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Thread: Example of Patwa, DIF Mon !!

  1. #1
    Registered User Kelley's Avatar
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    Example of Patwa, DIF Mon !!

    A shameless cut and paste from my wife talking to online hedo buddies, Enjoy!!!

    Quote Originally Posted by Crossbones View Post
    This came from an email forwarded to me by a Jamaican friend a few years ago.
    Amusing...
    and good for brushing up on your patois since the trip is so close!
    (a couple of our tour guides spelled it like "patwa", hence the post title)

    "Jamaican people are different.... More Truthful words were never written!!!
    Mi deh yah ah tink and realize seh, Dere are sometings yuh woulda neva see we a
    do, hear
    we ah seh or even attempt fi try... Tek fir instance...

    Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb mountain wid flag and claim victory when dem reach
    di top?
    Yuh ever see we ah hang out inna di miggle of di Amazon jungle? Fi wa reason?

    Yuh ever see we a jump outta plane wid one parachute or a boast seh we going
    bungee
    jumping next Sunday?

    Yuh eva see we inna sea bout we looking fi di Great White Sharks? No sah we wi
    watch it
    pon TV.

    Yuh eva hear a J'can in ah Search & Rescue pan mountain. A mi sen dem up
    mountain?
    Dem find dem way up, dem fe find dem way dung again. Idiat dem! A nature way fe
    weed
    de weak and feed any hungry animal up deh!

    Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted house and
    asking..."Trevah yuh in deh?" If him foolish enuf fi go ina di haunted house him
    an di
    duppy dem caang fight it out in deh.

    Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh.."no honey...no need to cook rice and peas wid
    oxtail
    and a little chicken pon a Sunday......mek we order in a pizza nuh?" Try yu
    best.....not pon
    yu life.

    Yuh eva si a J'can man wearing tight pants or speedos on the beach? ahhhmm,
    errr,
    heeem...

    Yuh eva si a jamaican come a work an tell everbaddy dem bizniz how dem neva bade
    dis
    mawning, jus brush teet and wash face....

    Yuh eva si a jamaican wey luv talk ova ppl food, put dem face inna it an sey dat
    looks and
    smell good. No sah! Dat wi cause a fight.
    Yuh ever see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge, and go tek weh next person
    sangwige
    and nyam it off?

    Yuh ever hear Jamaican pickney tell dem madda fi shut up, and di madda go tek
    seat inna
    kitchen, tek out cigarette start smoke and seh she nuh know wah fi do wid di
    pickney? NO!
    One bax crass him face fi sure. An if dem live in New Yaak dem sen dem to
    Jamaica fi di
    Summer and den di adda relatives fix dem bizniz and dem go back wid mannaz.

    Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat outta fridge and stick it inna oven widout lickle
    seasoning?

    Yuh eva hear Jamaican inna di werkplace ah talk bout how much tiyme him wife mek
    him
    sleep pan di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she shut di door she expect
    im fi kick it
    open.

    Mi neva hear a Jamaican seh dem woulda rather put dem parents inna retirement
    home
    dan mek dem live wid dem. Only those who migrated to foreign lands (wi no stay
    so at all).

    Yuh eva see jamaican ppl a cook and dem stir di pot, taste di food and put di
    same spoon
    right back inna di pot an' nuh wash it off??

    Yuh eva si a jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad! Yuh eva see yawd
    ppl have
    dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? or dawg inna di couch, and when dawg get
    up
    go laydown inna di same couch inna di same spat? Yuh eva see yawd ppl kiss dem
    dawg
    pon di mout?

    Yuh eva hear seh yawd ppl tek 5 days off from work because dem cat died?

    Yuh eva hear a jamaican madda inna a store a tell dem pickney no sweetheart, you
    can't
    have that, please put it back on the shelf"... yuh will hear someting like
    dis..."lissen yah
    pickney, mi nah walk a street an' pick up money. put dung di blasted sweetie dem
    an' no
    badda mi peace tiday, hmmm"?

    Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk afta dem get pay pon Friday. All di manager dem
    a play
    domino round a back, not to mention ludo & draft.

    Jamaican and Proud of it!"
    Look for my Sept 1st-9th, 2007 H3 trip report coming soon.
    Last edited by Kelley; 09-16-2007 at 11:59 PM. Reason: text
    "Pirates are crude, vile, highly
    offensive creatures who compensate for their lack of knowledge and manners
    with debauchery. Now everyone can stop with nicey, nicey and start being Pirates!!! AARRRGGGGHHH! !!!!"

  2. #2
    Registered User SexInVegas's Avatar
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    www.speakjamaican.com/glossary.html

    Found this one day. Pretty cool but its like reading Japanese sometimes. Pick out some key phrases and practice. I think it would be great to bust some of these out on the staff or locals. They would probably say "Coo ya, casco!! Wa mek yu dweet fa?! Ease up". And I would say "huh"?
    SexInVegas
    www.SexInVegas.com
    HEDO III, I miss you...


  3. #3
    Registered User chrisandlizvt's Avatar
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    My favorite patois expression is (and I use it often at Hedo!) is, "Me bleach hard last night!" The guys at the watersports shack get a kick out of it when I say it...they know I party hard & they also know I'm already white as heck!

    Liz
    Liz & Chris

  4. #4
    Registered User Kelley's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by chrisandlizvt View Post
    My favorite patois expression is (and I use it often at Hedo!) is, "Me bleach hard last night!" The guys at the watersports shack get a kick out of it when I say it...they know I party hard & they also know I'm already white as heck!

    Liz
    So does that mean you had too much fun the night before? Or you had so much alcohol to drink that it "bleached" your skin, eyes, whatever? I know it's probably a local expression, but what exactly does it mean?
    "Pirates are crude, vile, highly
    offensive creatures who compensate for their lack of knowledge and manners
    with debauchery. Now everyone can stop with nicey, nicey and start being Pirates!!! AARRRGGGGHHH! !!!!"

  5. #5
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    I am Jamaican and to bleach hard last night means to have stayed up all night or most of the night.
    Usually it is used when you have said up because of having partied a lot but can be used in other contexts also.

  6. #6
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    Sorry for the mistake.

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