Is this an awkward situation?

[happy2us]

so my partner is obsessed with my ex's and there appearences and won't let it go and focus on us, is this normal in new relationships and she's just opened up and tells me ? i can't seem to say anything to make her stop comparing as i find her appearance extremely hot and I'm connected on a deeper level with her which is what keeps me close to her. But ye i can't seem to say anything without offending her when it comes to her comparing ex's

sorry for asking as its not really swinger based but ye wanted female opinions on this please

I don't think it's normal at all to obsess over a new partner's ex's. With her apparent insecurity, swinging light or heavy is the last thing you guys need. She needs to get comfortable in her own skin before she gets comfortable touching another she. You guys probably need more time together before strutting her out there in all her glory.

[TheCheekyCouple]

thanks happy2us yes i wasn't posting on here aiming to be like hey full swap i came on here as we want to go away and play on our own but be comfortable playing not just restricted to the bedroom , we recently went away to the spainish coast not to far from barcelona and the beach was completely open, kids and families were walking all along the front constantly so we want to find good places to go where we can be comfortable, but yes i know she would not appreciate looking up and seeing other woman playing especially with her insecurities as it is but our first tester is on friday as she wants to perform oral in semi public to test how we feel if someone does see us and to see how we feel about that so we will see how it goes

[Naughty Nudists]

No can really answer this without knowing your girlfriend..... But one possibility is it's a confidence thing. She's looking for reassurance from you that you find her more "attractive." While you can reassure her -- and really, who are you with? Them or her? -- true self-confidence needs to come from inside her. Sounds corny, but it's true.

As for the original post on jealousy, I used to feel that way. It just took one good guy to help me realize that jealousy should not be equated with care. (That said, I still get jealous! )

I'm with PG22's comments.Sounds like a confidence/self esteem issue.I thought she was likely young when I read your first post etc.The bottom line some of us old folks have learned in a 40 year relationship is1) "I cannot change anyone but me" and (2) "I can't make someone else happy".Oh,you might please her from time to time with gifts or behavior but her happiness and confidence and self esteem etc is hers and hers alone.So my comprehension of what has been written here is that she is obsessed with your ex's and she thinks your wanting to show her off in public means you don't love her?The question is not really whether or not that is awkward,the question is whether or not her attitude is acceptable to you.Only you can decide that one.At some point she needs to understand that it turns you on to have her "flaunt it" in public because you are PROUD of how hot she is.I suppose there are a number of Hedo husbands who enjoy flaunting their wives in public ya know.

[jshell]

You may consider a swingers club in your area. All this outdoor public stuff may be more intimidating than an indoor club where you can sit in a corner and observe and maybe tinker with some semi private action. Also you can leave if it gets tense and you haven't traveled a few hundred miles only to be disappointed. It would be a milder step in the right direction.

[TheCheekyCouple]

You may consider a swingers club in your area. All this outdoor public stuff may be more intimidating than an indoor club where you can sit in a corner and observe and maybe tinker with some semi private action. Also you can leave if it gets tense and you haven't traveled a few hundred miles only to be disappointed. It would be a milder step in the right direction.

thanks jshell ill mention that and see how we both feel about that