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Thread: April 15th - 22nd

  1. #1
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    April 15th - 22nd

    I recently made my first visit to Jamaica, staying at Hedonism III. First impressions in the airport were nothing I wasn't used to, locals offering various legal and illegal things, telling me how beautiful i was in my ear while slipping things into my hands in hopes I'd fall for the lines and purchase something. I actually kind of enjoy this ritual, who doesn't want to think they are hot stuff once in a while? i politely declined offers and ignored comments I didn't wish to acknowledge. It's dark, just after 7pm and the best view I'm going to get tonight is going to be of the locals and the back of the seat in front of me on the bus. I settled into my more comfortable than expected seat near the back of the bus and waited to depart to the resort. Made acquaintance with some very nice couples who were also on their way to Hedo. Few roadside stops at some quaint little road side obviously tourist stops and we arrive at the resort.

    Could I be any more excited?!?!, i'm in ****ing jamaica people...

    First impressions of the resort aren't bad at all. The resort is very private, inset a ways from the road and the photos seen online are definitely a let down as opposed to in person, the resort appears clean and well kept, the staff is extremely helpful with checking in. Landscaping for the most part is attractive, but really, who stays at hedo to smell the roses? Looking around I can feel the eyes on me, Quick girl, suck in your stomach and stick out your chest, it's like a live meat market in here and you don't wanna be the one wearing the reduced price tag the next day!

    Venture up the stairs to our third floor, Quad pool facing room and notice oops... They've put us in a room with one bed. Not a big deal, I've slept in smaller spaces with girlfriends before. We don't complain, the room is clean, air conditioned and we have a great view of the pool and a jet tub. (Now seriously what girl would complain about a jet tub...) Check the schedule to see what tonights Dress code is. How lucky for us, leather and lace.

    Now I'm a very open minded girl, but I'm more than self conscious about how i look 'bearing it all' so the nude pool I must admit was not even in the back of my mind. Go figure within one hour of arriving and meeting the first few awesome people where did i find myself? Naked as the day i was born and tits deep in not so warm water playing volleyball with just as exposed strangers. I never would have thought. It's a very nerve wracking, yet very freeing experience. I have a MUCh greater respect for people who 'show a lot of skin' who are of 'larger' body types after this whole experience. I'm also a lot more comfortable in my own skin thanks to this, so no matter what commentary follows, I don't regret this trip in ANY way shape or form, and yes, I would recommend people to visit Hedonism in the future.

    We proceeded back to the room to dress for the nights festivities. I decided since I'd already been butt naked, what did I have to lose showing more than my 'norm' for dinner and the party to follow in the disco. I slid into a pair of fishnet thigh highs with a lacey garter to hold them up, a skirt with my backside completely exposed and a string of rhinestones from my waist down my 'crack' and connecting to the bottom of the skirt. Took a deep breath and away we went. I'm a tracksuit and flip flops kinda girl unless I'm working so talk about adrenaline. And it started... The waiter at our table was very polite, took our drink order, brought it to us, polite conversation. Then he mentioned margaritaville in town, and asked if we'd like to come. We thanked him for the invite and said we just got there and we would think about. He continued to stand there for about fifteen minutes while we tried to eat insisting we come with him, talking about tickets and whatever else... This was a little annoying, It's hard to eat when your being non stop pestered. He was being very nice though so it was hard to dismiss him without feeling like WE were the ones being rude. Later that night we enjoyed the house band for a short while before heading off to grab some drinks from the main bar, I was paying so of course my friend ordered two... haha. Almost immediately we started being harrased, not I'm not talking cute funny polite hitting on.. I'm talking like "show me your pussy, grab my cock, do you have a nice vagina" kind of harassment. A member of the band noticed and him and a friend came to our rescue and were able to shoo away the not so nice people. It's because of these two people that my entire trip changed. They introduced themselves and quickly retreated, informing us it was against the rules for staff and guests to be too closely associating. (something I found to be a bullshit rule as the week went on, as, by my own observations, it only applied to CERTAIN staff members) We thanked them for the assistance and headed up to the on-site disco. No seats, no tables... Ok that means we're drinking and shaking booty in the cage until we crawl back to our rooms I guess, not a problem! partying hard, enjoying every moment of it... It's getting late and things are starting to spin so we decide to head back to the room. We happen upon the same two guys who assisted us earlier. I asked one of them to help me drag my friend back to the room, cause at this point she wasn't walking so well on her own, and they declined, again because of hotel policy. A good policy if it actually applied to everyone... but anyways I won't get into that again.

    Next morning we had messages from hotel staff checking on us. Apparently we had an effect on people the night before... haha. It was all good, nice of them to make sure we were alright and everything. Go for breakfast, no rather lunch by this time, looking hungover and rode hard. Aside from the beastly headaches it's a beautiful day. Guests and staff are nothing but awesome. Walking to the restaurant for lunch we pass a guy who just finished snorkelling, he greets us cheerfully and we laugh and complain about drinking too much. He laughs and we part with promise to chat later (and get this my friend ends up dating him and bringing him home to meet mom.... haha but that's skipping ahead too much) The service at the lunch spot is great, food is prepared fast and they keep your drinks topped right up!
    But anyways if i give you a play by play this thing will be a thousand pages long.

    For me, I found the daytime activities were lacking, most people were sleeping, and things tend only to happen on the nude beach. Huge appreciation to the entertainment staff who dragged everyone over to the quad pool one afternoon for the events, that was by far the best day I had on the resort. Spike is most definitely an asset to the resort, he adds flair and character. You want to watch him just to see what he will do next... he's got an ass women want and men want to get at, let me tell you!!! At night the disco is pumpin for a very short time. Seems people show up in their glitz and glam but very quickly pair or three up and head over to the nude pool or back to the rooms. Disappointing for someone who isn't there to hookup, but rather just have a good time. Perfect for those who are completely there for the ENTIRE hedonism experience.

    I'm SO glad I chose to venture off the resort (against the advice of every person I've ever met and the front desk, and security...etc..) I had one of the best weeks of my life out partying with the locals. Off the resort they treated me way better than on the resort. It was to the point that i actually dreaded walking past security and the late night taxi drivers parked out front. I went shopping alone in Ocho rios and didn't have ONE person disrespect me or try to rip me off. Margaritaville was a blast, they had stage entertainment and games... the club is also equipped with a waterslide over the bar into a small pool. You have to be VERY aggressive to get a drink though, hussle hussle! I spent a day on the 'locals' beach area and i was so relaxed. GOOD food, good company, good experience for sure. One night I ventured not too far from the resort towards the sound of loud music... Found a roadside party setup. Walls of speakers 20 feet high, people frying up jerk chicken, drinks all around, people just pulling up parking, dancing and having a good time. You know i only saw ONE other white person there the whole time, yet, it seemed I was the only one who even noticed that. My favorite night was that night for sure, THAT is what it's all about. Go to jamaica and live it up. On the resort you don't get the real experience. Then again, most people aren't willing to walk around at night in a strange place, I'm up for adventure in different ways than most I suppose. I check the time and realise I should head back and check in with my roomate (I didn't know she was still out partying herself or I would have stayed out longer!) I walk past security and he smirks, comments that i made it back in one piece, i just smiled, agreed and walked on. I get to the front just outside and theres a nightguard and a taxi driver chatting. They say hello, ask where I've been, if I've had a good night, etc.... It's all good. Then the driver flat out asks me to come sit in the back of his cab and 'feel what i've dont to him in his pants'. I'm sure I looked like a deer in the headlights just staring at him but I was completely caught off guard. Not only does he ask but he starts walking towards his cab! I just started walking away when the security asks my room number and if i need to be walked back, i assure him i was fine and he didn't need to know my room number. To which he replied "it doesn't matter I know your number anyways, i'll give you a call beautiful". I ignored it and walked up to the disco to do a quick check for my roomate before I headed to the room. Nobody in there, a couple in the corner enjoying their night, a guy working it out in the cage (boy could move!) and 3 - 4 bartenders/staff. I grab a drink and engage in short conversation with one guy behind the bar... As I'm about to leave another bar staff guy asks if he can take me to a private closet on the resort and **** me! (he actually came up and started singing the song by Akon "I Wanna **** You"). I kinda giggled trying to be cute and get away at the same time and thanked him for the 'kind offer' but said i needed to find my friend. He also then informed me of MY room number and said he would call me later. Why does the entire staff know what room i am staying in ? Went back to the room, couldn't figure out how to make the jets on the tub work (very unfortunate!) so had a quick bath, called home to check in and hit the bed.

    The rest of the trip was pretty much the same thing over and over, amazing day off the resort, good night on the resort. As for the people around the week i attended. I met some totally awesome couples, some were life stylers, others weren't. And you know it didn't matter they were all excellent company and respectful of all my boundaries and freedoms. Of course not everyone you meet will be great company. I had the unfortunate opporunity to meet a gentlemen, and I lose that term loosely, who I just cant understand.... I'm standing in the restaurant on lingerie night, I have on fishnet top and black leather waist corset, but I'm wearing a pink silk robe over it until I get up to the disco. This guy approaches me and asks to see what I'm hiding under the robe, I open it up and show him, he comments on how nice I look and I smile and genuinely thank him for the compliment. Then he reaches with both hands for my nipples, I drew back and politely declined being touched and rerobed myself. He asks what the 'situation' with me and my roomate is *I came to hedo with a very attractive blonde girl friend*. I told him we are just friends, down for a good time, new experience, checking it out. He asks if I would be interested in a threesome with him and my friend and I stated again that me and her aren't sexual together at all. he suggests that just the both of us give him oral services at the same time and don't touch eachother. Again, I reiterated I wasn't like that with her. He asked if I would service him and I said sorry I wasn't interested. I assumed this would end the conversation. instead he asked if my friend would service him. I knew the answer but i told him he would have to discuss that with her personally, I couldn't answer for her. Later a very upset friend asks me why I offered her up to a man and his wife without even asking her about it. I was shocked. The guy went to her and said that I had told him she was willing to have a full-on threesome with him and his wife (He made no mention of a wife to me earlier at all). I assured her this wasn't true. Then he approached us in the disco, I was extremely rude at this point because he KEPT trying to talk to us and ask for things after we CLEARLY stated we weren't interested. (I'm trying to word this all as nicely as possible, I notice he's mentioned in another HEDO review) Well needless to say I wasn't the only person he THOROUGHLY annoyed, I was later informed management had a talk with him about his actions with SEVERAL guests who were very disgusted with him.

    I saw my first cochroach and I screamed like a baby, forcing my roomate to deal with the enormous bug. It wouldn't have been so bad but the days before the floors in the room were COVERED with ants. I figured that would only happen on the bottom floor, but apparently not.
    I can't say this was the worst trip ever, it's nice to be able to tan without the worry of tanlines. But I think they need a better handle on their bar staff. When I go to jamaica again I'm 99 % sure i wont' return to Hedonism III. (Though I wouldn't say no if you wanna bring me on your tab... hahahah ) I'd highly recommend staying at Breezes just down the road and getting a day pass for hedo (It's free if your staying at breezes and vice versa, only a 5$ cab ride per person over). In fact, I'd really like to return to Jamaica soon, my experiences outside of Hedo were amazing.

  2. #2
    Registered User billy&tami's Avatar
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    Tell me again ....why did you go to this resort!? Did you not research it befor you went.........because my husband and i were there the same time you were and we had a great time. I have never heard anyone complain about it as much as you. You probably should have stayed at a Sandles or Breezes resort!!!!!!!!

  3. #3
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    I am sorry you did not fully experience your trip to H3 but appreciate your frank and honest perspective. billy&tami, I feel you were a bit harsh there. The H3 experience will not always turn out to be heaven for everybody but at least fatal kisses had the courage to try it. Yes maybe a different vacation would suit her in the future. who knows!

  4. #4
    Registered User slhedo's Avatar
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    I am sorry to hear that things were that bad for you. We were there from the 11th through the 17th of April and did not encounter ANY of what you did. I am sorry to hear that As I said in the trip report I posted, there was one guest that did not know what NO meant, but that was it. There was one staff member that told my wife "I love your body". Not very appropriate, but it also wasn't over the top. He also told me that he didn't like my body It didn't really matter, as long as my wife does

    Good luck on your next vacation.

  5. #5
    The problem with this trip report is it is only half true, I was the other girl who took Fatal to Jamaica for her stagette party. Getting asked by staff to touch happened a few days into the trip. First night being hammered the hero of the story was not there deffending anyone honor but trying to get us to bail the club and leave the gates with him. I went back to the room, fatal showed up who knows when later. I think the way with her acceptance of attention alot of the staff assumed.... I was like that also.. BTW fatal you werent buck nakkid, you had your undies on...
    I don't remember seeing a band that first night, I do remember you cuddled up outside with one of them later though. Anyways next day we moped around as she said, yes i meet a guy named Paul thanks to ambers school girl outfit that day we were easy to spot. We went back to the room to get ready and Fatal was ready and gone in about 5 mins. about 30 minutes later at the piano bar I found her and she was just on her way out with buddy from the band. Sat down at the bottom of the piano bar ended up visiting with two ittalian brothers and had a few laughs, friend came back just in time for me to ask to get the room card back and off to bed I went. Think it was about 4 when she stumbled in telling me plans of going to margaritta ville with buddy from the band.
    Next day she slept but when I got her outta bed off to town we went, scared from all the travel advizers I made sure it was yellow track suit, no make up. Knowing the attention at the airport of a busty blond I made sure to keep things mellow. Asked Fatal to do the same and needless to say dress down to her that day ment a outfit with the neckline down to her belly button, some small handcuffs holding her boobs in and sparkles from nipples to nose.
    We get into town cause Im dieing to get my hair done, walking around of course sparkles and handcuffs there was cat calling, as I learned to walk away my friend didnt have it in her, within momments she was off to get a drink. Watching in the mirror she walked directly to the guy she stopped to talk to. 1/2 later she needed CD's, lady at the hairshop told her it wasnt a good idea to leave alone outta the tourist site but she ignored her and off she went with buddy... Oh well nothing I could do.... she returned and the guys were coming up to the hairdresser trying to get them to go with her. Apparently she must have done something to make them think she needed to get fucked cause they offered her the best time of her life for some money...
    Back to the hotel we go, had supper and she was wiped, paul, the guy we meet that was snorkling joined us for supper, they were having dinner on the beach, trying to keep Amber from falling asleep in her food was a task until 7 and the entertainment staff showed up and bing she needed a drink or to find him.,..... SO back to the room we go, lets get ready to go, again she was out the door going to meet him. They million phone calls to the room should have been the first hint. I was off later when I was ready and paul meet me there. When I found Fatal I told her I wanted to go home, I had enough. THIS IS WHEN the bartenders started asking to touch my snatch, tits yadda yadda yadda, the resort pain in the ass was coming up bugging us and we were in the middle of a heated conversation. Fatal stormed off and later came back and by that time paul was at my side saying stay and have fun. Knew fatal would love that idea of us hanging out seeing everytime her boytoy was around she was leaving telling me my new friend was trying to be indecent with her.. * which I might add was bullshit, I was there the whole time* next thing was she didnt like the chairs but thats another story,thats why she had to go lay on the beach with her friend... I mean lay on the chairs and fall asleep and meet her friend walking back...
    That night turned out to be fun, meet Richard who turned out to be a legend at hedo, the see threw tub, some drinks, the nakkid slide,,, all before 1,, then off to the nude hot tub when drunk richard asked paul if he could fuck his girlfriend with a condom, needless to say not the girlfriend, and richard was outta luck.... As all of us made our way to the hottub Fatal managed to lure in a Jamaican cop, nakkid as a jay bird, gun hidden in his shoe the night just seemed to get started and it was over, soon as the kinky shit started i turnned prude and off to the quad pool we went... * not wantin to catch any nasty in the tub, kinda scared of pUnaNnY funk*
    Morning came soon and Paul and I meet up for breakfast and coffee, I was convinced Im gonna have a good trip and pretty much fuck what was going on around me, he was a awsome guy and knew some pretty cool people * matt and amber* They told us about Breezers so off we went to have one of the most enjoyable afternoons...meet some ppl and then before we knew it the day flew by, I just had surg 10 days prior so I wasnt feeling to well and layed down for a bite... Fatal wanted to head into town for her date, I didnt want to go but listening to all the stuff heard what can happen I went along, Paul also came with.... Margeretta (sp) was awsome
    Was offered everything from crack to guns inside but hell its Jamaica. Paul and I sat talking for hours till I started not feeling good again, my friend come back and I told her I wanted to go... Few more dances 45 minutes pass buy and we go looking for her, notice her band boyfriend and her come from upstairs and loose them in the crowd, so upstairs we TRY to go, wrong, guy wants money to go up there, apparently its where ya go if your a tourist and pick someone up for a good time.... No cheap hotels near I guess... (lol)
    Our stay ended quick as we find the resort singer trying to get her to check his tonseils... I yelled were leaving now and off we went.
    Cab got a speeding ticket on the way home, but we made it in record time, which was good cause my friend must have been so tired from tonsiel hockey that she didnt say a peep and went right to sleep... got back to the room and Paul was hungry so the front desk got him some bannana bread and stinky cheeze * thinking it was goat cheeze*
    Back to the room we went, I was sore and out... My friend I think felt sorry for me, woke up and she had the phone pulled into the bathroom so she wouldnt wake me up..
    Morning again time for breakfast with Paul * yay* this guy is kinda growing on me...... future ex husband material, maybe... made some reservations for dinner for 6 just incase some new friends wanted to come.... matt and amber joined us for breakfast... Off to breezers we went again, got there and to my surprize here comes the boytoy... At this point I though well nothing i say is gonna matter so why bother, turned out this kid was nice, spent 65 bucks to come spend the day with us and hes kinda cool... took some pics, hung out with Dianne and Mike which was fun, snorkled and before you knew it the day was over. Mike and dianne joined us for supper and toga night was underway.
    Paul came over to the room and all of us got ready together, was soooo enjoyable to finally have amber, and me get ready together, so girly but yet so much fun...... we arrive at the club and paul and I stayed only a bit, I was sick, and in some serious pain from surg and not really looking after myself, we let my friend know I was going and paul offered to take me back to the room, he was awsome, didnt know there was guys out there like him, he stayed till 5 when my friend finally got back and just laid beside me..
    Next day Amber left with her friend for lunch and they went to some public pool. think later on i the nght they went back to the road party, by this time she was never there...
    Sat Paul had to leave, Sun we were leaving, spent the day together and packed that night, Amber was in late again but thankfully ordered coffee and stuff to the room for the next morning.....
    We left and although it was a trip from hell the first couple days and it wasnt the girl pals holiday that i expected I meet some awsome people, and my future ex husband...
    Its Karma I swear... Now as I sit and write this Paul is looking at pictures of this last weekend together when he came to see me, and were both counting sleeps till he is here again.
    The worst thing that could of ever happened to me on this trip (have my best friend blow me off and our friendship hit the rocks) and the best thing ever happen to me all in the same trip (yeah honey if your reading this don't let it go to your head)

    I dont know if I will go back there, but for sure to Jamacia Breezers, and all the people I meet and most all the superclub staff were great, even richard, and the big black women who touched me in the tub!!! every small good and bad detail had some rhyme or reason for happening.

  6. #6
    Registered User JAnewbies's Avatar
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    They say Hedo is what you make of it. A very surface opinion here, but it sounds like you had a bad travel partner to begin with... who brought more bad people into the scene with her.

    Then, honorable efforts were made to reel the bad travel partner back in. The only thing I would suggest to any reading these reports, is that if YOU are the "good side" of a bad partnership... cut your losses early in the trip and proceed as if alone. Once you realize the ship is going down... don't go down with it.

    May I suggest reading MY trip report around May 14th. I am certain it will be more uplifting. Jayme, sorry your trip was not so good.


    Is your glass "half full," or "half empty"... At Hedo, who cares... go ahead and fill it up every time you're near the bar...

  7. #7
    Administrator Chris's Avatar
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    Later that night we enjoyed the house band for a short while before heading off to grab some drinks from the main bar, I was paying so of course my friend ordered two... haha.
    You were paying for drinks?
    Chris
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  8. #8
    Quote Originally Posted by Chris View Post
    You were paying for drinks?

    LMAO no I paid the trip for both of us, so she must be talking payin for drinks in the airport, I think thats might be where she heard the bands too. I was there and don't remember any of this.... But least now no one will have that bad of taste in there mouth as its more obvious what really happened.

  9. #9
    Registered User billy&tami's Avatar
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    Hi, just wanted to say thank you for the real trip report.My wife and I were there same time as you and your report sounds more realistic. we had a wonderful time will go back many times. Your friends report just really rubbed us the wrong way,and had we read that report before we went we probably would not have gone.It really made Hedo sound like a bad place to be.Glad you had fun and maybe we will see you there next April.

  10. #10
    I seen you and your wife numberous times, look like you both were having a blast. ( I was very jealous) Don't worry about sounding harsh, I was nice in what I had to say compaired to how I was treated.
    Anyone that was that seen her and I together didn't see it offen as she was too busy with chasing around every guy she could have and trying to wrangle her tits in her shirt. ( SmiRk) **or find someone else to wrangle them
    I on the other hand wish I would have took the time to meet more people, I let myself get upset at the beginning of the trip and somewhat avoided people as I was very embarrassed... You never know I might be there, anything is possible, I was the one who prob got the least outta the experience seeing the nude side was the place to be and I didn't venture that way.....
    Nice chatting Bill/tam too bad I never said Hi there, seem like straight fwd cool people.

  11. #11
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    Yes thank you Jayme. If I had seen your trip report I would have understood why billy&tami were harsh on Fatal. Sorry billy&tami. At least now you know that Fatal isn't a REAL friend.

  12. #12
    Registered User PlayNeked's Avatar
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    Billy & Tami That was my first response also. The part about the staff......no way! Jayme Hook up with all of us next April. We met Billy and Tami on this web site about six months before our trip. They are great people ! Billy and Tami, Chris and Monique, Brian and Christian and Kim and I hung out all week. Everyone we met was great with the exception of the 2 single brothers that were complete Ass Holes. They backed off 1 night before they were going to get their asses beat by a group people that had had enough. If there is one thing I would like to see hedo do is to ban single males unless they are traveling with a couple. Funny, I have never heard of single women acting this way...(Damn)

  13. #13
    I dont know if I would agree about the single males thing, happens that it was one of the single males that I hung out with all week... *smIrK* and have been since we got back... Not all the single guys there were assholes...
    anyone know what really happened to that one brothers head, I heard he bumped it snorkling, then heard he was hit but too me it appeared he had bite the side walk...... The guys I think your talking about were not brothers I dont think unless you were talking about the ittalian guys. Another popular single seemed to be Richard from Montreal.

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