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Thread: First Time... Surprise Wife??

  1. #1
    Registered User RobVermont's Avatar
    Join Date
    Aug 2008

    First Time... Surprise Wife??

    Hi Folks,
    I am a 42 yr old man and my wife is 37. We will be celebrating our 10th anniversary next September (09) and I am considering surprising my wife w/ a weeks vacation at Hedo (2 or 3, not sure).
    Neither of us have ever done anything like this, although I am nudist and she has gone to nude beaches a couple of times w/ me.
    We are not swingers and enjoy our typical 1 or 2 nights a week sex.
    My question/concern... Is this a good idea?
    There is alot of talk about discussing it w/ your partner before hand, laying out ground rules, etc. etc.
    I think this could be a very sensual trip for two partners who constantly put our relationship last due to life, kids, work etc. etc.
    Is it naive to think that she will open up enjoy herself and really get into the place?
    Is the surprise approach smart or stupid?
    Am I making a mistake by surprising her with this? I don't want a weeks worth of tears and "why did you bring me to this place".
    My wife is open minded and not a prude, but is outwardly conservative by nature. I think one of her biggest fears is "what others would think" or similar type of psychology.
    Are there any ladies here who were very skeptical, afraid, put off or didnt want to go when presented w/ the idea at first but loved it once they were there??
    I would appreciate the perspective of a woman in this situation if possible, but any advice is welcome.
    Rob in Vermont, USA

  2. #2
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Knoxville, TN
    I am 46 and my husband is 36. We spent our 10th anniversary in June of this year (2008) at Hedo II. We are also not swingers, but enjoy the freedom of the nude beaches. This was our first time at Hedonism, and we were very comfortable. It is a great place for EVERYONE no matter what your sexcual preference may be. Stay on the nude side and spend time in the nude pool to truly enjoy your stay. Everyone is very respectful of one another. I think you should definitely go and enjoy every minute. We planned our 11th anniversary trip to Hedo next year as soon as we got home and plan to make it an annual journey to "go back home" for every anniversary! I am a female, and I guarantee she will absolutely love it!! sucks! I never understood that until I returned to the states.

  3. #3
    Registered User Black Vulcan's Avatar
    Join Date
    Nov 2007
    Las Vegas
    This is actually Monieb (Black Vulcan's wife). I'd suggest at least putting out the feelers about this topic before booking. Asking questions like, "have you ever thought about going on vacation to a nude/clothing optional beach? What do you think about it?" Or asking how she'd feel about having sex in public or seeing others do so. If you get positive responses, then a surprise trip might be ok. If she seems really resistant, then you may have to forgo the surprise in order to get her accustomed to the idea (maybe by reading message boards, trip reports, etc).

    My husband and I are similar to you- not swingers/lifestylers, 1-2 night a week sex, but we definitely enjoy the sensual atmosphere of Hedo, the freedom of being naked, and the crazy, fun environment that Hedo provides. When I first went to Hedo (with a girlfriend), I was very apprehensive, and swore to myself that I wasn't going to get naked...and was nude within hours of arriving at the resort. The Hedo magic and people really work wonders!

    Good luck, and feel free to ask any other questions you might have! Welcome to the boards, too!

    "Are You Feeling Hedo's Mojo Yet?"
    Hedonism II, April 21-28, 2012

  4. #4
    Registered User tamnrudy's Avatar
    Join Date
    Mar 2006
    Maybe you could "accidentally" run across this or Denny's website and show it to her...let her read a few of the funny trip reports...ours from May 2006 is pretty good... then ask her what she thinks of going to a place like that. Get on with her and post some questions together about whatever concerns there are.

    The bottom line is you know her better than anyone...put yourself in her would she react if you got off the plane in Jamaica and said "GUESS WHAT!?"

    Here is link to the TR at Denny's:
    Last edited by tamnrudy; 08-19-2008 at 02:00 PM. Reason: forgot to add link....
    "Well, itís a sad, sad situation. Now I need a goddamn vacation."
    - Jaret Reddick/Bowling for Soup

  5. #5
    Registered User sunshineRay's Avatar
    Join Date
    Apr 2008
    Texas, baby!
    WOW, if my husband surprised me w/ a Hedo vaca, I would be THRILLED! We're going for our virgin voyage in October. Like others have suggested, maybe you can do a little re-con as to whether she may even be up for it. But if she's already spent any time on a nude beach, well, I think you have your answer. Again, I really commend you for even thinking about planning a surprise vaca. GOOD LUCK!!!

  6. #6
    Registered User born2bnekkid's Avatar
    Join Date
    Jun 2007
    upstate NY
    We have been to both resorts (we like 3 better) but for the most part, people are very respectful of whatever you want your vacation to be. You will find everything from prudes to nekkid swingers. You will also find that most people will take a "no thank you" when you are not interested in doing something and then sit and talk to you for hours anyway! I think the main reason people say to talk to your spouse is because once there with the alcohol flowing freely, the sexual circumstances you will see, the sexy theme nights....well, it's easy to cross lines you didn't even know were there if you haven't talked. Jealousy can be an issue for some people, just the harmless flirting that goes on can upset some people. That's why it's a good thing to talk about it. If however, you aren't looking for any sexual experiences other than with your wife and you don't think she would ever be looking either, it might be ok to surprise her if you knew how she felt about a hedo type vacation. Maybe you could tell her that you heard about this great resort from some friends and find out how she would feel about it...telling stories that the friends have told you may open up discussion without her knowing what you are planning.

  7. #7
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Jul 2008
    My husband and I have been going to HEDO 3 since they opened and went to Hedo 2 the year before that ( a total of 13 years) We prefer Hedo 3 and yes I was very unsure my first time , but as you can see we had the best experince of our life !! You can do whatever you are comfortable with. You can watch, be watched or participate. Most of the wild stuff happens at night ( at the nude hottub) If your wife is uncomfortable she might not want to go there. But even with that said you can go there and just be into each other. We are also not swingers but we like to watch and be watched. I would say to talk to her about especially if she is one to be into the theme nights. I usually start shopping for our next trip as soon as we get back. We will be going to Hedo 3 for our 30 anniversary in March!!! It definitly is the place to rekindle.

  8. #8
    Registered User
    Join Date
    Aug 2008
    If you believe the PDA will not bother her, we'd say do it.

    We've only been once with the Hellians and found PDA to be kept at a minimum. We stayed in the quad and once, found we were enjoying talking with others there, we had to be told that at one end we were missing a display. LOL The only other time there was an overt PDA it was easy to avoid if you didn't care to watch. There was one couple who had even asked permission of others if it was ok if they played. Everyone thought that was such a cool thing and said you do your thing.

    We think that outsider's idea of PDA at Hedo is overrated. Those that we met just enjoyed vacationing in a party atmosphere while being in the nude. Most of the sexual antics were kept to rooms during the evening.

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