Hedo / swinger newbie questions

[Son of Jor-El]

Hey, all:

I'm just trying to get a feel for what to expect when my girlfriend and I head to Hedonism in October for Young Swingers Week. We've been reading up on the lifestyle and the resort and her big concern was naked hugging from strangers. She's no prude but is wary of that kind of contact from someone she doesn't know yet. Is this a very common occurrence upon introduction?

Also, we've talked a bit about what may happen and are going to see where things go with boundaries well established before anything goes down. How common in the swinging community (or Hedonism) is just having sex in the same room with no full swapping, and the girls only having contact with each other? Is there a swinger dictionary term for this situation, short of a shorthand we can use?

Thanks for your time!

[YoungSwingersWk]

Good Morning and thanks for the great questions. I am sure there are others with the exact same questions and interests.

The naked hugging is not that common unless you know the people already are are leaning in for it.

We have Red Necklaces and Green Necklaces and the attendees are about a 50/50 split on the necklace colors in the group.

Red Necklaces are Full Swap Swingers (right time, right place, right people)

Green Necklaces are Soft Swap, Same Room, Girl-Girl and Newbies, which is the color you should be in based on your questions.

You can try joining www.YoungSwingers.me for free to see people who have RSVP'd for the trip as well, and you may even find some couples you can chat with online who have the same interests.

Let us know if you have any questions.

[toohorny]

We have not traveled with the Young Swinger group....if we do we better do it soon...getting older sucks...lol

Hugging...we do not see that much, unless we know and are friends with the people.

As for play, not everybody at hedo are swingers, depending on the week there may be more or less.

It is a great idea to set your rules/guidelines ahead of time. You can always change them, but never do it when you are drunk or in the heat of the moment. Talk about what you want and then if you meet a couple or single that you are interested in, just ask them if they would be interested...if yes, great, if not...who cares you probably made a friend.

[ShyinOntario]

People are polite and respectful (with few exceptions). Hugs happen, but mostly from people you know.

Don't worry about swinging happening accidentally... people tend to imagine themselves in some sort of creepy situation and all of a sudden they're trapped and the go further then they might have liked or they imagine their partner having a great time with someone else and you get jealous.

No one in the lifestyle wants to be the ones who make the newbies uncomfortable or push them past their boundaries. People will talk to you and feel you out. If you indicate you're interested in something... they may initiate further. If you clearly state your boundaries, they will NOT overstep them without asking... they will let you go as far as you're comfortable with.

My experience was that if you're not actively looking to do something with others, they aren't necessarily going to approach you.

It would be great if there were some sort of dictionary or manual (there are actually books on the subject you could consider a manual) that could clear it all up for us... but they can't tell you what you'll be comfortable with.

Go, have fun, don't be too worried about the swingers... it's just lots of fun.

[NatAndRob]

Hello Superman (aka Son of Jor-El),

Nat and I will be at Hedo for YSW in October as well - it will be our 5th trip to the resort, and we've been in the LS for about a year and a half (although we moved along pretty quickly, lol). I'll add a bit to the answers above, based on our experiences thus far:

Hugging - most people that don't know you will ask permission before making any kind of physical contact, even a hug. if you don't want someone to hug you, just say no when they ask - you won't offend anyone. As people drink a bit and loosen up, those boundaries will sometimes get stretched a bit, but I can count on one hand the number of times that the wife or I have had to tell someone to F-off because they were being grossly inappropriate. If you are in the pool or hot tub and it's crowded, some incidental contact might happen, but most people are friendly and do their best to be respectful.

Play time - everybody plays at their level of comfort, and that can range from nothing to full blown orgy and everything imaginable in between. Same room and girl/girl only play is pretty common - just explain your boundaries to people you are interested in playing with, make sure everybody is on the same page as far as expectations, and then go have some good clean naked fun. If people aren't interested in playing at your level of comfort, they will let you know, and you can still be friends. We've made lots of good friends at Hedo that we've never played with.

The best advice I can give to newbies would be to a) talk about EVERYTHING with your partner openly and honestly, b) do not adjust boundaries and limits in the heat of the moment, and c) if you get uncomfortable with what is going on, put the brakes on, have a conversation with your significant other, and regroup. Nobody wants to create a situation where one of the participants isn't having fun.

-R