Just Sex!

[The Timidtwo]

Listen to Lagnia, as they have laid down some very good wisdom on this subject. Having been in the LS for over 5 years now, my wife and I have met many couples who did not survive long in the LS. We've also met many who have. The key, it seems to us, is communication, which builds trust, as well as setting boundaries that are comfortable now - even if you abandon them later - and never to push things either one of you are not ready for. In the beginning, we didn't do full swap. Now we do. We didn't do single guys for the first three years because I thought that might lead to jealousy issues for me, but once I felt comfortable and we tried it out, we both liked it. Whatever you do, communicate, communicate, communicate. Then communicate more. What made our first Hedo trip so spectacular, besides the phenomenal sex with hot people, was the amount of time the Mrs. and I spent connecting with one another!

[jshell]

I think a lot of it will just have to occur after a first experience. Until it actually happens it's just all speculation. I know that even if it's an awkward event, it's not one that will cause problems. Kind of like a pre-understanding that no matter what happens, it can be fixed. It's like talking about swimming before lessons. Even if it goes bad, we know we'll try again. We already know we want to, the only what if is if we want to do the same thing a second time and the only way to know that is to do it the first time. I think if you can go there in your mind and you're OK with it, then you are mostly there. I can see more doing it, than not doing it. As long as we feel we will still be "the same us" afterwards, then we are on the right track. Even more simply put, "we" wan to do it, which makes it a couple thing.

[EastWest]

We've been part of this forum for about 6 years, joining it as so many others have in preparation for our first visit to Hedo, in our case, good old Hedo III in July 2009. We made a return to Hedo II two years later and since then have continued to check in even though we have no definite plans to return in the immediate future. We have 'dabbled' in LS but at Hedo have not (yet) had any adult adventures with others, although we have done our fair share of PDA throughout the resort during our two visits.

There are many threads similar to this one, where couples planning a visit to Hedo where they want to experience everything Hedo has to offer try to figure out if their interests/fantasies can be realized or not. While the resort itself may not change (much) over time, it's the mix of people there at any given time that are the major determinant of whether one's experience will be as wild or mild as expected. Some people go with high expectations, but they leave with some/many unfulfilled. Others go determined not to get caught up in the debauchery until they find themselves naked on the bar watching relative strangers suck rum cream out of their navels!

Regardless, one needs only to read a small sample of contributions on the subject of swinging and anonymous sex at Hedo to get the bottom line: as long as you and your partner are both on the same page before you arrive, and you both commit to the boundaries you have set, regardless of where those may be, you will be guaranteed a great time, with many, if not all, of your fantasies, fulfilled.

Even if you are not particularly interested in developing friendships before you arrive, it is inevitable that you will go back to your room at the end of any given day to find you have met at least one couple with whom you would like to keep in touch. Hedo is just that kind of place. One arrives with a clothed (not closed) mind, but once you spend time naked with other naked kindred spirits, your mindset undergoes a not-too-subtle change. What people look like or what they do for a living fades away and who they actually are - their interesting stories, their senses of humour, their playfulness, and so forth - become what really matters.

My advice: as long as you and your partner are firmly on the same page, just focus on getting your asses to Hedo and let the Hedo lifestyle take over. As the Aussies say, "she'll be right, mate"!

Cheers

D & L

[ChiTownHedoCpl]

We've been part of this forum for about 6 years, joining it as so many others have in preparation for our first visit to Hedo, in our case, good old Hedo III in July 2009. We made a return to Hedo II two years later and since then have continued to check in even though we have no definite plans to return in the immediate future. We have 'dabbled' in LS but at Hedo have not (yet) had any adult adventures with others, although we have done our fair share of PDA throughout the resort during our two visits.

There are many threads similar to this one, where couples planning a visit to Hedo where they want to experience everything Hedo has to offer try to figure out if their interests/fantasies can be realized or not. While the resort itself may not change (much) over time, it's the mix of people there at any given time that are the major determinant of whether one's experience will be as wild or mild as expected. Some people go with high expectations, but they leave with some/many unfulfilled. Others go determined not to get caught up in the debauchery until they find themselves naked on the bar watching relative strangers suck rum cream out of their navels!

Regardless, one needs only to read a small sample of contributions on the subject of swinging and anonymous sex at Hedo to get the bottom line: as long as you and your partner are both on the same page before you arrive, and you both commit to the boundaries you have set, regardless of where those may be, you will be guaranteed a great time, with many, if not all, of your fantasies, fulfilled.

Even if you are not particularly interested in developing friendships before you arrive, it is inevitable that you will go back to your room at the end of any given day to find you have met at least one couple with whom you would like to keep in touch. Hedo is just that kind of place. One arrives with a clothed (not closed) mind, but once you spend time naked with other naked kindred spirits, your mindset undergoes a not-too-subtle change. What people look like or what they do for a living fades away and who they actually are - their interesting stories, their senses of humour, their playfulness, and so forth - become what really matters.

My advice: as long as you and your partner are firmly on the same page, just focus on getting your asses to Hedo and let the Hedo lifestyle take over. As the Aussies say, "she'll be right, mate"!

Cheers

D & L

Nicely said, East West!

[L&I]

Wait!!

No one goes for the food????

[new girl]

Do you all feel like it's easier for men or women to view it as just sex? Sterotypical wisdom says it would be the man who has an easier time, but is that actually the case?

[KinkyPEI]

Do you all feel like it's easier for men or women to view it as just sex? Sterotypical wisdom says it would be the man who has an easier time, but is that actually the case?

From my experience in the LS (both swing and BDSM) it is typically women that have an easier time with it. I find that most of the men in these situations prefer to get to know their partners a bit more....now the relationship may still just be about sex, but the men are generally more interested in getting to know their partners a little more first.

I believe this might be more about our desire to have more than a one time thing with our partners, seeing how the women in the LS can essentially choose who they want to have sex with...making just sex easier for them to have access to.

Of course those are very general statements and completely anecdotal and by no means represents the majority of the population. But it is my view on it

[jshell]

At the risk of being unhelpful, there is no model to follow. One side will always be more comfortable. Usually the more attractive side, male, or female. No matter what you read here, here is the norm. The key is to keep both partners involved and in whatever way, keep each other feeling included. Once it seems like either is a self sustaining prospector, THEN there is a problem.

[jshell]

Soooooooo may people are going to disagree with me lol...

[new girl]

At the risk of being unhelpful, there is no model to follow. One side will always be more comfortable. Usually the more attractive side, male, or female. No matter what you read here, here is the norm. The key is to keep both partners involved and in whatever way, keep each other feeling included. Once it seems like either is a self sustaining prospector, THEN there is a problem.

You know, the attractiveness piece is something I had never thought of. It's a legit point.

[jshell]

If I had a 12 inch cock, I'd go to work naked. But an apple stem, I'm wearing 4 pairs of boxers.

[jshell]

Just be sensitive to people's personal body image. That's all I'm saying.

[KinkyPEI]

I never really considered that either, and I think you are on to something....well sort of. I find that women personally consider unatractive are also very likely to have just casual sex due to low self confidence. But I suppose we are all limited by our options on how casual we are about sex.

[new girl]

If I had a 12 inch cock, I'd go to work naked. But an apple stem, I'm wearing 4 pairs of boxers.

No, it makes sense, at least relative to a fear of loss and wanting connection. At least to me. I'm 10+ years younger, so it would make sense that my partner might be hesitant about entering into something where he feels less confident OR re. sex only/connection, if he felt he was more likely to have sex available later if someone new him on a deeper level. This is totally false, he is a beautiful man, but I can see this as a legit concern in his head.

I can also see someone who is widely considered attractive to be more selective about partners simply because it's always been available.

[jshell]

I did want to first make sure to say I don't have an apple stem lol