my wife had an emotional affair with some guy, I would be very hurt, jealous, and mad. Its all about communication and trust.
Hope this enlightend you.

[tattooed]

Folks, nice responses, thanks. I can appreciate all of your opinions. I'm just not at the point where I could watch another guy do anything sexual to my wife, nor would she want another guy to do anything sexual to her. I doubt if we will ever be at that point. We still rock each others boat pretty good. Again, thanks and see you at Hedo. We enjoyed our trip in Feb to the max.

[MikeandLiz]

Folks, nice responses, thanks. I can appreciate all of your opinions. I'm just not at the point where I could watch another guy do anything sexual to my wife, nor would she want another guy to do anything sexual to her. I doubt if we will ever be at that point. We still rock each others boat pretty good. Again, thanks and see you at Hedo. We enjoyed our trip in Feb to the max.

I can appreciate that viewpoint though I still think you've missed the point a bit. It isn't about people not rocking each others boat anymore. It's simply another way to enjoy a relationship...though it's NOT for everyone. My wife and I are not in the lifestyle, but I do enjoy seeing her get attention from other men. It re-affirms for her and I her attractiveness. Men are no different. You can't tell me if an attractive young lady shows interest in you or flirts with you that you aren't flattered.

Some people, both men and women, act on this secretly and cheat. This is when it's a problem. It is also usually a case where someone is less than satisfied with their mate. Some feel that adds EXTRA excitement for the 2 of them. It can make them even closer than they were, but again it's not for everyone and will not improve a weak or struggling marriage.

I have seen men feel my wife's breasts or ass and as long as she's okay with it then I am. If she says "no" then they better stop. But that's as far as we personally have gone. I don't know if it will go further one day or not, but if it does it will simply be because we feel it will ADD fun and excitement to our sexlives and not because we don't rock each other's boat anymore. We do, infact we are SO into each other that many times we get carried away in public and have a hard time keeping our hands off! (which is why we want to check out hedo II, 04/27/06 - 04/30/06, 2 days and a wake up!!!)