Our memories of our Hedo experience are vivid and fresh in our minds. The chronology of events though is somewhat jumbled. Thus Chapter 2 will not necessarily follow any strict narrative. Those who like their trip reviews to be lists of things accomplished on an hour by hour basis may be disappointed and are granted leave to stop reading immediately. Those of you who clearly remember a line up of naked people waiting to drink tequila from your navel, but who are more than a little fuzzy as to whether or not the sun was up at that particular moment, may appreciate this chapter.
Hedo is all about family values. Maybe not Leave it to Beaver family values but the recognition that once you've taken the plunge and dropped your shorts at the nude pool you're a Hedonist for life with all the pleasures and responsibilities that come with it. A real Hedo veteran believes in saying hello to everyone, never judging anyone on how they look or what they do for a living, respects and appreciates the great staff and most of all respects themselves and the people around them. In our three trips the goddess and I have never witnessed a fight and only rarely have we seen or heard an argument. We've seen (and been a part of) much drunken debauchery but only once have we had to deal with an obnoxious drunk and he was quickly bundled off to his room. He recovered the next day and after that he returned to being a fun and happy member of the family.
Halloween and the 33rd Anniversary celebration on the day that followed felt like a giant family reunion, complete with crazy uncles, sexy aunts and enough champagne and vodka to drown a village of Irishmen. The costumes on Halloween night were insanely good. The winners were a couple dressed as half man half woman and the two of them were perfect reflections of each other right down to the half mustache and shade of lipstick. It was an incredible costume that must have taken forever to make but it was worth it. The lucky couple ended up winning a free three night stay, and it wasn't one of the free nights coupons where the fine print explains how you have to pay an extra $200 hundred a day for beach access or food or liquor. In a sign of true Hedo class the 3 night prize was a real 3 glorious free days at Hedo. Let me tell you on Halloweeen these 3 night vouchers were being given away like candy at the fire station. Not only were there prizes for best couple costume there were free nights for single's costume, funniest skit, stupidest skit, sexiest skit and for carving a damn pumpkin. Not only that but second place in each category got 2 free nights and third place got 1 free night. The goddess and I know of two people, both single guys with a lot more brains than we had that day, who were able to turn a couple of hours of pumpkin carving, costume making and skit rehearsal into a free week (that's 7 nights folks) each! One of the guys, who will remain nameless, had a great costume (3 nights), a not bad pumpkin (1 nights but it was really competitive with almost 6 entries!) and a really, really bad solo song performance that earned him another 3 free nights since he happened to be the only guy brave enough to enter. That is a free week in paradise for just showing up. Where else would that happen?
Don't get me wrong. Many of the guest skits were hilarious. Seeing an older lady in a bikini shake it to “Baby Got Back”, isn't something you think would be fun and the thought of it would probably be laughed at out in the vanilla world, but within the safe confines of Hedo the performance by a woman who could be my grandmother was both sensual and inspiring. And she won 3 free nights!
Other guests performed with varying degrees of skill with maybe the low point being several older 'gentlemen' in high heels and fishnets lipsynching to Frank Sinatra behind a guy in a Frankenstein mask. It was confusing, kind of awkward and all involved were clearly pissed out of their minds, but hey, 3 free nights.
The following day was the anniversary party. Details remain blurry but the goddess does have vivid memories of spotting Fifty strolling through the dining room. She jumped out of her chair so fast that it went flying behind her, screamed “Fifteeeeee!!!!” at the top of her lungs and ran and launched herself into his arms. He of course being the puny little man that he is dropped her. Or maybe he picked her up like a feather and gave her a kiss while his six pack gave her a massage. That dude has muscles in his eyelids. He probably curls hundred pound barbells while he's washing his hair. Not that I'm jealous or anything! He said he's now living in Florida and working in the fitness industry. Everyone certainly seemed happy to have him back for the night and he was even spotted up on stage a few times during some of the numbers.
One of the coolest moments was the ceremony saluting the long time hedonists. Both Harry and John and their wives were up on stage handing out gifts to guests with multiple visits. Some couples were honoured for more than 100 visits to Hedo. Awesome. Something to shoot for.
The dinner gala saw big smiles were seen all around and judging by the spread that Chef Anthony Millar laid out the resort is on a firm financial footing. From 10 foot tall ice sculptures of lobsters at the lobster tail station to the Galaxytini Martini bar the staff and entertainers knocked the Sexy Terrestrial theme out of the park. Ricardo was serving up amazing tuna sashimi, there were dozens of tempting deserts and the entertainment kept amping it up throughout the evening.
After the party on the main stage wrapped up Dion and Winston took it to the courtyard for a piano bar style DJ show and dance that kept going to late in the evening. Everyone at Hedo partied so hard that day that yours truly found himself one of only three people at the hot tub that night. It's true. At Hedo, where the party never really ends, the entire sold out resort of 600 of the partiest people in the world overdid it and crashed. The late night bar staff said it was the quietest they had ever seen the nude pool. Way to go guys! You literally partied your ass off!
Next time. The goddess and I encounter Hedo Rick. The rippin' and the tearin' ensues.
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