Different Sexual Desires

**popatop** · 05-28-2018, 12:14 AM

So my wife and I have been married for 33 years. Last year, we made our virgin trip to Hedo and we had a wonderful time. We're both comfortable with public nudity, and we engaged in our own PDA'S,
but sometimes we witnessed sexual acts that got too wild for her, while it turned me on.

I'm at the point in my life where I need things to spice up our sex life to get and keep my motor running, (like Hedo's sexy vibe) where as she would be happy with the two of us just spending alone time at a vanilla Resort.

So this year we're going to Couples, Negril (yawn), and we will head over to Hedo a couple days on passes so I can get some of my excitement fix!

We do communicate very openly and honestly. I was just wondering if there are other couples out there who may not be quite on the same page as far as sexual needs or desires for the both of you? How do you vacation to work around those differences while maintaining a healthy relationship?

**jchotcouple** · 05-28-2018, 07:30 PM

Not being on the same page as each other may cause problems. I am really hoping you are not saying you " need/want " more from your relationship. I have seen couples at hedo who although like the sexual excitement one partner wants more and bitterness and resentment follows. Hopefully someone on this forum has some positive advice on how to deal with your dilemma.

**JnD** · 05-28-2018, 08:54 PM

My advice is, if you love your wife and want a healthy relationship, cancel the day pass to Hedo. Making it a part of your activity is an unwise formula if sheis not into it. It's not worth a little thrill to risk what you have. You've both got to be at the same interest level for it to be a good idea.

**CopNkitten** · 05-28-2018, 09:41 PM

you could still go to hedo but spend time on the clothing optional side. if you (both of you) want more excitement, you can always go to the nude side. if it gets too much for her, go back to the clothing optional side.

**CopNkitten** · 05-28-2018, 09:42 PM

...

**popatop** · 05-28-2018, 10:48 PM

Originally Posted by jchotcouple

I have seen couples at hedo who although like the sexual excitement one partner wants more and bitterness and resentment follows.

Originally Posted by JnD

My advice is, if you love your wife and want a healthy relationship, cancel the day pass to Hedo.

We do have a wonderful relationship, and I do realize I need to be careful not jeopardizing what we have because I think I may want a little more thrill.
We had agreed on a split vacation this year, half to Couples, and half to Hedo as a compromise, but the price of a separate flight, and two separate resorts was really not worth the significantly higher cost.

It's just hard for me to get excited about Couples (and no PDA's) this year, when we got a chance to experience the vibe and PDA's at Hedo last year.

**dsquared** · 05-28-2018, 11:18 PM

Do your marriage a favor, don't do the day trips to HEDO. Focus on what is important to your wife. After a couple of trips to Couple, or Sandals, or some other vanilla resort, you might find that she will realize how painfully boring they are and agree to return to HEDO.
If you really want to go back to HEDO then do some research and find a week with less active groups in attendance. There will always be PDA's but some weeks are tamer than others, and if your wife feels uncomfortable then like Cop said, move over to the prude side for a while, or the rest of the week.

**flfitguy** · 05-29-2018, 05:45 AM

Originally Posted by jnd

my advice is, if you love your wife and want a healthy relationship, cancel the day pass to hedo. Making it a part of your activity is an unwise formula if sheis not into it. It's not worth a little thrill to risk what you have. You've both got to be at the same interest level for it to be a good idea.

yes yes yes!

**Riandsu** · 05-29-2018, 09:25 AM

My advice is, if you love your wife and want a healthy relationship, cancel the day pass to Hedo. It's time you realize those days are in the rear view mirror. Yeah 33 years is a good run and if you're interested in making it a few more years you have to come to grips with the fact that adventure, fun, excitement, variety and anything that is beyond the typical 1950's husband and wife relationship is gone. The days of youthful fun and daring sex have evolved into the run-of-the-mill, boring Mr & Mrs. Cul-du-sac, shopping for plants on weekends at your local Big Box store, a wild gin & tonic (maybe two!) before the Saturday night steak dinner is really all you two have left together to 'enjoy.' The first step in solving this non-symmetry within the relationship is to address it within your own mind and once you acknowledge this, it is time to move forward with action - or inaction in this case. Come to peace with the reality, move on, it's been a good run and make the most of the Couples resort and make the most of the rest of your predictable next 20 years!

**hotnshy** · 05-29-2018, 10:00 AM

Originally Posted by Riandsu

My advice is, if you love your wife and want a healthy relationship, cancel the day pass to Hedo. It's time you realize those days are in the rear view mirror. Yeah 33 years is a good run and if you're interested in making it a few more years you have to come to grips with the fact that adventure, fun, excitement, variety and anything that is beyond the typical 1950's husband and wife relationship is gone. The days of youthful fun and daring sex have evolved into the run-of-the-mill, boring Mr & Mrs. Cul-du-sac, shopping for plants on weekends at your local Big Box store, a wild gin & tonic (maybe two!) before the Saturday night steak dinner is really all you two have left together to 'enjoy.' The first step in solving this non-symmetry within the relationship is to address it within your own mind and once you acknowledge this, it is time to move forward with action - or inaction in this case. Come to peace with the reality, move on, it's been a good run and make the most of the Couples resort and make the most of the rest of your predictable next 20 years!

totally disagree. for women in general they would slowdown after 30 + years of marriage, men have two heads, the big one upstairs still active while the smaller one down under only respond to visual stimulants, I know , we have passed the 37 and still want to enjoy Hedo, now what to do there is another story. from being wild on the nude side in for the past 15+ years to the more tame on the prude side lately, taking a separate vacations is another way to each have their own fun if you both agree, but take dsquared's advice, its the best i have read in a while

**Habfan68** · 05-29-2018, 10:24 AM

Originally Posted by dsquared

Do your marriage a favor, don't do the day trips to HEDO. Focus on what is important to your wife. After a couple of trips to Couple, or Sandals, or some other vanilla resort, you might find that she will realize how painfully boring they are and agree to return to HEDO.
If you really want to go back to HEDO then do some research and find a week with less active groups in attendance. There will always be PDA's but some weeks are tamer than others, and if your wife feels uncomfortable then like Cop said, move over to the prude side for a while, or the rest of the week.

That is great advice. If you are going to Couples Negril, make sure to visit the nude beach area which should help with the Hedo withdrawal for you a little. Don't plan or try to convince her to go to Hedo on a day pass, hopefully the boredom of a vanilla resort will make her want to suggest it. Enjoy your vacation time together with your wife. Those times together are the most important thing. ☺

**Habfan68** · 05-29-2018, 10:25 AM

Originally Posted by dsquared

Do your marriage a favor, don't do the day trips to HEDO. Focus on what is important to your wife. After a couple of trips to Couple, or Sandals, or some other vanilla resort, you might find that she will realize how painfully boring they are and agree to return to HEDO.
If you really want to go back to HEDO then do some research and find a week with less active groups in attendance. There will always be PDA's but some weeks are tamer than others, and if your wife feels uncomfortable then like Cop said, move over to the prude side for a while, or the rest of the week.

That is great advice. If you are going to Couples Negril, make sure to visit the nude beach area which should help with the Hedo withdrawal for you a little. Don't plan or try to convince her to go to Hedo on a day pass, hopefully the boredom of a vanilla resort will make her want to suggest it. Enjoy your vacation time together with your wife. Those times together are the most important thing. â˜º

**D and C** · 05-29-2018, 10:43 AM

Bear in mind there is not usually any entertainment past 9 or so at Couples and a lot of people leave the resort for local bars.

**cococutie** · 05-29-2018, 02:35 PM

My suggestion is to find a thrill your wife enjoys as well, or reconnect with her in new ways to find the thrill with her. You are 33 years deep. There are so many layers to your love. Why insist on something like this? Make wifey happy, and find something you both will enjoy and get a thrill from.

**Rebel** · 05-29-2018, 06:04 PM

exactly. Make sure both of you are happy with whatever it is you do. With the wide range of possibilities why not find those that satisfy both and are comfortable with?