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Thread: New experience - seeking thoughts and advice

  1. #1
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    New experience - seeking thoughts and advice

    This will be written as anonymous as possible and I also apologize the the length. My spouse and I are taking our first trip to hedo. Never been to nudist resort or tried swinging. Of course the trip has us thinking of things that never before came up. Spouse indicates they are not open to swinging. But from the tone and circumstance of the answer, I sense some wavering. Almost like saying no, thinking any other answer would upset me and admittedly my response is the same for the same reason. The more I ponder the more I think I am interested in trying on a limited basis. It seems extremely erotic to share pleasure with another couple. I feel my stipulation would be confined to same room play. Having been cheated on in the past I don't think I could mentally handle my spouse going out and doing their own thing. But, including another couple in our pleasure in the same room is a whole different thing that really excites me. I love my spouse dearly and want to be with them forever. And I would not push anything they didn't want. But if this could be a way of enhancing an already great sex life, I am interested. With all of that said, I am thinking of just letting the trip flow and see what happens. We make friends easily and with some alcohol, things could progress. Or nothing may happen. For those of you that do swing, how did it start? Would you just take the trip and go with it or try to influence the action? Other thoughts or ideas? I am happy to share more detail via pm if needed but want to remain anonymous on the post. Thank you for taking your time to read this and for any advice given.

  2. #2
    Registered User JayNSteph's Avatar
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    Communication is the key. On our first trip we were not swingers. However, we did the "what if" game and asked each other what we would do. "What if someone asks you...." "What if someone touches you...." "What if someone approaches us as a couple....." Play the what if game. Bring it up to her and if you like or have ideas in your head, approach it with her in mind, not yourself. for example, maybe say to her "I may find it hot if you are kissing another man...." or something to that extent and see what she says. If you feel there were some wavering in her answer, then definitely talk talk talk talk talk talk talk about it. Talk about it all in length, everything you can think of. That is what we did. We did eventually get into swinging, but we didn't actually hook up at the resort right away, but we were ready, it was on our minds, and you can be prepared for any situation. Anything can happen, or nothing can happen, it is all up to you and what you both are comfortable with at every moment.
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  3. #3
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    I am going to agree with Jaynsteph on this one. Communication is the only way you will learn anything about any desires in the lifestyle. If you can't tell her you are interested how are you going to maneuver through an "encounter" at Hedo? I highly recommend a lot of discussion before your trip and that you both be on the same page when you arrive. Waiting for alcohol to lower inhibitions is what we call the hopeful hubby and it's not a place you want to go.

  4. #4
    Registered User CopNkitten's Avatar
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    Set your limits.
    Don't change then when there and drinking, or during an encounter.
    Also communicate all this to potential play partners, so they know whats up.
    If at anytime anyone feels uncomfortable, say so and it all stops.

    But Hedo is the place you can find what you want, do as much as you want or as little as you want. There is someone there who will be ok with what your looking for.
    Have fun.
    Cop..
    Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 10th Annual Spring Fling April 7th - 14th, 2018 (We will be onsite 4/05/18 - 4/16/18) http://www.kittennangel.com/

  5. #5
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    All great advice. Thank you all!

  6. #6
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    We just got back from our first trip to Hedo . We didn’t know what to expect , and I had never been nude in front of anyone before . Turns out after 15 mins. I loved the feeling . We had talked a bit about different situations before we went . We met two different couples , who explained the ins , and outs of swinging to us as a couple . We didn’t know exactly how we would feel , but it was a wonderful experience. I learned the beautiful , and erotic feelings I never knew that I got from watching another person pleasure my lover . I also found out I’m a bit of an exhibitionist. Not to mention how hot it is to watch your wife make out with another woman . These were all new experiences for us , and we are both so happy we did them. We both want to go for 2 weeks next year . I hope it all works out for you . For us it was definitely the right thing to do . We both loved our new experiences. Talk a lot , and play a lot . That’s my advice !

  7. #7
    I agree, communication is key and just think if you get to where you can talk to your spouse about sex with another, what will you not be able to talk to them about? You might also consider just same room with another couple but each stays with their partner..is a non threatening way to ease into the lifestyle... At Hedo all your senses are being stimulated and the whole atmosphere is sexy and erotic, even the air caresses your skin like a gentle lover.....you and your wife may be too into each other to even notice other people are on the planet.....go with no expectations and you will have the best vacation ever!
    Kiki and her Beast
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  8. #8
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    Thank you BplusA. Did you know you were likely going to start swinging before the trip or was it spontaneous?

  9. #9
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    We went with open minds . We thought we would to some degree , we just took it slow . We talked , we watched , and listened . We learned a lot . We are now closer , and more in love than ever before . It’s hard to explain, but being together openly watching , and listening to your lover with another partner is something so amazing that I have no words to describe it. It’s a feeling of total trust , and fulfillment. The dealbreaker for me is to find a couple that you trust , and have complete respect for. Then the rest comes so easy. I hope if, or when you try it , that it’s as wonderful for you as it was for us . Have fun , respect each other, I’m sure you will feel closer than you ever have !

  10. #10
    Registered User bigdawg's Avatar
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    one of the amazing things about hedo is you can dabble in the lifestyle without expectations. For instance in the nude Pool and hot tub during the afternoon a lot of what I will call "touchy feely" activity takes place. For example a lady or a gentleman might come up to a lady and compliment her breasts and ask if it is okay to touch them. If she says yes, it is a chance to experience a little bit of soft swinging type behavior without any commitment to do more. The new couple can then step back and discuss how they feel about a little sexual touching now that they have experienced it. A little casual touching and or kissing is in my opinion a great way to "dip your toe in the water" without committing to going swimming. A good idea is to continually check with your partner to make sure everyone is on the same page.
    Another good activity for newby's in your situation is to watch the other couples and singles interact in the pool and hot tub and discuss how you feel about these activities. Also getting jiggy with your partner in front of a hundred people can be very sexy and liberating. keep in mind that at the end of the trip you will be going home to live with your partner and their happiness is the most important thing.
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  11. #11
    Registered User Allan_Elizabeth's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by bigdawg View Post
    one of the amazing things about hedo is you can dabble in the lifestyle without expectations. For instance in the nude Pool and hot tub during the afternoon a lot of what I will call "touchy feely" activity takes place. For example a lady or a gentleman might come up to a lady and compliment her breasts and ask if it is okay to touch them. If she says yes, it is a chance to experience a little bit of soft swinging type behavior without any commitment to do more. The new couple can then step back and discuss how they feel about a little sexual touching now that they have experienced it. A little casual touching and or kissing is in my opinion a great way to "dip your toe in the water" without committing to going swimming. A good idea is to continually check with your partner to make sure everyone is on the same page.
    Another good activity for newby's in your situation is to watch the other couples and singles interact in the pool and hot tub and discuss how you feel about these activities. Also getting jiggy with your partner in front of a hundred people can be very sexy and liberating. keep in mind that at the end of the trip you will be going home to live with your partner and their happiness is the most important thing.

    Perfect.



    Next trip Feb 2018 with the Fluffs
    Trip #20




  12. #12
    Registered User rast67's Avatar
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    One more small piece of advice...

    Have a code word which only you two know... and no matter what if it is uttered, everything stops and you retreat to where ever your safe place is.

    Just knowing you have this fail safe makes the whole experience ... well more enjoyable.

    Just our 2 cents
    The Chemist and the Flyer


    ... adding the human touch.

  13. #13
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    'Spouse indicates they are not open to swinging. But from the tone and circumstance of the answer, I sense some wavering. Almost like saying no, thinking any other answer would upset me and admittedly my response is the same for the same reason.".....these sentences concern me.

    If you and your spouse have not had clear and effective communication on possible sexual scenarios involving additional people in your bedroom prior to your arrival, I do not think it would be healthy for your relationship to go to Hedo and see what type of serendipitous liaisons happen. The amazing people, atmosphere and alcohol may provide the perfect combination to create a great sexual experience, but if you nor your spouse are not comfortable enough to be completely honest with each other prior to your arrival, being at Hedo will, in my opinion, create angst for one or both of the people in the relationship. Talk about EVERTHING before you get there. You do not want to be the couple that I've seen miserable and angry because they failed to be on the same page.
    Last edited by flfitguy; 12-06-2017 at 03:31 PM.

  14. #14
    Junior Member theethicalsluts's Avatar
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    Lot's of good advice here.

    When you start interacting with others, the chances that you are both equally comfortable, at every moment, is just about nil, so be ready for the emotional roller-coaster and go with it...

    In front of others it's not always easy to "check-in" with your partner so we have a discreet "finger code" .. a squeeze of the hand gets a reply between thumb (1) and little finger (5).

    1 means "Having a great time" to 5 "Get me out of here now".... You can make up your own words but keep it simple so it survives the effect of alcohol :-)

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