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Thread: Lifestyle terminology question

  1. #1
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    Lifestyle terminology question

    I like to play. My husband is on the fence. When I broach the subject with friends who are couples, how do I say I am interested in participating but definately not intercourse without sounding like a newbie!
    "Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful ....Would you meet the sun and the wind with ...your skin..? For the breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.." Kahlil Gibran

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    Registered User NCcouple43's Avatar
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    Soft swap

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    Soft swap usually means no penile penetration, but most other things are on the menu. However, it's best just to be clear about what your boundaries are with people upfront, before play. Different people have different comfort levels for different kinds of play. Not everyone is full swap. People will respect your boundaries if you make them clear ahead of time. Don't do more than you both feel comfortable with. There's no hurry to get anywhere.

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    The other way to go is say you're "situational". It's a little less informative, but probably works better at least for your husband... depending on the situation, he may do nothing, but may want to do lots...

    One thing though... if you say you're situational and you actually want to play with them... you should follow up with an indication that you're attracted to them... if not, they may think you're not into them and not go anywhere.
    Hedo II - March 9-16, 2019
    Hedo II - WWV/Playful Pussycats - April 2017
    Hedo II - WWV/Hedo Amigos - March 2016

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    Quote Originally Posted by JuicyLucie View Post
    I like to play. My husband is on the fence. When I broach the subject with friends who are couples, how do I say I am interested in participating but definately not intercourse without sounding like a newbie!
    Are these friends in the lifestyle or are you looking to flip some who are "swing curious" vanilla?

    If they are in the lifestyle then they should know the lingo... "Soft play" or "soft swap" will be a clear starting point for the conversation.

    If they are new then there is little chance to "sound like a newbie", but ample opportunity to miscommunicate. Suggest the "soft" terms as above and then take the time to make sure all parties understand what that means.
    Last edited by Desert Dwellers; 04-16-2019 at 04:59 PM.
    Mikey and Diane

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    Is it stlll soft swap if hubby is away at the bar?

    Is it still called soft swap if only I show up to meet my Hedo couple friends in the play room and my husband stays behind at the bar?

    Thanks for the info, much appreciated everyone! I have Hedo friends of all descriptions and I want to have sexual contact with them ALL.... just don't want to be misunderstood . Your advice is helpful.
    "Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful ....Would you meet the sun and the wind with ...your skin..? For the breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.." Kahlil Gibran

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    Cool....Soft Play it is !

    Quote Originally Posted by Desert Dwellers View Post
    Are these friends in the lifestyle or are you looking to flip some who are "swing curious" vanilla?

    If they are in the lifestyle then they should know the lingo... "Soft play" or "soft swap" will be a clear starting point for the conversation.

    If they are new then there is little chance to "sound like a newbie", but ample opportunity to miscommunicate. Suggest the "soft" terms as above and then take the time to make sure all parties understand what that means.
    Now that I have looked more closely at your suggestion I see SOFT PLAY is what I am into until my hubby gets down off the fence anyways!
    "Your clothes conceal much of your beauty, yet they hide not the unbeautiful ....Would you meet the sun and the wind with ...your skin..? For the breath of life is in the sunlight and the hand of life is in the wind.." Kahlil Gibran

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