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Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:33 AM.
Use a seperate email address for playmates.
Don't use my business signature on my response emails
Hedo III Jan 15 to 22, 2010
Friends and family are always asking why there is the same 5 digit number sharpied onto most of the bottles in your liquer cabinet.
as soon as we got our hot tub - that's when everyone started asking us what we were up to....
The more you drink the less you need your pants
NYE 2016/2017 - H2
February 2014 - H2
October 2013 - H2
November 2012 - H2
February 2012 - H2
NYE 2010/2011 - H2
January 2010 - H2
February 2009 - H3
February 2008 - H3
Nahhh.. They only think that when you buy one below the 44th parallel. In northern frigid-land it's a heat source... In the same category as food and shelter.Originally Posted by norvalpleasure
Now that I think of it ... 6 people in a room at the same time is a heat source too. Now we just need to find a way to get carbon offset credits
You are always trying to find friends for your kids to have a sleepover, so that you can have FRIENDS sleep over.
when you go out on the town, you go splits on a hotel room with the same couple instead of cabbing it back home. ......( still have adult children living with us at home )
This has got to be one of the best threads we have ever read!!! We are actually laughing out loud!!!
ours is
When you refer to your new friends by their screen names rather than their real names!! ;-)
ohhh and when you travel to random cities that really dont have much going on... people start to wonder why in the world you would go to THAT city!!! Cause we know that every little town has that awesome hole in the wall restaurant... yeah thats why we go there
Dec 27-Jan 9, 2009
Dec 29-Jan 7, 2010
Dec 13-21, 2011
Sept 13-25, 2013
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Last edited by Mars & Venus; 01-26-2010 at 12:32 AM.
On top of that swingers are the only people who refer to individuals in context of their plurality in conversation. i.e. i just got an email from jane (of john and jane)
You have two Facebook pages. One for friends that are oblivious, and one for your playmates.
Jester
When you mention friends to people but when asked you have no idea what their last names are....
"NEW" Friends sent this to us when we first got into the LS:
You Know You're a Swinger When.....
1. Giggling to yourself at the office when your co-workers tell you how wonderful their weekend was.. If only they knew.
2. Before traveling somewhere on business or to visit relatives you look up couples in the area.
3. You have a lot of friends all over the world.
4. You come home with that "There's Something About Mary" hairstyle.
5. When going to a strip club with your guy friend's, instead of your wife, seems like a ridiculous waste of time and money.
6. Your kids and the baby-sitter ask why Mommy already has her coat on when she comes out of the bedroom every Saturday night.
7. Wondering how to explain to the neighbors why 10 couples show up on a Saturday night carrying over night bags, blankets, pillows and don't leave until early Sunday afternoon…
8. You never open the garage door until you're in the car with the doors closed.
9. You both turn your head to watch the hot woman walking down the street!
10.At the gym shower you're the only one with shaved balls.
11. You make plans to meet a "normal" couple at a nice restaurant and realize you have absolutely nothing you can wear.
12. You spend more time grooming your privates than most porn stars.
13. You only know couples by their first names and e-mail addresses.
14. Many of your pictures are from different hotel rooms and in quite a few you have a convention wristband on.
15. Your nightstand drawer is full of bar napkins with couple's names and phone numbers.
16. You are sending out online Christmas cards to people with names like: dareustwo wifewetandbi and xoticcouple.
17. All of a sudden.. you have friends in Minnesota, Utah, West Virginia and New Mexico.
18. At work when someone tells a risqué adventure, most are shocked or stunned - you say "Cool !"
19. You are running out of reasons to tell your "normal" friends why you can't go out with them.
20. You go to Jamaica once a year and "Hedo" means something to you.
21. You close an e-mail to your sister with Bi Bi.
22. You closet is filled with 5" high heeled shoes.. and you have more lingerie than most department stores.
23. You are running out of excuses to tell your baby-sitter why you come home at 4am on Saturday nights/Sunday mornings and have a Freshly Fucked look.
24. Every bottle of liquor in your house has a big sticker with your membership number or couple's name on it.
25. You see a really hot girl walking down the street and you say to yourself, I wonder if she'll do my wife !
26. You're walking down the street and your wife hits you for NOT telling her about the hot girl you were looking at.
27. You're at the bar and someone asks you to take them home, and you say "No problem, but only if my wife can play too".
28. You and your wife see a hot chick and bet who could fuck her first.
29. When your wife says it's ok to bring home that hottie who walks her dog by your place as long as she can fuck her too.
30. You get all excited and rush down to the local community center advertising a swap meet and find out its baseball cards.
31. Your adolescent kids have more hair on their privates than you do!!
32. You refer to your play friends as couples (Rich and Joyce, Frank and Jennifer). Example - "Frank, of Frank and Jennifer, called today".
33. Whenever you go out, you always throw a small overnight bag in the car .... "just in case".
34. You have more rings on your privates than you do on your fingers.
35. All your links on your computer have something to do with finding couples, toys, clothes and places to go on vacation to explore your wild side.
36. When your birthday or Christmas comes up, there are more presents that can't be opened in front of the family, than there are that can be.
37. When birthday surprise parties take on a whole new meaning.
38. You have numerous pictures of various couples naked, before you meet them.
39. Your wife spends more time checking out the waitress at the family restaurant than you.
40. Your straight husband shops for his underwear at Gay Men's Stores where there is an unlimited selection of makes, styles, colors and fabrics.
41. You are grocery shopping, and supposed to be checking your food out, not the couple in front of you or the check-out gal
42. You always carry two condoms in your purse every where you go...just in case.
43. All your normal friend ask why they are never invited to your parties.
44. When your child walks by the computer area and asks what 'The Lifestyle' means
45. You are both well over 55 and don't look a day over 40 and don't seem to be aging a bit. Straight friends look old enough to your parent's friends. They think you are getting younger and want to know your secrets.
46. When your "normal" friends accuse you of being swingers and you try and stumble through some lame reply only to realize they were only joking about you having a hot tub. Another close call.
47. When you are out with the guys and a hot woman walks by and instead of saying "wow, I would love to take that for a ride", you say "wow, that would look great on my wife" That's when the guys turn to you and say "yeh right in your dreams!" and all you can do is smile and tell yourself how lucky you are to be who you are
48. your digital camera batteries are always fully charged and ready to go!
49. You start to wonder whether your wife ever did have pubic hair, or if she is even capable of growing any!
50. You have an entire drawer filled with assorted condoms in various sizes and colors... and YOUR husband has a vasectomy!
51. All of your bras are one size too small (and you like'em that way!)
52. You have more "private" photo albums than family ones.
53. At your "normal parties", no one can use "the Master Bathroom" because you're afraid someone will notice the webcam bolted to the wall in your bedroom on the way!
54. You're constantly afraid that a "straight friend" will pop-in one of your videos that you forgot to hide!
55. You let the answering machine pick-up because don't know whether to answer, "hello", or "Hey Baby!"
56. You make bets with other swinging friends as to how long it will take to 'corrupt' your cute 'straight' girlfriends!
57. You lay odds, while setting at the bar, if they are swingers or they are not swingers.
58. Beating around the bush with your normal friends trying to figure out if they're interested in swapping or not…….without giving away the fact that you're a swinger.
59. When you're in a public place and hear someone say something that sounds similar to your screen name and you start getting paranoid that someone recognizes you off the Internet.
60. When your at a swinger club and don't recognize another couple until you see them with their clothes off.
61. When your swinger friends and your normal friends are at the house at the same time and your normal friends ask the question "So how do ya'll know each other."
62. When your parents / babysitter asks "So why are you going there for the weekend? That seems like a weird place to take a vacation."
63. When you come home from a long party weekend with strange underwear in your luggage and just laugh about it.
64. When the Gynecologist looks at your wife funny for asking for Birth Control and asks "But I thought your husband had a vasectomy" as he shuffles through papers in your file.
65. When your paranoid that you're 12 year old is going to figure out your login password as well as the screen saver password.
66. You get really excited when a new couple joins the site that lives really close to you…."Honey, come here and look at this couple!"
67. Your spouse tells you about a new person at work but prefaces the conversation with "No, we can't screw them."
68. You start having withdrawals after two days without Internet access.
69. You spend more than 5 minutes discussing how you're going to win the upcoming photo contest.
70. Someone asks where your staying when you go to Jamaica and your like "Crap, I forgot the name of the resort….but its supposed to be really nice."
71. Your co-workers ask you to bring back a lot of pictures from your vacation and all you can do is giggle.
72. When you come back from vacation and the only place where you got sunburned was where your tan-lines use to be.
73. You screw up and make plans with one couple for Saturday night and then find out that you're spouse made plans with another couple. Then it dawns on you that this is not a problem, it's an Orgy.
74. Your boss wonders why you're going to Orlando or Las Vegas "in the middle of summer for God's sake!"
75. When you are more concerned about a pimple on your privates than on your face.
76. When you go to a convention and your bags consist of a bag for toys, a bag for leather stuff, a bag for lingerie and a small bag for straight clothes.
77. When you dress at night to party, knowing full well that your clothes won't be on for long once you are at the party 15 minutes.
78. When the 1st thing you do checking into a hotel is to ask for extra towels and a fridge.
79. When your daughter comes to you on Friday afternoon and asks, "Are you going out with people you already know this weekend, or have you made some new friends?"
80. When you come back from a convention and everyone has a male and female name so that you know who you are talking about and can visualize the couple. i.e. what did LINDA & frank have to say about this(Really means Linda) or was FRANK & Linda wearing shoes last night(Really means Frank). If you only say Frank or Linda, our mate can't remember which one was Linda or Frank!!
81. You tell the babysitter that you are going out for dinner and drinks with friends, and when you finally show up at your front door, the paperboy has already delivered the morning paper.
82. Whenever the conversation among your civilian friends turn to "Temptation Island", all you can do is roll your eyes.
83. We came to the realization we were swingers when we realized that cycled from doing things we couldn't tell our parents to now doing things we can't tell our kids.
84. You're in a straight club & you see your wife w/ her hand down someone's pants, and it doesn't bother you........ then you ask her if he's hung or not so she doesn't get the short end.
85. ... The guys ask everyone to pitch in $60 a man for a bachelor party, and you think to yourself, "What a waste! That money could buy a night at a club where you can watch hot naked women all night -AND- get laid by them!!!"
86. One of your business cards reads "Your first name and your spouse's first name and your "special" e-mail address.
87. You give all your "new" friends your custom-ring number ...the one the kids are NEVER allowed to answer.
88. As soon as you have a fantasy and tell your spouse, you find a way to make your fantasy come true.
89. When your buddy asks you if you've seen the movie "Swingers" and you laugh your butt off! And he asks you "What's so funny?"
90. You are reading this instead of sleeping.
91. When you send your kids away for a sleepover to their Aunts, so you two can get ready for your special over nighter Hot Tub party
92. When you ask an exceptionally attractive woman at work for a few minutes to discuss a project and you get an erection when she says:"I'll try to fit you in... I think I can swing it."
93. When you can vividly picture the middle aged female accountant in your office doing the girls in assembly, and you realize that is a common thought in your head.
94. When you go to your computer and the first site you go to is Swinger's Board to check for new e-mails/members.
95. When you're buying each other lap dances.
96. When your wife has a double headed dildo.
97. You find yourselves speaking in code in front of your kids and those not 'in the know'.
98. You're still smiling on Monday from the party on Saturday.
99. When you take a male and female teddy bear, dress them up in kinky fetish leather B&D outfits and take a bunch of pics off the bears to send your friends.
100. When you are in line at the market, and the only things in your basket are the value pack of condoms, and a bottle of mouthwash.
101. When you get dressed for work & realize the only kind of hosiery that you own anymore are thigh highs or garters...
102. When you take a picture with friends you pose to hide the wristbands & ask no one to flash the camera so you can have a "fridge-worthy" pic...
103. You have a larger variety of condoms & lube than most sex stores & drug stores combined...
104. After 25 years, people still ask if you're newlyweds
105. You know you're a swinger when your wife has slept with more men since you were married than before you were married.
106. On the same note, you know that you are a swinger when you waited to sleep around until after you were married.
107. You refer to your friends by their online names..."Should we go out with HOTBIGRL4U, or SEXY242FUN this weekend?"
108. You know you're a swinger when the wife has slept with more women since...well...ever!
109. You know you're a swinger when nobody sleeps when you sleep with your friends
110. You know you're a swinger when you plan outings with friends around you're wife's monthly cycle; and when you know when your friends' cycle are.
111. You know you're a swinger when you spent twice as long on your profile than you did on your resume...
112. You know you're a swinger when you can't remember your special friend's birthday or last name but you know when her period is...
113. You know you're a swinger when the only time your vanilla friends see you, it just happens to be that time of the month...
114. You know you're a swinger when you realize that you've scored on MORE dates since you've been married than you did when you were single!
115. You know you're a swinger when you have to get dressed twice to go out- once to drop off the kid at the sitter, and once in the car on the way to the club!
116. You know you're a swinger when your vanilla friends think you're boring because your weekend stories have NO details...
117. You know you're a swinger when your spouse asks you if you want to have sex, you ask "with who?" and it's not a joke!
When your son babysits at your friends house overnight so your friends can stay at your house overnight.
Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 15th Annual Spring Fling April 9th - 16th, 2022 (We will be onsite 4/7/22 - 4/18/22) http://www.kittennangel.com/
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