Soft Swap ideas

**nike** · 01-11-2010, 07:27 PM

I would like to introduce my wife to a couple who would like to a do soft swap.
Any ideas on how I should approach this idea with her. WE will be at Hedo 3 from Jan 26 to FEB2

**Mars & Venus** · 01-11-2010, 07:42 PM

redacted

**MaryW** · 01-11-2010, 09:16 PM

Re-emphasizing what Mars&Venus stated...you need to talk and talk in DETAIL.

I have been in the lifestyle for about 11 years...a relative baby compared to my husband who's been in for over 30 years and neither of us would know what you mean by "soft swap". There are probably a ka-zillion variations of the term soft swap.

So my advice would be not to approach her with an undecipherable term but instead with a specific statement about what you'd like to consider.

Maybe start by asking her what she expects Hedo to be like.

I'm surprised you haven't discussed this at all since you've made the plans to go to Hedo...hasn't "what's going to happen" even come up? What has she said about it so far?

**NickandKitty** · 01-11-2010, 11:12 PM

We completely agree with the communication aspect as mentioned above. Past that, we have always found the best plan is to NOT PLAN! You are in a sexually charged environment with an open bar. Talk, get to know eachother, flirt some, and see where it goes. As things start to move a direction usually there is some discussion about what you are into- be honest about what your limits are- the ones you set before you get there!- and let things run their course. Never be afraid to put the brakes on if either of you feel uncomfortable. Hedo is great, but not worth the kind of conflict that can come with doing something in this arena that you will regret later, or one member feels resentful about feeling "pushed" into.
Party on....
Nick (and the dishy Kitty)tm

**daphnelson** · 01-12-2010, 08:00 AM

The reponse so far are right - communication and respecting what each partner wants in life is number one. Remember just because you are going to Hedo it doesn't mean you have to be in the lifestyle. Go have fun, relax, enjoy each other. Soft swap, full swap, no swap - either way we look forward to meeting you during your trip!!

Daphne and Nelson

**nike** · 01-12-2010, 04:05 PM

Thanks for all the advice .I talked to my wife and we agreed to take it slow and see what happens.

**2fast** · 01-12-2010, 05:33 PM

Originally Posted by nike

Thanks for all the advice .I talked to my wife and we agreed to take it slow and see what happens.

Take it VERY slow and talk a lot. Thsi is one of those times you have to tell her anyhting she chooses is ok, but if you suggest it it might seem like it's for you, not for the both of you.
Talk TALK TALK!!!!