Under what circumstances . . .

[jwell100]

Assuming that he/she wanted to, under what circumstances, if any, would you "allow" your significant other to "play" with a member of the opposite sex at Hedo?

Obviously, at Hedo that are a lot of things that do occur that do not occur at home. In May, for example, my s.o. (she) painted two guys in areas that are not typically painted and was the body for a body shot with another guy. I had no problem with any of this and viewed it more as adult fun, rather than somehow violating the vows of marriage. In Hedo's sexually charged environment, these activities almost seemed normal.

Would you let him/her going beyond this? Hand job, Oral, etc. and, if so, what are the rules. Never done this before, so for those of you who have thought this out or experienced it, please share.

Thanks.

[Rich&Dawn]

1st trip to hedo III is less than 2-weeks away. we're lifestyle curious - more my fetish than hers but she'd be a willing participant.

really- hand jobs are nothing - who cares about them.

oral probably will happen but not guaranteed.

if the circumstances are right and if the right guy is there and he makes her feel special, he can make love to her in front of me (my all time fantasy) - video of course for my use in the future. what happens in hedo stays in hedo as far as that behavier at home.

if that happens on our trip great - but honestly if it doesnt and its just the wife and i having fun, relaxing, drinking and smoking (420 for me) and we only have sex with each other - then that is perfectly fine too.

cant wait.

[Rich&Dawn]

and according to my wife - if the right woman is there its all on for me as well - which is nice : )

[Notsureyet]

Pretty much anytime. To me, it's a win/win situation.

First win.....
If someone was to excite my wife to the point of wanting to play, it would be a big turn on for me, and a fantastic ego booster for her. I truly believe it would help with self esteem issues knowing that she has found someone attracted to her other than the same guy she has chosen to be with for over 30 years. So long as he treats her in a matter acceptable to her, I would hope that she would enjoy the occurance, and benefit from it by maybe learning a little something that she can bring back to our relationship. After 30 years, I am not worried about her running away with the pool boy, believe me.

Second win...

If she has a good time, I'll bet we'll have a good time afterwards.

As far as rules go, that is the only thing we are clear about right from the start.
1. Hetrosexual contact only.
2. Must be respectful.
3. Must be out in the open.
4. Protection, protection, protection.
5. Full concent from all parties involved prior to starting anything.
6. No matter what happens (or does not happen), I will always love you and I will be comming home with you.
7. Sex is sex, and love is love.

I think that covered most everything that we had talked about. We have worked on this for almost 2 years, and are pleased with the level of communication it has given us. Along with everything else that has benefited from this.

Peter

[Rich&Dawn]

Very Well Said

Pretty much anytime. To me, it's a win/win situation.

First win.....
If someone was to excite my wife to the point of wanting to play, it would be a big turn on for me, and a fantastic ego booster for her. I truly believe it would help with self esteem issues knowing that she has found someone attracted to her other than the same guy she has chosen to be with for over 30 years. So long as he treats her in a matter acceptable to her, I would hope that she would enjoy the occurance, and benefit from it by maybe learning a little something that she can bring back to our relationship. After 30 years, I am not worried about her running away with the pool boy, believe me.

Second win...

If she has a good time, I'll bet we'll have a good time afterwards.

As far as rules go, that is the only thing we are clear about right from the start.
1. Hetrosexual contact only.
2. Must be respectful.
3. Must be out in the open.
4. Protection, protection, protection.
5. Full concent from all parties involved prior to starting anything.
6. No matter what happens (or does not happen), I will always love you and I will be comming home with you.
7. Sex is sex, and love is love.

I think that covered most everything that we had talked about. We have worked on this for almost 2 years, and are pleased with the level of communication it has given us. Along with everything else that has benefited from this.

Peter

[jwell100]

7. Sex is sex, and love is love.

Peter

I agree with this so long as everyone knows what is going on. After our first trip in May, seeing what we saw and doing what we did, there is a clear division between sex and love. I am just curious having never done this stuff.

Rich - Agree that a hand job is no big deal for him or her. If a body shot is o.k., which is essentially oral, why not a hand?

Thanks for posting

[FlipUni]

Well, Uni and myself have thought this through and discussed with each other, and the conclusion was basically the same as "NotSureYet"s post. With the only addition that if you had a particularly enjoyable "playtime" you had to tell the other one ALL about it in full sordid detail - perhaps with the help of diagrams, flowcharts and re-enactment where necessary.

Seriously though, we know we love each other, and we just want to enjoy our time, if it is with ourselves, or with others - what does it matter? We know whom we will be waking up next to in the morning, that is what matters.

[Solstyce]

Some of you know my hubby's and my stand on this subject. When we play with other people, it's just that- play. Not love, not marriage, not commitment, etc. We have been swinging for about 3 years and if anything, it has realllllllllly strengthened our marriage and increased our self confidence!

[JAnewbies]

I would be cool with her lending a handjob. Whether or not she would do it, is another thing and would be up to her. I know as far as comfort levels, that's "lame" in Hedo terms and not really sticking my neck out there as far as donating to the "sex pool," is concerned, but you asked and I am being honest. I have a separate fantasy that involves her and guy, but it doesn't involve intercourse. You would think (based on what I have already said) that I would be the one that needed to be talked into this one, but it's actually me who is for it the most.

I watched her give and take on all levels in a g/g on our last trip and though that's NOT your question here, I was OK with it. Not "lottery winning thrilled," but more than just OK with it. I guess that lends to the "if it's g/g, it doesn't count" theory, which in reality I think is BS, but in our situation at the time, I was cool with it. I won't submit the normal lengthy JA post and bore you with my "full thoughts" on that one.

With the opposite sex though, the stakes ARE higher I think. I think she would be fine with me receiving a handjob, or oral, but may not like to see me give it. Some view "giving" as higher on the scale and some view "receiving" higher on the scale. She would rather see me receive than give and I would rather see her give than receive. I would worry more about her receiving it and liking it more than my ego could handle, where she would worry about me giving it and liking it more.

We are an unusual set of circumstances in this area. It's a good question and it's good that you brought it up.

[itsmykncin]

Solstyce and Rich & Dawn pretty much covered it! And Lord knows talking about it afterwords is the best. And G/G totally count



Nov. 1-8 Hedo bound.....

[BLKCPLEJUSBROWS]

MrsBlkcple and I talked about this ironically at the reggae cafe we agreed no penetration with others basically just touching ,we had met some people I know we were both attractted to so we set the ground rules ,now honestly I could go for it all her with other guys or women and me with other women(Savanah in particular)but we did lay down the rules.We played withnsome people in the quad pool ,MrsBlkcple with a group of sexy women then MrsBlkcple stroked off 2 hung guys as I fucked her in the hot tub .I bring this all up because it seems to me it is all about setting boundaries and sticking to them .We had a great time and came away with no regrets just great memmories

[mustangranch68]

We are going for the 1st time in Nov. We also share in touchy feely playing with others is okay. I (her) am okay with g/g stuff. Not interested in oral or penetration with a guy until we feel really comfortable with another couple and we discuss it AFTER meeting them, so it would be after the 1st time we played. maybe more, depends on the couple....

Great topic!

[steve57]

Pretty much anytime. To me, it's a win/win situation.

First win.....
If someone was to excite my wife to the point of wanting to play, it would be a big turn on for me, and a fantastic ego booster for her. I truly believe it would help with self esteem issues knowing that she has found someone attracted to her other than the same guy she has chosen to be with for over 30 years. So long as he treats her in a matter acceptable to her, I would hope that she would enjoy the occurance, and benefit from it by maybe learning a little something that she can bring back to our relationship. After 30 years, I am not worried about her running away with the pool boy, believe me.

Second win...

If she has a good time, I'll bet we'll have a good time afterwards.

As far as rules go, that is the only thing we are clear about right from the start.
1. Hetrosexual contact only.
2. Must be respectful.
3. Must be out in the open.
4. Protection, protection, protection.
5. Full concent from all parties involved prior to starting anything.
6. No matter what happens (or does not happen), I will always love you and I will be comming home with you.
7. Sex is sex, and love is love.

I think that covered most everything that we had talked about. We have worked on this for almost 2 years, and are pleased with the level of communication it has given us. Along with everything else that has benefited from this.

Peter

If I didn't know better, I would think my husband wrote this. It's very "Hemingway"! However, I think we have a Venus & Mars thing going on here. Steve & I have had this exact conversation We've been married 27 years.

While I don't DISAGREE with what you say, I personally have no desire to have sex with anyone else. But I'm thinking that he's a man and bored with monogamy. I'm willing to play, but...

[Solstyce]

These responses are interesting. I have never understood the g/g aspect and I'm a girl! I don't understand what would be fun for the guy to sit on the sidelines and watch quietly? Girls- do you really want this? Wouldn't it be more fun if the guys joined, at least a little bit? I am bi and I do like doing sexy things with girls but on the other hand there's gotta be a cock involved to keep me happy. Anyone else feeling this?

[Uniflip]

With you 100%.

I have said in earlier thread - We are booked on a Wild Women vacation and that's all good, but why should I have all the fun while my partner watches? I certainly wouldn't like the boot to be on the other foot - with me watching him having fun but not joining in.

Our relationship is fair and honest. This follows through to our playtime too.

(Before i get reminded - I Will of course be sticking to the WW rules whilst at the suite parties )

(umm, thats if i get up enough courage to attend a suite party)