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Thread: I'm just going to come right out and ask a blunt question!

  1. #1
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    I'm just going to come right out and ask a blunt question!

    Ok guys, here is the deal:

    We are both new to this(Hedo and lifestyle), but very excited! Because we are new, we still have some boundaries that we want to adhere to: no unprotected sex. no unprotected oral. Lastly, the wife is still not 100% comfortable with me having intercourse and so I'm absolutely not going to do that if she's not comfortable. She's cool with touching, kissing of breasts, fondling, etc...but just not ready to see me do the other with a woman.

    Those are some pretty strict boundaries at a place like Hedo or in a hobby like this. Are we going to have a hard time finding some great people to fool around with assuming the personalities and chemistry are right? Would that cause a couple to nix you and move on?

    New and trying to figure this out before the trip! Thanks for the feedback!

  2. #2
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    That’s more the norm. You will love it!

  3. #3
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    Have been in the lifestyle for a bit and I suspect you will be fine. Most of the clubs we play at (have not yet been to H2) are pretty friendly. Just use your big words with other couples and communicate early and often about some of the things you like (and not like) to do.

  4. #4
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    Ok thanks for the feedback guys! We were new enough to not know what questions to ask. Now we are starting to figure out which questions to ask. lol

  5. #5
    Registered User luv2btouch's Avatar
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    Everybody at Hedo has different wants and you should not worry at all about your boundaries. Plus, a lot of fun can be had at 2nd base!

    Like Robt4513 says, communicate and don't be afraid to stop a situation if either of you think it's crossing a boundary.
    Hedo 1st trip - March 25, 2017 - April 1, 2017 with Swing Into Spring (Char Travel)
    Hedo 2nd trip - March 23, 2018 - March 31, 2018 with Swing Into Spring (Char Travel)

  6. #6
    Registered User MikeCarrie's Avatar
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    You are going to have preconceived notions of what it will be and what it should be. Its all wrong. Go and be yourselves and do what you want and dont do what you dont want. You are going to have a blast!
    Mike & Carrie

    Going since 2012

  7. #7
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    Thank you all for your answers. I've also received private messages from some couples assuring us that they have very similar boundaries. So our way of thinking certainly isn't unusual or very odd. Based on how helpful and friendly people are on this forum I know we are going to have a complete blast at Hedo! People are usually nicer in person than on a forum, and I've had NOTHING but great experiences here. I can't imagine how much friendlier and helpful people will be when we meet in person!

    Feel free to PM us if you are going to be there the last week of March and want to chat a little and compare notes ahead of time. Sooo looking forward to this vacation!

  8. #8
    We went to just be naked and have fun together. Wife ended up kissing and getting fingered in the hot tub by another women. The couple wanted more but knew we were not ready for that so we all just drank and talked all night. They never got mad or forced anything with us. Communicate and all will be well. We the best time ever. Wife wants to go back already.

  9. #9
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    All I can say is ... COMMUNICATION & HONESTY with your partner are key!!!!
    Communication with others who you may be interested in and/or are interested in you guys is key, as well.
    Go, have fun, relax, do what makes you and your wife happy & comfortable...no more.
    (OH...and in my humble opinion, unprotected sex is a HUUUUGE no-no!!)

  10. #10
    Registered User magjoy's Avatar
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    Nothing is odd about this at all... the only issue I forsee is having stuff on-hand for oral sex by the pool. Go and have fun, the rest will fall into place, definitely stick with what's in your comfort zone. One rule I had with my ex husband is no discussing changing rules or new rules until we're sober and out of the situation being discussed. Our rules and boundaries definitely changed and evolved over the years, simply because stuff comes up that a; we didn't think about or b; our comfort level of things changed. **Sometime the comfort level wasn't in a positive way but rather reigning it in.
    One thing that was helpful was how to work your way out of a situation or communicate that you're not comfortable in the situation with key words. I remember last year, my 1st trip solo, I had key words and phrases around my friends that basically meant "I'm in deep shit, will you get me out of here!" or simply "I'm not comfortable with what's going on so I'm going to go get a drink" with out it being obvious. Just because I"m uncomfortable doesn't make it wrong, just means I need to remove myself from what's going on with out being a dick about it and ruining it for everyone who's having fun.

  11. #11
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    Thanks guys! Great insight!

  12. #12
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    Nothing wrong with having limitations rules and different comfort levels ever. The only difference I found at Hedo was how easy it is to discuss it with other people. Don't be shy, and let people know what you are and are not comfortable with. You will have a great trip.

  13. #13
    Registered User clary1's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Tryinit View Post
    Nothing wrong with having limitations rules and different comfort levels ever. The only difference I found at Hedo was how easy it is to discuss it with other people. Don't be shy, and let people know what you are and are not comfortable with. You will have a great trip.
    This is what I like most about H2. In vanilla world it's difficult to talk openly. At H2 I like to watch, be watched and communicate freely with naked open minded people.

  14. #14
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    Quote Originally Posted by clary1 View Post
    This is what I like most about H2. In vanilla world it's difficult to talk openly. At H2 I like to watch, be watched and communicate freely with naked open minded people.
    We are so looking forward to it!

  15. #15
    Registered User magjoy's Avatar
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    I for one love that people are more open about their adventures in the lifestyle. While I'm relatively vanilla compared to a lot of swingers I know, it's interesting to hear what they've got going on.

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