Our Trip Report of Hedonism III

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Our Trip Report

This was our first trip to Hedonism III. We actually booked this trip in January because we knew some people who had been there and told us it was a blast. We booked without any research whatsoever. After booking we began to read about everything. I don’t think there was a trip report anywhere that we didn’t read word for word. We posted on Denny P and a few other sites hoping to meet some people online before we got there. Not too long after posting we got an email to join a yahoo group that was going to be there the same week we were. We hopped right on that! Oh WOW….what a wonderful group of people. About the last 2 months or so of our wait for July we had Thursday night chats with the group, not to mention the numerous emails we all exchanged. We knew this was going to be a fun trip!!

It’s finally here!

After 7 long months of waiting it was time for us to leave. We packed every thing on every list we could find, needless to say…don’t do that….LOL It wasn’t necessary! Only things that really mattered were the BIG CUPS, the key lanyard, sunscreen, and the plastic baggies for out at the pool. Everything else wasn’t needed. Not even the bug spray that I packed 3 cans of because I hate bugs. No real problems there…well only one but that will be mentioned later! Ok ok…back to the story. We arrived in Greensboro at 5:30 for our 7:10 flight to Atlanta. Of course Brady was one of the chosen few to go through the complete search. That wouldn’t have been so bad except I had packed 9 disposable cameras in our carry on and they opened every single one of them and swabbed them for who knows what and that took forever. But we still had a while to wait for our flight. The flight to Atlanta was a quick 43 minutes then we had to wait for the flight to Montego Bay . I’m a smoker so I spent my time in a very nice smoking area, not like most of them at the Atlanta airport….this one was ok. So we finally board for Montego Bay!! WOOHOO!! The flight was uneventful so on to the Mobay airport. Immigration was backed up. We arrived right along with 3 other planes. The wait was about an hour and a half and boring other than the wonderful music from the welcome to Jamaica party that was singing when we entered. Once thru immigration and we were off to the SuperClubs waiting lounge. Quick and easy and now to wait for a bus. Ganja was offered on numerous occasions as we waited. We don’t partake but thought I’d let everyone know. A simple “No, Thank you” worked just fine.

The BUS

Now to the dreaded bus ride. I had read about everyones bus ride and I just have to be honest….there is no way to describe how bad this was…or maybe how fun it was…LOL We were on dirt, then pavement, then dirt, then the shoulder of the road, then passing everything, then we dodged small children, goats and cows. Our driver was entertaining pointing out different houses and telling us a little history. Then we were on this really nice stretch of highway, he told us it was the new road….well that lasted about a mile….yep, that’s it…..one mile of new road then back to the dirt, and gravel, etc. Towns looked poor and people looked poor. Made us really grateful for what we have here in the States. We made a Red Stripe stop at a little bar. I was hoping we wouldn’t but was really grateful when we did. I needed a drink and a break from the bus seat. Brady was ready for a beer, which would be his last one for the week. He won’t drink Red Stripe so he savored that Miller Lite….LOL Then back on the bus for another hour or so of bumps and dodging the little living creatures. But we made it to Hedo III and never hit a thing!!

Check in at Hedo III went pretty smoothly but we had not brought our receipt with us. We were supposed to be in the 500 Garden View Au Naturel Building but I had called in before we left and requested a ground floor room. Well we got there and the only ground floor room they had was in the 600 building…..room 614….OMG it was awesome…we walked straight out the French doors to the nude pool. It was perfect. We got lucky because we heard that on Thursday (we arrived on Saturday) that they had bumped several people over to Breezes. First thing we wanted was to find something to eat. The “snack” on the plane was long gone and we had not eaten at all so our luggage guy gave us a quick tour for a small tip, we dropped our bags off and headed to the Scotch Bonnet. The food was great or either we were starving either way after we ate it was time to go check out what we went there for THE NUDE SIDE! Brady said just do it, well it wasn’t that easy for me. I had to check it all out first. I looked out the window and saw that the banner for our yahoo group was hanging over the bar…THE HEDO LAYS. So we figured someone was out there that we had chatted with for the last 7 months. So I stripped down and wrapped a sarong around my waist and off we went. First thing we see is a couple sitting at that bar waving at us. They didn’t look like any pics we had seen of those who had posted with our Yahoo group…but oh well….so I head over..”hey there, we are Brady and June, who might you 2 be?”. Well…heres the shocker…the man just looks at me and says..YOU CANT BE OUT HERE WITH THAT SARONG ON!!!
Well I gotta be honest, Im a BIG girl and I wasn’t quite ready to let it all hang out and at that moment I was ready to go home!! All we had read was how nice everyone was and how they gave first timers a little time to adjust. Here we had been out there all of 3 Minutes and I was being told to strip! Well just so happens, someone else I had been chatting with heard me introduce myself to them and he came over and we chatted a while and I had 34 ounces of Jamaican Delight so off came the sarong, I avoided the “mean” people and all was well…….LOL It wasn’t too bad…after 15 minutes no one notices anyways! Well Saturday consisted of talking to people from our group and drinking a mixture of hummingbirds, dirty bananas, Jamaican delights, and Purple Rains. Brady isn’t a liquor drinker but he got right friendly with the dirty bananas and was content!! We turned in fairly early because we were totally exhausted and wanted to be ready for our 4 full days at Hedo!!

Sunday and Monday
These 2 days are pretty much one in the same…tan ….drink…..talk….body paint (Brady won a bottle of Rum), Naked Slide Runs….nap….tan…..drink…talk. We had dinner at Pastafaris and lunch at the pool bar. Great burgers, chicken and nachos!!! The activities were cool too…body painting was a lot of fun although hard to wash the white and red paint off. Nude slide run was great too….we went with a whole group from the nude side…had a “woowoo” shot in the prude pool then streaked our butts up to the slide and zoomed down!! This was awesome!!! The trivia games were cool too…We won enough tokens for more liquor. We then went to get ready for dinner and after dinner we went over to the Piano bar and the piano player is hilarious. We know his name is Glenn but he told us it was “Oh Shit Sticky Keys” and we believed that too….LOL If you don’t want to be embarrassed, don’t sit too close to the end of the bar…Brady got the lucky seat and “Oh Shit” had him singing “Song Sung Blue”. It was a lot of fun and was one of our favorite places. We did a toy exchange with everyone in the HEDO LAYS on Sunday night and Monday night was glow night. We dressed for this and went over to the Disco but I think most everyone was in the Piano Bar and I wasn’t dressed for there so we didn’t go over. We ventured back over to the nude hot tub which was way too hot. So we just swam around a while and talked to few people then headed off to put the mirrored ceiling into use! Hehe The water situation was like this…..hot water in the mornings, none at night. It was like that the whole time we were there. We would take our showers first thing in the mornings and then in the evenings we did the jump in jump out thing. Wasn’t great but wasn’t a huge problem either. PDAs were pretty prominent at night. We saw lots but unless you were in the hottub or in the vicinity of it, there wasn’t much going on other places. We never ventured to the beach because a friend of ours was stung by an urchin so we kept our distance from there. We weren’t taking any chances. Now for the “bug” story…..some people in our group were getting married on Monday so we walked over to the Gazebo. There were a lot of us gathered over there so I stepped off the sidewalk and there was a tree leaf on my shoulder that was harboring a nasty ant of some sort. It bit me right below my shoulder near my chest. I grabbed it…squished it and went on about my business…well within minutes there was a huge “line” not a bump but a line about an inch and a half long and about ¼ inch across that was burning like crazy. I had no idea what it was so of course the worst was running through my head! The nurse was no where in site so it was Tuesday morning before I found her. She gave me some thick yellow cream (who knows what??!!) and within a short time it was gone all but a tiny little bite mark….that still itches today (a week later). Vicious little Jamaican ants!!! But all in all Sunday and Monday were spent just lounging at the pool and hanging out.

Tuesday

I guess Tuesday is the day we were looking most forward to of the whole trip. Since Brady’s racing schedule was going to keep us from being there for Toga Thursday we had planned to make PJ night “our night” but first we had to make it through the day. Now we are both all for being lazy and playing games at the pool but we figured we had done that the past 2 days so we needed to get out for a while since we aren’t sure when we will make it back to Jamaica. We signed up for the Ocho Rios shopping trip…;.3 hours, but a welcome break from the rut we had found ourselves in. We both drink but we needed an alcohol break if nothing else….LOL We highly recommend this trip. Its only about a 30 min drive into Ocho Rios. Our cab driver was great. He told us a lot about the history and pointed out things to us. We stopped at a little “plaza” for 30 min and picked up a few things for our daughter and our co workers then we were off to a larger plaza for an hour. The last 30 minutes of our trip he took us to the Margaritaville Café in the Island Village. We are HUGE Buffett fans so this was a thrill. We have been to the original in KeyWest then getting to go to this one in Ocho Rios and knowing we would see the one in MoBay when we were leaving made this shopping trip for us worthwhile!!! 2 Margaritavilles in one trip doesn’t happen often!! We came back to the resort feeling refreshed from our ventures and prepared for dinner at Munasan. Excellent food!!! We can’t say this enough EXCELLENT. Then we hopped over to the Piano Bar for a drink or 5 before heading back to our room to dress for the PJ Party! Once again…Piano Bar…Highly entertaining!!!!
We go back to our room to get ready for the Disco. I had planned us a “couples” costume. Since I am a big girl I just don’t think I carry “sexy” very well so I went for the cute little girl look…LOL Im 34 and Brady is 36. I decided every little girl needed a puppy….so while I adorned my “dolly” outfit complete with ruffle socks and patent leather shoes, Brady had a full body harness with dog collar and leash, Dalmatian dog ears with tail and knee pads so he could walk on all 4’s!!!! It was hilarious!! We had a blast!! We didn’t win as a couple but we both won in separate categories…I won 1st place in most Virginal( Brady said they said Most Original, but it sounded like virginal to me) and Brady won 3rd place in Bondage. I got a bottle of Rum Cream and Brady got a bottle of Over Proof Rum. Funniest thing was the pictures everyone wanted to take of the “doggie”, doing things “doggie style”. It wasn’t easy to convince this man of mine to wear this crazy outfit, but he had a blast and I think everyone around us did too….or either they just thought we were nuts!! After the disco, which had to have been 100 degrees, we made our way out to the Hot Tub to check on the “games”. As usual…lots of participants. We didn’t hang out long…..it had been a long day and we wanted to make the most of Wednesday since it would be our last day there so we turned in around 3 am. But oh what a GREAT day Tuesday was!!!!!

Wednesday
We didn’t get up until about 8 but I woke Brady up about 6 to put our towels and cups out on a chair, this I recommend also as everyone has the same idea and chairs in a good position can be hard to come by. Towels weren’t too hard to get a hold of though so I wouldn’t worry about taking your own! We made our way to breakfast and then out to the nude pool. Assumed our position at the “pussy fountain” which when not turned on makes a great table and soon we were joined by most of the Hedo Lays. We stayed here until the announcement of the Quad Invasion for which we were more than happy to join in on. At the quad and it being our last day we participated in the Body Shots…hehe….this is great and then I hauled my butt up on the Pussy Fountain where “Romeo” must have felt sorry for me and came over to give us some excellent photo opportunities!! I can’t wait to see those!! We filled up the floating bar and hung out with the Hedo Lays until it was time to get ready for our last dinner at Munasan. As usual it was excellent, our cook wasnt as entertaining as the first night we were there but we still had a great time and met some more really nice people!! We went over to the Piano Bar afterwards but it was empty….no action until 10:30 so Brady figured it was a good time to sit out near the Prude Bar…take in the last sounds of Jamaica and enjoy his Cuban cigar. Well he enjoyed that and quite a few Tequila Sunrises and about midnight he was ready for a nap. I knew Thursday would be along day with all the travel so I was ready to take a nap too. To bed we went and Thursday arrived way too soon!!

Thursday was a long day. We left Hedo III after a great farewell from our Hedo Lay friends and the bus ride was better this time because we were traveling with our new friends who were leaving then too! We hung out with them at the airport and had lunch at the Margaritaville Café in the Mobay airport! Another highlight to our trip…2 Cafes in one trip to Jamaica!! The ride home was good. I was glad to be back although another few days in Hedo would have been nice!

To Sum it all up!
Did we enjoy our trip to Hedo III?? Yes we did, we had some great fun, some much needed relaxation and met some wonderful people whom we hope to stay in touch with for years to come. Will we go back? Yes we will, but not in the near future. We don’t see it as a place we want to go to year after year as there are many many more beautiful resorts we would like to visit, even if we can’t get naked and go down a slide. Hedonism III was a place where we could just let go and be us. There is no “status” there. Whether you make $50,000 a year or $500,000 a year, if you weigh 120 pounds or 320 pounds…no one cares. It was all about friends and good times and we definitely had both!!
In closing we would like to thank everyone in “THE HEDO LAYS” that helped make our vacation so special!! Hope to meet up with you all again!!!