A shameless cut and paste from my wife talking to online hedo buddies, Enjoy!!!
Look for my Sept 1st-9th, 2007 H3 trip report coming soon.This came from an email forwarded to me by a Jamaican friend a few years ago.
Amusing...
and good for brushing up on your patois since the trip is so close!
(a couple of our tour guides spelled it like "patwa", hence the post title)
"Jamaican people are different.... More Truthful words were never written!!!
Mi deh yah ah tink and realize seh, Dere are sometings yuh woulda neva see we a
do, hear
we ah seh or even attempt fi try... Tek fir instance...
Yuh eva see Jamaicans a climb mountain wid flag and claim victory when dem reach
di top?
Yuh ever see we ah hang out inna di miggle of di Amazon jungle? Fi wa reason?
Yuh ever see we a jump outta plane wid one parachute or a boast seh we going
bungee
jumping next Sunday?
Yuh eva see we inna sea bout we looking fi di Great White Sharks? No sah we wi
watch it
pon TV.
Yuh eva hear a J'can in ah Search & Rescue pan mountain. A mi sen dem up
mountain?
Dem find dem way up, dem fe find dem way dung again. Idiat dem! A nature way fe
weed
de weak and feed any hungry animal up deh!
Yuh eva see a Jamaican acting pon big screen going into a haunted house and
asking..."Trevah yuh in deh?" If him foolish enuf fi go ina di haunted house him
an di
duppy dem caang fight it out in deh.
Yuh eva hear a Jamaican man seh.."no honey...no need to cook rice and peas wid
oxtail
and a little chicken pon a Sunday......mek we order in a pizza nuh?" Try yu
best.....not pon
yu life.
Yuh eva si a J'can man wearing tight pants or speedos on the beach? ahhhmm,
errr,
heeem...
Yuh eva si a jamaican come a work an tell everbaddy dem bizniz how dem neva bade
dis
mawning, jus brush teet and wash face....
Yuh eva si a jamaican wey luv talk ova ppl food, put dem face inna it an sey dat
looks and
smell good. No sah! Dat wi cause a fight.
Yuh ever see a Jamaican go inna di company fridge, and go tek weh next person
sangwige
and nyam it off?
Yuh ever hear Jamaican pickney tell dem madda fi shut up, and di madda go tek
seat inna
kitchen, tek out cigarette start smoke and seh she nuh know wah fi do wid di
pickney? NO!
One bax crass him face fi sure. An if dem live in New Yaak dem sen dem to
Jamaica fi di
Summer and den di adda relatives fix dem bizniz and dem go back wid mannaz.
Yuh eva see Jamaican tek meat outta fridge and stick it inna oven widout lickle
seasoning?
Yuh eva hear Jamaican inna di werkplace ah talk bout how much tiyme him wife mek
him
sleep pan di couch? Crazy tings dat, cause even if she shut di door she expect
im fi kick it
open.
Mi neva hear a Jamaican seh dem woulda rather put dem parents inna retirement
home
dan mek dem live wid dem. Only those who migrated to foreign lands (wi no stay
so at all).
Yuh eva see jamaican ppl a cook and dem stir di pot, taste di food and put di
same spoon
right back inna di pot an' nuh wash it off??
Yuh eva si a jamaican have dem dog a lick dem face? Yuh mad! Yuh eva see yawd
ppl have
dem dog sleep inna di same bed wid dem? or dawg inna di couch, and when dawg get
up
go laydown inna di same couch inna di same spat? Yuh eva see yawd ppl kiss dem
dawg
pon di mout?
Yuh eva hear seh yawd ppl tek 5 days off from work because dem cat died?
Yuh eva hear a jamaican madda inna a store a tell dem pickney no sweetheart, you
can't
have that, please put it back on the shelf"... yuh will hear someting like
dis..."lissen yah
pickney, mi nah walk a street an' pick up money. put dung di blasted sweetie dem
an' no
badda mi peace tiday, hmmm"?
Yuh eva see Jamaican do any wuk afta dem get pay pon Friday. All di manager dem
a play
domino round a back, not to mention ludo & draft.
Jamaican and Proud of it!"
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