Rules about threesomes

**lacdeloo** · 10-10-2015, 08:28 AM

If you cant say anything nice,dont say anything at all..........unless it is constructive and nice.

**loverstriangle3** · 10-10-2015, 11:14 AM

Originally Posted by ruup4us

Are you willing to share your wife with another couple so they can fulfill their fantasy of a threesome also? If your answer is no, then don't expect favorable results.

Some couples play alone ..blows that scenario

**loverstriangle3** · 10-10-2015, 11:23 AM

Originally Posted by bumpngrind

I would agree with ruup4us. Being in the lifestyle for 8+ years, I can say that we've witnessed very few situations where couples separate so that the female half participates in a threesome while the husband goes and entertains himself. It's not entirely unheard of but it is rare because most couples get into the lifestyle to experience it together. While there are couples who play separate room, it's rare that they proceed without their partner involved in some capacity. You will want to seek out couples that consider themselves in open relationships, rather than swinging relationships, which happens much less frequently at Hedo. You may be more likely to succeed in seeking out a single female to play with; although to be honest there are only a dozen or so at Hedo at most times we've been there; and with 200 couples that's a lot of "competition" for their attention. As CopNKitten says, it does happen but is a delicate subject and you need to be up front on your expectations so that the couple doesn't perceive you to being deceptive; you wouldn't want to waste their/your time on an opportunity that may not have any chance of happening. Top three recommendations - set expectations, be polite and respectful and communicate. Best of luck

We do not attend Hedo for an outlet to play with anyone. We play at home also, and as far as the 3-some is goes ..yes a couple will split if they play alone. Has happened several times with us, female half joined. Not at Hedo however! We go to Hedo with an open mind, if we play..we play if not. We will most certainly play when we arrive back home. Now while at the sexually charge atmosphere resort we understand people go just for that. Beware that if you are too aggressive it could scare folks away. Again..some folks Dont go with their primary order is to play. If this makes sense.

**loverstriangle3** · 10-10-2015, 11:28 AM

Originally Posted by foxxyandhound

we have been in the lifestyle for over 20 years and we have had the 3somes 4 somes and moresomes....we play apart alot... mostly she plays... but i'm never to far away but i'm not really interested in watching.... when we are at hedo she has went off and played with guys and girls and i was around the pool... but the ppl that she has went off with has chatted with me as well as her... so if your going up to a couple... make sure you talk to the husband and make friends with him or it will not happen.... if you was to come up to us and you didn't make me feel comfortable it would never happen... but if you chat with the both of us and i'm comfortable and shes interested in playing with you guys then its a go.... so think before you chat with a couple and make sure you chat with both and you might have a change... but post your dates and get to chat with ppl on here and you might get alot of the leg work done before you get there....

This is exactly . Correct!!!

**loverstriangle3** · 10-10-2015, 11:42 AM

Originally Posted by Samson2010

We are excited to go to hedo very soon but do a question about the "rules" when it comes to threesomes. We would like to have a woman join us but we are not really interested in the husband to join or even watch.

Is it normal practice that a woman would go and join a threesome and the husband goes off to occupy himself?

Can anyone suggest a way to approach this?

We are just trying to figure out how to approach this but we find it weird just asking a couple for the husband to go away.

We take it as it comes. When we go to Hedo our primary order is to have fun. Let loose..what happens happens. We let the couple tell us how things will go down. If they play alone or not...etc. If we get a good read thinking he is ok with it then we will certainly be ready. We would never try to split a couple up to satisfy our wants. It has happened where the woman just flat out says to her husband. "If they just want me I'm going for it". The thing you need to remember here is the women are in control of this party. ....We as men just think we are. Only thing we are in control of is making our women happy. If you aren't then someone will right?

**foxxyandhound** · 10-10-2015, 05:30 PM

Originally Posted by loverstriangle3

We take it as it comes. When we go to Hedo our primary order is to have fun. Let loose..what happens happens. We let the couple tell us how things will go down. If they play alone or not...etc. If we get a good read thinking he is ok with it then we will certainly be ready. We would never try to split a couple up to satisfy our wants. It has happened where the woman just flat out says to her husband. "If they just want me I'm going for it". The thing you need to remember here is the women are in control of this party. ....We as men just think we are. Only thing we are in control of is making our women happy. If you aren't then someone will right?

you are so right here.... happy wife happy life....

**MaryW** · 10-11-2015, 12:20 PM

Samson don't let the negative replies get to you. Your question was honest and fair. Just follow the advice you were given about how to approach it and if you do so without being insulting most people will just as politely say "no thank you" if they aren't into that. Obviously it isn't a common scenario but obviously it DOES happen.

I think your best tips were to get to know the guy as well as the woman in the couple ...then if/when it seems appropriate to bring it up state what your preferences are and see the reaction you get before you ask.

**Samson2010** · 10-11-2015, 08:53 PM

Thank you for the constructive feedback. We agree with all the constructive posts that have been on here. I hope we have fun at hedo where ever it goes. And we wish you all the same.

**Danny Boy** · 10-12-2015, 04:49 PM

The wife and i have been following this thread and were curious if most couples in the lifestyle try to avoid newbies? We will be there for Hedoween and want to experience what the lifestyle is all about (been talking about it for years), however because we are swinger virgins we are a bit nervous about how to start the whole thing and even how to initiate once we've met a couple who are interested. Do most swingers have patients with noobs or would they generally prefer a pass for more seasoned couples?

**foxxyandhound** · 10-12-2015, 06:49 PM

how to start to chat with ppl... just say hi and its started...lol... for us just ask are you in the lifestyle and we will tell you yes... but on here you get to know ppl that are going the same time and you learn what each other are into.... that makes it easier.

**MaryW** · 10-13-2015, 12:12 AM

Right...just say hello and don't be afraid to ask if someone is in the lifestyle.

I think most won't be so hesitant about newbies but they may ask you more questions about what your limits are to be certain you are certain!

Definitely talk that out well before you get started so that you can clarify for anyone else you may party with.

And it they DON'T ask...let them know your limits.

**hkdilbert** · 10-13-2015, 02:21 AM

Many of the people we have spoken to in the lifestyle would not consider this as they are mainly interested in doing things together. One of the biggest concerns is for the safety and well being of the other spouse and being close by is one way to ensure problems of that nature do not happen, or of they do can be dealt with quickly. Several have indicated interest in only same room activities for this very reason. Of course this is not a hard and fast rule but from the people we have spoken to does appear to be reasonably common.

**Cdn_cpl** · 10-13-2015, 08:59 AM

Danny boy, we have no problem with newbies and I think most experienced swingers feel the same from what I've observed. It's way more important to us that you have it together as a couple and that we click, your level of experience isn't an issue.

**ryandnic** · 10-13-2015, 09:14 AM

That has been our biggest question/concern! Since we are so new, how do you get a conversation started with a couple you think may be interested? Is it super awkward if they turn you down? Do some just avoid newbies?

**Evo99** · 10-13-2015, 09:22 AM

Everyone was a newbie when they started. I think just saying, "Hi," is a super good way to start a conversation. If they aren't interested, you'll figure it out, just like vanilla hook-ups (or dates, if you prefer).