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Thread: To swing or not to swing?

  1. #1
    Registered User tbone69's Avatar
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    To swing or not to swing?

    I'm wondering how many couples went to Hedo for the first time swearing and hoping that they had no intention of doing anything with other people, and then doing "things" because of the sexual atmosphere and letting their inhibitions down due to booze and other "stimulants".

  2. #2
    Registered User chrisandlizvt's Avatar
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    None of our many Hedo friends have ever shared that that happened to them, it certainly has never happened to us and we've partied pretty hard at Hedo. We both know what is acceptable and what is not and have yet to cross that line. I've even gone on girls trips and had no issue, as well as going to H2 with my Hedo friends, Gary & Lora, and managed to keep my pants on (not literally). Though of course no one believed we weren't there as a triple decker.

    I'm sure it happens, but it doesn't appear to be the norm...at least not that I know of.

    Liz
    Liz & Chris

  3. #3
    Registered User partynekkid's Avatar
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    I haven't seen or heard of anyone doing something they didn't want to do just because of the atmosphere or level of intoxication. Doesn't mean it doesn't happen, but I haven't heard anything.

  4. #4
    Registered User MaryW's Avatar
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    oh wow! I hope that doesn't happen very often at all because letting your inhibitions down due to booze and "other stimulants" is the absolute wrong reason to do so.

    Any time you think to change your limits it should always be well thought out and discussed beforehand. If someone starts to feel they've had a change of heart, it would be best to wait until you're straight - or if that's not a factor, wait until you "cool off" and think and talk with clear heads back in your room in private.

    I would hate to think someone spent time with me just because they were drunk...and later take a chance of regretting the experience. Especially if it meant the possibility of ruining a friendship which is more important than anything else.

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  5. #5
    Registered User tbone69's Avatar
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    Well, everyone knows that the best of intentions goes out the window with alcohol and drugs.....so that is why I ask. To be honest, when I party, I tend to get a little rowdy (and fun), and then everything seems OK at the time. My wife is very, very, very cool to a point. (I'm still learning where that point is). But she is definitely not at the swinging point, and I'm not sure that that is where I am at either. I do fantasize about it quite often. She denies thinking about it, but I know that she fantasizes about it during playtime.......

  6. #6
    Registered User cande6964carl's Avatar
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    Working as a DJ for many years and being in the bar scene I have seeen this QUITE OFTEN! A man who WANTS to explore... his woman who is NOT... she gets TOASTED... she starts fooling around, inhibitions are gone, she does things she would never do if she was sober. RECIPE FOR DISASTER!

    At Hedo... NOT THE CASE!!!!
    Yes same couple, same drinking, same loss of inhibitions... NOT the same people as are at the bar! HEDO People are RESPECTFUL!!!

    I saw one girl who was VERY drunk and would have done anything, she "WANTED" to do things, BUT Hedo people realize she didn't really want to she was just drunk! Also HEDO people wouldn't take advantage of someone in that state of mind.

    Now, REALITY is YES drinking relieves and relaxes alot of people's inhibitions. It is good to relax and have a few or more, get a little drunk and have some fun... DO NOT DO IT WHEN YOU ARE BLITZ AND NOT IN YOUR RIGHT FRAME OF MIND!

    Key to this is that WE BOTH know what we will and will not do PERIOD! So even in our drunk state of mind we know what is wrong! We do not get so drunk that all our respect and ability to realize right from wrong is gone!

    Do not let her do anything she has told you she doesn't want. YOU are her protector, he keeper, she trusts you to ensure she does not do anything she said she didn't.

    IF she opens up and starts telling you things, while drunk, she wants to do that she never said before... put that in the rol-o-dex and say OK HONEY WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW! and DO NOT LET HER DO ANYTHING SHE DIDN'T WHEN SHE WAS SOBER!

    RESPECT & COMMUNICATION!

    START TALKING WITH YOUR PARTNER!!!!!!
    Last edited by cande6964carl; 03-25-2010 at 10:07 PM.

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    Registered User hare2party's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cande6964carl View Post
    Do not let her do anything she has told you she doesn't want. YOU are her protector, he keeper, she trusts you to ensure she does not do anything she said she didn't.

    IF she opens up and starts telling you things, while drunk, she wants to do that she never said before... put that in the rol-o-dex and say OK HONEY WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW! and DO NOT LET HER DO ANYTHING SHE DIDN'T WHEN SHE WAS SOBER!

    RESPECT & COMMUNICATION!
    This!

    If you think she has secret hidden fantasies that she is not telling you about, and she shows signs of them while drunk don't let her act on them while drunk. If she has not admitted it to you sober, then she is not ready to go there. There is no hurry, no need to rush. There will be future opportunities.

    As to "does it happen" ... yes, it does. It almost always leads to drama when both partners are not on the same page.

    At Hedo ... Drama = BAD.

    That kind of drama can ruin a trip for those involved and negatively impacts other people who witness it. It can really kill the mood for the evening for everyone who has to witness it.


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  8. #8
    Registered User chrisandlizvt's Avatar
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    Originally Posted by cande6964carl:

    Do not let her do anything she has told you she doesn't want. YOU are her protector, he keeper, she trusts you to ensure she does not do anything she said she didn't.

    IF she opens up and starts telling you things, while drunk, she wants to do that she never said before... put that in the rol-o-dex and say OK HONEY WE WILL TALK ABOUT IT TOMORROW! and DO NOT LET HER DO ANYTHING SHE DIDN'T WHEN SHE WAS SOBER!

    RESPECT & COMMUNICATION!


    Posted by hare2party:

    If you think she has secret hidden fantasies that she is not telling you about, and she shows signs of them while drunk don't let her act on them while drunk. If she has not admitted it to you sober, then she is not ready to go there. There is no hurry, no need to rush. There will be future opportunities.

    As to "does it happen" ... yes, it does. It almost always leads to drama when both partners are not on the same page.

    At Hedo ... Drama = BAD.

    That kind of drama can ruin a trip for those involved and negatively impacts other people who witness it. It can really kill the mood for the evening for everyone who has to witness it.
    This is incredibly good and important advice. I can't stress enough the importance of this statement....

    YOU are her protector, her keeper, she trusts you to ensure she does not do anything she said she didn't want to do.

    Trust, respect and communication are KEY. She needs to know she can count on you 100%.

    Liz
    Liz & Chris

  9. #9
    Registered User weliveinvegas's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbone69 View Post
    I'm wondering how many couples went to Hedo for the first time swearing and hoping that they had no intention of doing anything with other people, and then doing "things" because of the sexual atmosphere and letting their inhibitions down due to booze and other "stimulants".
    And then....there is us....we were in the lifestyle prior to visiting Hedo...been there done that...because our creed is "we gotta be friends first", in 8 previous trips, the only time we have played, unless the making out in the hot tub counts...and well...girls will be girls...is the year we went with friends from Vegas...neither of us go to Hedo looking to match body parts with others...

    I have to agree with Rob, if it hasn't been mentioned before, don't do it there...save the drama...

    Ivy and Rick
    "Once you go, you will know"

    Ivy and Rick
    "AWOL 2016, Let's Get Together"
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    Next Trip: Hedo II, 7/23 to 7/30, 2016

  10. #10
    Registered User Moorerotic's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by cande6964carl View Post
    At Hedo... NOT THE CASE!!!!
    Yes same couple, same drinking, same loss of inhibitions... NOT the same people as are at the bar! HEDO People are RESPECTFUL!!!

    I saw one girl who was VERY drunk and would have done anything, she "WANTED" to do things, BUT Hedo people realize she didn't really want to she was just drunk! Also HEDO people wouldn't take advantage of someone in that state of mind.
    Good post as usual, but a few things need to be clarified.

    This forum needs a glossary. Actually it might have one and I just don't know about it. There should be a distinction between "Hedo people" and "Hedo goer or guest".

    At any given time at Hedo there is going to be a mix of Hedo evangelists, loyalists, regulars, infrequent goers, once every ten years folks, first timers, and "one and done" folks.

    They are not all on the same page when it comes to RESPECT.

    The term HEDO PEOPLE should be read to mean that certain subset of Hedo goers that has a very strong loyalty and affection for the place. These are the "rising tide lifts all boats" folks who are very protective of all things Hedo.

    Depending on what day you are there, not everyone at the resort is going to be "Hedo people", and Hedo people may or may not be in the majority on your trip.

    As far as everyone else goes, there is no vetting process for going to Hedo other than having a valid credit card, and not being on a travel watch list.

    There are no respect classes you need to attend, and there is no test of basic human decency, and there is no sexual predator retina eye scan at the gate that you need to pass before going to Hedo.

    Sure "Hedo people" wouldn't take advantage of someone in that drunken uninhibited state of mind, but there are definitely "Hedo goers" who would gladly do so.

    I'm quite sure there are people who go to Hedo specifically looking for that drunk uninhibited person.

    That's why this is such a powerful quote, "YOU are her protector, her keeper, she trusts you..."
    Adversity is like a flame, it melts the weak but it tempers the strong.

  11. #11
    Registered User MaryW's Avatar
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    You know...in answer to the original question...yes it does happen. RARELY but it does.

    Like the woman we found locked out of her room at 3am by her raving drunk husband who was screaming and calling her a whore and took her wedding ring, purse, ID's/passport and wouldn't let her back in.

    She was crying her heart out saying..."I only did what he asked me to do"!!

    I am LOVING this:

    "YOU are her protector, her keeper, she trusts you..."

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    Registered User ozarkcpl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryW View Post
    Any time you think to change your limits it should always be well thought out and discussed beforehand. If someone starts to feel they've had a change of heart, it would be best to wait until you're straight - or if that's not a factor, wait until you "cool off" and think and talk with clear heads back in your room in private.

    I would hate to think someone spent time with me just because they were drunk...and later take a chance of regretting the experience. Especially if it meant the possibility of ruining a friendship which is more important than anything else.
    VERY well put Mary! I don't think the thought could have been better expained than you put it. This was a great reply all the way around and I think you hit the nail on the head! Jen
    Go Big Or Go Home!

  13. #13
    Registered User BLKCPLEJUSBROWS's Avatar
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    Let me add my two cents here ..first of all for us Hedo is a place where you can let go of your inhibitions and do some of the things that you always wanted to do but can't at home,like fuck outside or with the widows open or in front of others.And maybe you want to go further by having others join in without worrying about running into them at the wrong time or place (PTA Meeting or church,ect..)When we took our first trip to Hedo we talked in advance about pushing the envelope a little which we did and enjoyed very much.However we have not done anything close to that while back home.We are headed back to Hedo in August and our plan is to meet some nice folks and possibly push the envelope again, will we go further this time ...I don't know.. but what I do know is whatever myself and MrsBlkcple decide to do it will ultimatlely be her that has the final word ......Because "She has the Pussy and She Makes the Rules"

  14. #14
    Registered User Rebelwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by tbone69 View Post
    I'm wondering how many couples went to Hedo for the first time swearing and hoping that they had no intention of doing anything with other people, and then doing "things" because of the sexual atmosphere and letting their inhibitions down due to booze and other "stimulants".
    It does happen, I've seen it happen too many times. But I have to also say that it's usually a couple that wasn't honest with each other or prepared for it. Well over 90 percent of the people I have met and know from our 14 trips to Hedo have never had a big problem. Sure there's the little ones like I don't like you flirting with that girl/guy and stuff like that but arguements have been very few. If a couple knows their rules and sticks to them it's all good.

    The only time it's really trouble is when one side of the couple has a secret agenda. We have seen some pretty bad outcomes from that. One dumbass guy kept telling his wife she could be as wild as she wanted. So she decided to call his bluff. She had her first girl girl experience without him, then a multiple girl orgy, then two guys and then several men, all without him. He didn't handle it well at all.

    We started out saying we didn't want to ever swing or swap, and in 14 trips that has only changed to a point where we do occasionally have same room sex with another couple and while the girls are free to explore each other guys stay to their own mates. There was one experiment with some limited oral play with the other couple but it didn't work for us so it's not something we plan to repeat. It was something we talked about before hand and we both agreed so no worries and no fight just not something we enjoyed.

    It's a very complicated and personal choice to swing or not. I don't think it will hurt a strong and trusting relationship, but it will sure as hell destroy one that already has problems!
    Dave and Carolyn Jamaica Gemini's
    Because everyone has a naughty twin that comes out to play at Hedo!
    Oct 30th - Nov 7th 2009. Kink Week and Wild Women's Week.

  15. #15
    Registered User Rebelwolf's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by MaryW View Post
    oh wow! I hope that doesn't happen very often at all because letting your inhibitions down due to booze and "other stimulants" is the absolute wrong reason to do so.

    Any time you think to change your limits it should always be well thought out and discussed beforehand. If someone starts to feel they've had a change of heart, it would be best to wait until you're straight - or if that's not a factor, wait until you "cool off" and think and talk with clear heads back in your room in private.

    I would hate to think someone spent time with me just because they were drunk...and later take a chance of regretting the experience. Especially if it meant the possibility of ruining a friendship which is more important than anything else.
    As usual well said Mary. It's a hard and fast rule with us that the rules don't change at night while partying. If there's something she or I think might be okay to add to our Do List we talk about it after breakfast over coffee and juice, not drunk at the disco.
    Dave and Carolyn Jamaica Gemini's
    Because everyone has a naughty twin that comes out to play at Hedo!
    Oct 30th - Nov 7th 2009. Kink Week and Wild Women's Week.

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