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Thread: New to the Lifestyle

  1. #1
    Registered User
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    New to the Lifestyle

    Hi, I am a new member and new to the lifestyle. My girlfriend has been to a few clubs in the area in the past but we have not gone yet by ourselves, talked about it a few time but just haven't made the time yet.

    I am giving her a vacation in a combined birthday present and valentines day gift. We were looking at and trying to decide where to go and she threw out there the idea of going to hedo.

    What I was wondering is, is this a good idea for an introduction to the lifestyle. I am excited about the possibilities, but it would be a step outside the norm for me.

    Also we are looking at the dates of May 18-23 for the trip. I also noticed that they include scuba diving in the all-inclusive and since I am a diver, I thought that would be pretty cool.

    I know communication is the key to making this a success and think we do communicate very well about this. But, having never done this before, I also want to make sure I am asking the right questions and that kind of thing. I just don't want to turn something that should be fun and exciting, into a nightmare trip.

    Please let me know what you think.

  2. #2
    Registered User Amanda&Gradie's Avatar
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    We are heading to H3 Feb 12-22. This will be our first trip of this type, and from what we gather on this forum, Hedo is whatever YOU want it to be. No pressure to participate in anything you're not comfortable with, but the possiblities of...expanding your horizons definitely exist. We aren't going with any expectations other than to have a great time in a place where people just want to have fun. Read through the forums-there is a TON of great info in here! Happy reading
    Good friends will bail you out of jail, but your best friends will be in the cell with you saying "DAMN! that was FUN!"

  3. #3
    Hi newbiecouple and Welcome,Just one point we wanted to make because it seems to be a common misconception,Hedo is NOT a place that is full of swingers,The biggest thing to remember is that everyone there has bounderies or limits if you will,and to respect those limits is key...So with that said tell your significant other that Hedo is a great place to go and explore those idea's and at anytime can say stop and all will respect her for it,As stated in another post Hedo has two rules...
    1. Have Fun
    2.Be respectful (no matter what the situation)
    March 10-17 H3 Live Everyday Like It's Your Last!!

  4. #4
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    I agree completly...you can do what you want and have the absolute power to say No. I guarantee that in most circumstances there would be lots of persons to back anyone up to deal with someone who is up to no good. Go and have agreat time. Within a very short time you'll figure it all out and you will no doubt slide in to the Hedo frame of mind...t is very comfortable.
    B&C
    Last edited by BMJP; 02-08-2009 at 07:56 PM.

  5. #5
    Registered User Moorerotic's Avatar
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    Jan 2007
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    You need to MAKE THE TIME to visit the clubs in your area with your girlfriend.

    I don't know what it costs to go to those local clubs but I guarantee its cheaper than a trip to Hedo.

    Don't do your learning at Hedo, after you've dropped a few grand, if you have access to cheaper learning.
    Adversity is like a flame, it melts the weak but it tempers the strong.

  6. #6
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    That is what I was wondering. Unfortunately, work schedules and kid schedules don't allow much of an opportunity.

    What you say makes sense. Which is why I was trying to check things out before I dropped the money.

  7. #7
    Registered User Looshia's Avatar
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    We are not new to the lifestyle and are are only now considering Hedo (after about 1.5 years of being active in the lifestyle).

    I had my head spinning when we first took the plunge outside our marriage. And from what I understand Hedo is pretty crazy, even if you do have an open marriage/relationship.

    I think it would be a good idea to get your feet wet before you head out to Hedo.
    There is a lot of stuff you need to sort out and absorb, and being on a stable home ground might make it easier..

  8. #8
    Registered User Triplethefun's Avatar
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    it's all about what you've decided you feel comfortable doing.

    we are in the lifestyle AND went to hedo during MILF week, which is lifestyle based.

    Honestly, we didn't have sex with anyone else the whole week - we had a great time hanging out with people we already knew in the lifestyle and being nude most of the day, but we were up late and up early and busy doing a lot of things (like fucking each other multiple times a day) that it really wasn't an issue. We usually get to our club a couple times a year or make plans with another couple to meet somewhere, so it's not like Hedo would have been our first exposure to sex outside our relationship...but we also liked that IF WE FELT LIKE IT, we could have arranged something with someone else.

    do make sure that if you can't get to a club prior to going, that you have at least discussed how each of you feel and what you think your initial boundaries are...and how you'll be able to alter the boundaries once you're there.

    Someone said recently that they only change their rules when they are sober and NOT in the situation so that they can both clearly think about the impact it has on their relationship.

    we throw these kinds of things out in our talking all the time - for instance our most current discussion is about getting together with our favorite couple, except that our third will probably be at a bad time in her cycle....does that mean we don't meet with this couple at all until we can all play, do we still meet but she plays on the fringes instead of fully, do only two of us go and she stays behind? of course all three of us are involved in this discussion...and when we figure out where we feel comfortable, then we'll also ask the other couple what they'd like to do. That's 5 people to coordinate with but exponentially, not just individually.

    the lifestyle is not for sissies!

    aside from the great info on this board, here's another link on swinging that will get you started on some questions for each other. pull up a drink and a quiet evening after the critters are asleep and have fun discussing.

    http://www.swingersboard.com/forums/...aq=swinger_faq

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