Open door policy

[cowgirl]

Now that was bolder than Bush's grillin' beans!

For some of us, that would be considered assault, so I would not call it bold. I would think that most women, and probably most men, would want to be asked for permission before someone enters their "backdoor" or any other part of their body. Especially since a good amount of lube is needed for that particular situation.
Glad you shared this story so that newbies especially will be careful about what they do at Hedo. I have never felt unsafe at Hedo, but I do worry about those that drink too much and may not have their wits about them. Please make sure that you and your partner take turns drinking so that one of you can be aware enough to keep both of you safe. Luckily, the gal in this situation was "into it", but many others would have said it was rape, and they would have been in the right. It is really sad that this particular guy had no qualms about entering another person's body uninvited. Hedo doesn't need that kind of publicity. Those of us that love Hedo need to all work together to keep it a safe place for all of us to enjoy.
I love all kinds of sex, but I am not sharing my body with people unless I give them permission. And now that I am a newlywed, the only one who has that permission is my Canadian cowboy! We love to be watched but that is where we draw the line. I am really glad now that we never left our door open to our room.
Cowgirl

[Naughty Nudists]

Hey Cowgirl,I agree with you 100% as your opinion was my initial opinion.The fact that she allowed it and enjoyed it would make it difficult to define as assault but it was definitely "behavior not befitting of a gentleman" on the guy's part.I can't believe anybody would be that rude and presumptuous as to touch someone else or their partner without invitation or permission.So the moral of the story is to keep the door closed unless you are prepared to risk trouble.

[Canadapaula]

I didn't describe the scene too well. I did invite him him with a casual wave. It did happen very fast. She was very aware and to this day talks about how much she enjoyed it. The only real surprise was he went straight for the back door. Or maybe the surprise was she took him in the back door. We've been to Hedo a few times, so we had our rules set in advance. Both of us were very sober. It's not for everyone but we (her most important) had a great time.

[sexylady]

You don't have to be apologetic for anything. If you both enjoyed it, that's it. Surprises don't have rules and rules don't have surprises. Each one to their own. Also, just because something worked onetime, doesn't mean that is the standard rule for anyone. You have a choice to change your rules every time.

[cowgirl]

I didn't describe the scene too well. I did invite him him with a casual wave. It did happen very fast. She was very aware and to this day talks about how much she enjoyed it. The only real surprise was he went straight for the back door. Or maybe the surprise was she took him in the back door. We've been to Hedo a few times, so we had our rules set in advance. Both of us were very sober. It's not for everyone but we (her most important) had a great time.

Thank you for clarifying and expanding on your original post. I am glad to hear that the man was invited in and that you both were happy with the activities taking place. I didn't mean to imply that you shouldn't be allowed to enjoy your activities. I just want to make sure that EVERYONE at Hedo treats everyone with the respect they deserve. I want everyone to enjoy their Hedo trip so that they will want to return! I want to make sure that the Newbies understand that "No means no" at Hedo and that people will not force you to do things you don't want to do. I want the Newbies to feel safe coming to Hedo just as I know that I feel safe. I walk around completely naked 24/7 where allowed, and have sex all over the resort where allowed. I have never had anyone take advantage of me during any of my 6 trips to Hedo.
Cowgirl

[JuicyLucie]

Totally appreciate your comments cowgirl !!! I am adventurous as well..... but an awesome experience was quickly turned into something scary last Dec when a man we knew as a aquaintence, sailed past my husband and a close girlfriend smoking and standing guard outside my slightly open door....The married man (who likely didn't mention his plan to his wife) didn't say a word and we didn't even notice him until he was looming over the bed with a pissed
off look on his face saying " so the party stops when i arrive, eh?!" I was so freaked out I just got up and stood by my husband of 38 years. My husband put the run on the clueless man by giving him shit for walking into another man's room without knocking or asking permission to even be there....then he subtley offered to kill this guy if he ever tried something like this again with me. I bid my new girlfriend good bye (and her VERY respectful voyeur husband good bye ) I will never leave the door open again... and the shame of it all was for the rest of the week I was scared to be affectionate (and wasn't even that friendly I feel sorry to say) with my new female friend bcause I worried about the creepy married guy accusing us of "teasing him" . I know how to deal with 'Vinnies' and 'Wanker' after more than a dozen trips but half of a couple that I was familiar with fo at least 5 trips took me by surprise

[2naughty]

It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission kidding. An open door can be an invite and it sometimes can just be an open door. It's always best And just polite to ask to join in watch or whatever your into
Most of the time body language and a slight gesture goes a long way.

[HughJudy]

That is why its' Hedo!! For everyone information, you should know your ground rules before you arrive. No matter if you door is open or not. The time to figure things out is not when some guy is trying to enter your "back door" (or front door for that matter) Note: Single guys don't always know the rules. (or even married guys without their wife around) It's easy to speak up and let people know, before things happen. He waved him in, so that was permission. This couple seem to have all the "rules" covered.

[Canadapaula]

And the rules are subject to change without notice. When you engage in such play, you need to keep the line of communication open. Later in during that trip we were in a similar situation. But she said she just wasn't' up for it and that was that.

[jshell]

I didn't describe the scene too well. I did invite him him with a casual wave. It did happen very fast. She was very aware and to this day talks about how much she enjoyed it. The only real surprise was he went straight for the back door. Or maybe the surprise was she took him in the back door. We've been to Hedo a few times, so we had our rules set in advance. Both of us were very sober. It's not for everyone but we (her most important) had a great time.

It's pretty incredible that this went so well as a spur of the moment thing. I'll try and say this delicately, but back door penetration usually requires certain conditions be right and at least a little preparation by both involved.

There is some reading between the lines needed here, but I think most will get my implications.

[JuicyLucie]

Soooo the first time this happened on this particular trip all is good with a slight wave of the hand from the husband and the second time a similar situation arises the wife is able to verbally express her opinion..... prior to penetration?? Even if this posting is pure fantasy I appreciate that the topic was brought up. A few trips back a local guy got the brilliant idea to dress like one of the gardeners and walk right in while we were just standing there talking, to offer his "services". BOTH my husband and I loudly expressed our view that this bold young man should get the hell out of our room. He did leave and we did report the incident to security (plus we know and respect all the fabulous Hedo gardeners so we knew this was an imposter). I was surprised how verbally aggressive I needed to be to get rid of the young man though! It might seem to both newbies and regular Hedo visitors that every one at Hedo secretly aspires to replicating porn scenarios but of course this not the case!!! Harry , the owner, takes unwanted sexual advances very seriously and makes every effort to make sure people who infringe on the rights of
others NEVER return to Hedo.

,

[Canadapaula]

It's pretty incredible that this went so well as a spur of the moment thing. I'll try and say this delicately, but back door penetration usually requires certain conditions be right and at least a little preparation by both involved.

There is some reading between the lines needed here, but I think most will get my implications.

jshell, I feel I should retell the whole story. But it's late and I am ready for bed. I was prepping the backdoor for my own action. I been prepping it for a while. Our new friend walked up and I waived him in. he stripped quickly and joined my prep work so a short while. He was a huge bbc but much bigger than me. Then he grabbed one of the condoms we had near by for just this moment. she had been well prepped by this point. she was ready more than ever before for backdoor play. He easily slide in. with no notice, i was living one of my fantasy of seeing her get BBC in the backdoor. after a few minutes, he flipped her, changed his condom and finished his thing. it ended as quickly as it started. he left and went on his way. she got up to shower to clean some pleasantries he left all over her chest. never caught his name.

[ShyinOntario]

This is a really informative thread... I feel like a recap is in order.

If you leave your door open:
-some people will see it as an invitation to come in.
-the people who show up at your door could be a bold single guy, could be a polite gentlemen, could be a couple, could be attractive, could be the creepy guy you told to fuck off earlier in the day... you don't get to pick.
-you can dismiss anyone who does show up if you choose, but you did know that people would see a potential invitation to come in didn't you?
-if you're picky about what type of random stranger you'd like to invite into your bedroom, you should consider your effect on those random strangers you may have to reject... no one wants to be rejected strictly based on their appearance. If you are picky, consider finding a stranger and bringing them back to your room so you can be selective without hurting anyone's feelings.

If you see an open door:
-There may be someone looking to fulfill a fantasy inside.
-sometimes an open door means nothing... not everyone gets the memo that an open door may be an invitation join in on some swinger action... they could just be trying to air out the room.
-you should knock before entering, because no matter what is inside that room, you can't go wrong with knocking.
-once inside, normal etiquette of asking permission along the way still makes sense.

Respect.

[jshell]

jshell, I feel I should retell the whole story. But it's late and I am ready for bed. I was prepping the backdoor for my own action. I been prepping it for a while. Our new friend walked up and I waived him in. he stripped quickly and joined my prep work so a short while. He was a huge bbc but much bigger than me. Then he grabbed one of the condoms we had near by for just this moment. she had been well prepped by this point. she was ready more than ever before for backdoor play. He easily slide in. with no notice, i was living one of my fantasy of seeing her get BBC in the backdoor. after a few minutes, he flipped her, changed his condom and finished his thing. it ended as quickly as it started. he left and went on his way. she got up to shower to clean some pleasantries he left all over her chest. never caught his name.

Each time you fill in more of the story it makes more sense. Cheers

[Canadapaula]

Each time you fill in more of the story it makes more sense. Cheers

It's all about basic Hedo rules of engagement. Have fun, be safe, set rules and limits in advance, and have constant open communication. Good rule for life too.