We took the unusual step of travelling to Jamaica mid-week and staying to mid-week. We did so because we could (no conflict with work schedules), and because travel during the week is often cheaper and smoother than travel on the weekend. We also enjoyed the fact that this schedule (Tuesday to Wednesday) allowed us to see two completely different sets of people – LoveVoodoo’s Colorful Fantasies & Cocktails International the first half of our trip, and AWOL our second half. On the one hand, this made it hard to establish some longer-term connections (it always seemed like our new-found friends were leaving the next morning), while on the other hand it allowed us to meet twice as many people. We’re still not sure what we prefer best. It might take multiple trips to decide.Lastly, before we go any further it bears stating that the Mrs. and I have been “in the lifestyle” (swingers) for about 3 years now, so while we were newbies to Hedo, the concept of being naked around other people – and sometimes having hot sex with them – is NOT new to us. So, newbies to the resort, but not new to some of the activities that others might find shocking.
NEWBIE NOTE: Pace yourself when drinking, unless you are only there for a few days. Getting smashed your first night and spending days 2 and 3 shacked up inside would suck. Mrs. Timid and I drank enough to maintain a good buzz, but never got smashed, and we think that’s why we were able to enjoy all 8 days and nights!
If you want to just get our run-down and our positives/negatives, skip to the end.
Tuesday, July 22nd
Arrival Day. This day started with a massive traffic jam on the way to the airport. Luckily, Mr. Timid is a time-freak who hates to be late, so we left early enough to arrive three hours early, and the traffic only slowed us down one hour. We arrived with two hours to spare before our flight, but Mr. Timid’s stress level was still through the roof, and it would take some herbal remedies (kava kava) and a glass of wine on the plane to finally calm him down. Not a good way to start our new adventure! Fortunately, it was all up from here.
In any case, we had a smooth flight, chatting with the flight attendant and a couple we are lifestyle friends with who decided to go to Hedo for the first half of our time there. We arrived in Jamaica on a very empty flight (Southwest), debarked, moved through customs smoothly, and went up to the Holiday Sun desk to get our bus ride. As we walked out with our bags, we were offered bar service at the mini-restaurant just outside the airport. We had read online that the bus trip from the airport to Hedo would be harrowing and a Red Stripe would help. We ordered two Red Stripes and were charged $6 each for them… so newbies beware the cost: if you can find one elsewhere it should be cheaper! Ah well, live and learn. The bus ride was probably improved due to the beer, and we both enjoyed the Red Stripe as we took in the scenery (beautiful shoreline spliced into sad scenes of poverty). The trip was quiet, as there were only four couples on the bus and no one was talking to anyone else (except us to our friends whom we traveled there with). We enjoyed the ride, though, and the driving was nowhere near as bad as we expected. Seeing small glimpses of the “real Jamaica” was enjoyable and interesting, and helped us put things into perspective; we were heading to a resort where everything would be presented to us one way, whereas life in Jamaica can be hard for those who live their daily lives there. This helped give us a lot of compassion for those wandering merchants who were occasionally irritating. Everyone needs to make a living, and by the look of things the living ain’t easy in Jamaica. Respect, mon.
Once we arrived at the resort, check-in was quick and easy (and we were served drinks before our suitcases even came off the bus!), and the lobby staff did a great job of welcoming us and recognizing that we looked like newbies and easing us into the resort. Once we got into our room (1137, Garden View Prude side), we immediately set out unpacking everything, setting up our room, and preparing our door (using painter’s tape to tape up a pen and a notecard for people to write notes for us, and our LoveVoodoo info card). In the future, we’re going to bring a small magnetic dry erase board.
NEWBIE NOTE: When planning a trip to Hedo, read the packing lists the veterans have taken the time to compile. They know that of which they speak.
There were only a few things we brought and did not use, including pool floats (easier to use the ones at the resort), and aloe; we tanned in preparation and didn’t need it, although we enjoyed offering it to a pretty girl who came back to our room…
After unpacking, we decided to go for an exploratory walk around the resort, and I suggested we simply go out in the nude, to which Mrs. Timid responded that she wasn’t ready yet. So, out in bathing suits we went. We sauntered through the prude side and noticed how few people we saw at the prude pool and beach. Was this the fabled Hedonism? Where was the party? Where were the people? We were soon to find out.
So, as we hit the beach and bore right at the docks, we began to see more and more people. Then we saw the sign that declared that “no clothing was allowed beyond this point,” whereupon we dutifully disrobed. From that point forward, our REAL Hedo vacation began, and we never looked back! Nudity felt natural and comfortable and with really rare exceptions (groundskeepers caught off-guard by Mrs. Timid in the buff, or “smokes” salesmen on the beach) the looks we got were respectful and nonchalant. It’s a level playing field when everyone’s naked!
That night we dressed up, enjoyed dinner at the buffet, and watched the show. The piano bar was closed, but the Hurricane club was pretty hopping. It was PJs and Pasties night, and Mrs. Timid was dressed sexy in red glitter star pasties under a mesh and lace teddy, so off to a private bed by the exercise rooms we went, whereupon we proclaimed our arrival at Hedo with a nice bout of hot sex. We got to flaunt our exhibitionism early!
NOTE FOR NEWBIES: We discovered that the Hurricane Club tends to be more packed and “happening” when the Piano Bar isn’t open. However, if you go one place and it’s not busy with people, just keep walking around. There’s a party somewhere! Try the Club, the Piano Bar, or the Nude Pool/Hottub.
The only other event of note was that at some point in the evening, the wife turned to me and said, “We’re coming again next year, right?” This was shortly after we ran into a couple on their third trip to Hedo who, hearing it was our virgin trip, said simply “welcome home.” That felt so good and kind and natural, and really sums up the friendly atmosphere of the place.
Wednesday, July 23rd
Mrs. T woke up sweaty and a bit dehydrated, having underestimated the power of the comforter on our bed (from this point on, she slept beneath two sheets and I slept partially beneath one). After breakfast and a lot of water, we worked out at the gym (nice facility!), walked to Sandals and took our “We are staying at Sandals” pictures, and then headed over the nude-side pool for some good, clean, adult drinking. The friends we travelled down to Hedo with hit up the Booze Cruise (with Cocktails International) and met many fun people, but we stayed behind – we couldn’t afford the financial hit (over $100 per couple) – but we had a lot of fun in the nude pool just drinking and chatting with people. That night we ate at Martino’s (highly recommended!) and after dinner the Mrs. participated in the Fetish Night costume competition and earned some Hedo bucks. After that, we hung out in the nude hot tub before retiring to our room at a respectable hour of 1am.
NOTE FOR NEWBIES (specifically from Mrs. Timid): Participate in as many competitions as you can (Hedo bucks are fun to collect and you don’t know how bold you can be until you are wearing only vinyl strips, fishnets and boots and decide to remove your thong on stage in front of the dinner crowd!). Be warned though: they will make you strike poses, dance or imitate sexual positions—all of which can be quite fun, but try not to be the first person in line or you have no warning or time to think of a pose, etc. Also, do NOT compete in a 30-minute Jamaican dance lesson and competition on stage in front of the dinner crowd if you are wearing only pasties on top… and you are anything above a B-cup. Mrs. Timid’s D-cups were NOT enjoying the constant bouncing, no matter what the audience may have thought!
Thursday, July 24th
Today was a big day of fun, frolicking and fornication. In the morning, we intended to walk all the way past Sandals and see how far the beach went, but a quick dip in the nude pool to cool off beforehand turned in to a full day on the nude side.
NEWBIE NOTE: Be prepared for your plans to change. It’s way more fun to go with the flow! Just try not to miss a meal entirely, especially if you are hitting the rum hard… friends of ours tried that one.
So, I drop into the nude pool and order our morning drink (Dirty Banana) and wait for the Mrs. to join me. Ten minutes and later, I wonder why the Mrs. hasn’t returned. I look to the nude beach to find that she has been roped in to a game of Bocce Ball by the very hot and sexy wife of an attractive couple. I, of course, exited the pool and joined the game. Most of the next six hours were spent in the nude pool, drinking, playing sexy games, flirting, and occasionally participating in mild debauchery (How many guys getting blowjobs can you line the side of the pool with? You have to go to Hedo to see. For the timid among you, every girl was with her man, so it wasn’t even swinging!). The Mrs. and I also entered the LoveVoodoo couples contest and came in third, winning a bottle of rum, lifetime membership on LoveVoodoo, and a T-shirt. (We had to put on a 3-minute show which was honestly fun!) When a rainstorm moved in, the Mrs. suggested to a few friends we had made that they come back to our room, whereupon they agreed. Major debauchery we shall not mention commenced.
It was a good afternoon.
Thereafter we engaged in what would become a daily ritual: the late afternoon nap, followed by a shower and an hour of television for Mr. Timid while Mrs. Timid showered and dolled herself up for the theme of the night. That night was our first at the piano bar, although we had to wait around for over an hour while the staff put the wires back together, since apparently a Cocktailer-who-shall-remain-nameless had come into the piano bar the night before and used the sound system to create their own party. We sincerely hope the Cocktailer in question received an ample number of spankings as punishment.
Friday July 25th
A pretty chill, down day overall. We experienced the pain of our first set of good-byes, as we watched some newly-found friends from Cocktails International head home (If anyone knows whether M and C got back just fine, please let us know…we’re worried they missed their flight!). We were introduced to proper departure procedure and dutifully took our place up on “Moon Hill” for antics your grandmother might not approve of. In any case, we hung out at the pool, nude beach, and Hurricane club, but otherwise kept it low-key in an attempt to rest up. Eight days is a marathon, ya know.
Saturday July 26th
Today we walked down the 7-mile Negril beach, all the way until a fence and downed tree stopped us (there is a villa you can rent there). We met a few locals, were offered ample “smokes,” and checked out the shopping at the pavilion of stores next to Sandals, or whatever that other place is called. It wasn’t Hedo, that much is certain!
NEWBIE NOTE: You might not like “negotiating” for prices, but that’s pretty standard operating procedure in Jamaica. Determine before a shopping trip which one of you is the best negotiator, and let THAT person do the talking. Bartering may be easier than you think. Simply starting to walk away or saying “that’s a bit more than we wanted to spend…” can quickly get you a better offer.
In any case, after the shopping trip we went back to our pattern of beach-pool-nap-dinner (at Martino’s again), and then ended up getting into the only situation we regret getting into at Hedo. We won’t supply details, but suffice it to say, it fell short of our hopes because they were selfish and we should have listened to our gut instincts. Live, learn, move on.
NEWBIE NOTE: Go with your gut. If your instincts tell you a situation isn’t what you want, then listen. Listen, I tell you!
Sunday July 27th
Uh oh. Slight hiccup: The Mrs. woke up with post-nasal drip and a scratchy throat.
NEWBIE NOTE: When experienced Hedo goers advocate packing all sorts of medications, LISTEN. Bring preventative meds, too, like Echinacea, and take it daily (you might kiss a stranger once or twice). We packed all sorts of medicine for all sorts of potential issues, and we are glad we did. A few pills later, and the Mrs. was feeling a lot better. Still, the next three days we’d throttle down a notch, just in case.
We spent most of Sunday sitting on lounge chairs on the nude beach, or floating in the water on one of the many Hedo rafts, talking with random people and making new friends. Let us just tell you that there is little on Earth that compares to floating naked, drink in hand, talking with friendly, sexy people about anything and everything, with no cares as to what time (or even day) it is, under a Jamaican sun. If there is a heaven, we’ve just found what we’d like it to be. After our necessary nap, we headed for dinner with our close friends, then headed off to the piano bar with some other very sexy people we had met earlier the day before on the beach, and whom we’d spoken with most of today. In fact, we’re hoping they become friends we meet with often, and maybe make the trip down with next year…something neither the Mrs. nor I thought would happen at Hedo, but it did.
NEWBIE NOTE: You might meet lifelong friends at Hedo. Roll with it, and be sociable. You never know what will happen! Just remember that “gut” thing.
The night closed very well, but we don’t kiss and tell. Or lick and tell. Or…
Monday July 28th
Started the day by watching our new friends leave, and an hour later seeing our close friends whom we had travelled down with leave, so it was a bit of a downer morning. Afterwards, we decided to shake up our routine by snorkeling, which is free if you don’t take the boat out. So we got our gear and headed out into the waters on the prude-side beach. Oh. My. God. We had so much fun! We swam with fishes, saw numerous types of fish, a lobster, several starfish, and even felt the crackling electricity of either an eel or a ray. Here again we met very nice people who chatted with us easily and shared observations of what they had seen, as well as where to go to find other cool things to see.
NEWBIE NOTE: Go snorkeling. It isn’t the Grand Reef, but it’s free and fun. Plus, you can snorkel naked! Do apply (and re-apply) sunscreen to your back.
The rest of the day we felt somewhat anchorless and lost, because our close friends had left and we had no one to eat meals with. Plus, with the transition from one week to another, we didn’t feel like we knew the new crowd as well; something we completely acknowledge was our fault and no one else’s. Frankly, we needed some time away from the massive party socialization we’d had the past five days, and we never put our back into getting to know the AWOL crowd. From what we could tell, they were fun and sexy people, and exceedingly friendly. Oh well, that gives us something to look forward to next year! In any case, we ended up mostly floating in the water again, talking, and then heading into the pool for an hour or so. Of particular note was the fun couple we met who had come over from another resort on a day pass to Hedo, who extended their stay into the evening and gave many of the Hedo swingers a run for their money. We’ve heard that sometimes “Daypassers” can be wilder than Hedoers, and we can confirm that some of them can be pretty damned wild! They were good peeps. At dinner that night, seated at a table of 6 with new friends – ok, so we did socialize SOME – we were both called up on stage to learn “Jamaican dance moves.” This entailed dancing for a good 30 minutes, sweating our asses off, and earning more Hedo bucks (The Mrs. came in third again. Notice a pattern?).
NEWBIE NOTE: On Pirates and Booty/Jamaican night, do NOT wear only pirate pasties on your bewbies, ladies. Dancing on stage with no breast support can be hazardous to your health. Seriously.
That night, the Mrs. and I turned in around 2, and actually did NOT have sex. Hey, everyone needs a break from time to time, right?
Tuesday, July 29th
Last day at Hedo. We walked back to the shops near Sandals, and on this trip more than any other we noticed what was so different at Sandals, besides the no-nudity thing: people at Sandals weren’t talking. Couples weren’t talking to each other, nor to other couples. Everyone was sitting apart, alone in their own little world. Granted, that might be what THEY want out of a holiday, but the Mrs. and I quickly concluded that we would be bored off our asses at a place like that. To each their own! So we went shopping for the requisite trinkets for our kids, then we ended our walk with the required pictures on the Hedonism sign (much sexier than our Sandals pics!). After lunch we went back to hang out at the nude beach and float on the water again. Since avoiding sunburn was a factor we had to take into consideration, we stayed more to the shade than we had the previous few days, but we still managed to socialize and have fun. At dinner we met up with a nice couple we had been talking to for a few days at the Japanese restaurant, and we had a great meal there. A tip they taught us was: when getting an ŕ-la-carte restaurant reservation, go ahead and get a table for 4, so you can bring friends you meet that day with you, or invite those who forgot to get reservations to sit with you. After another bout in the nude pool and a few body shots off of other women’s bodies later, off we went back to have some frolicking fun. Another great day in Paradise!
NEWBIE NOTE: Use suntan lotion liberally, or get a base tan before coming. Or both.
Wednesday, July 30th
Departure day. The dreaded walk to the buses, the sad drive back, and the unbearable flight home (during which we started this journal as a way of prolonging the magic via nostalgia). The customs officer in the U.S. smiled at us and said “Welcome home,” which tugged on the Mrs.’ heart-strings yet again, remembering hearing those same words back at Hedo. By the time we were hugging our kids we were in full shell-shock mode, and eating dinner at home that evening the Mrs. kept looking around for Winston and the Entertainment Crew. To be sure, we were happy to see our kids again, but the fact that we had been SO relaxed and had SO much fun at Hedo was made more apparent by being dropped unceremoniously back into that thing we call “real life.”
Our depression still hasn’t completely dissipated. We’re making “purple rain” drinks tonight, but that will be a poor substitute.
NEWBIE NOTE: The degree to which you will be sad when leaving Hedo stands in inverse relation to the amount of fun you had there. Be prepared.
Conclusion
So, to conclude, we had a fantastic, freaky, fun time at Hedonism, and we cannot wait to get back. In fact, we will bend heaven and earth to return, and have already started saving up and buttering the appropriate baby-sitter egos. Wish us luck!
Our Positives:
-We relaxed. A lot. We’re not even sure if the word “relaxed” encompasses the truth of what we experienced. Is there a stronger synonym?
-Had amazing sex
-Met lots of awesome people
-We relaxed in the sun and got tons of vitamin D, the true happy juice!
-My wife’s faith in the power of bisexuality, which had been waning, was re-kindled. They know who they are.
-We spent so much time doing nothing important or consequential, and loved every freaking minute of it.
-The wifey and I spent almost every waking moment together, and it did our already amazing relationship no end of good. So much quality spouse time!
-Did we mention we socialized a lot? So many cool, friendly, sexy people.
-We were naked for 90% of 8 days. Naked for the win!
-Mrs. Timid took the lead a lot more than she normally does, and even got up on stage several times. She grew more assertive as the week went on, which is an area of growth for her.
-Orgasms. Lots of orgasms. Some were even ours.
-We relaxed and laughed a lot.
-Snorkeling.
-Fun. Fun. Fun. And lots of laughter.
-The resort was awesome, the staff were awesome, and we were waited on hand and foot. Kudos to the staff of Hedonism!!!
Negatives
-Not going with our gut led to a situation that left some feelings of insecurity when one of us was treated as an “afterthought.” That’s not how we operate, and we’ll never ignore our guts again.
-The maid staff usually held a conference outside our door at 9am, thus making sleeping in pretty hard. This was our ONLY complaint about the resort staff. We already let them know.
-Our bathroom ceiling started leaking on our second to last night there. They caulked but it happened again our last night. Hopefully they get that repaired, but it didn’t really impact us much.
-The post-nasal drip stuff.
-Leaving Hedo.
Hope this helps! Feel free to ask questions of us!
-The Timidtwo
SLS/Lovevoodoo- Timidtwo5
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Originally Posted by The Timidtwo
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I agree with pacing yourself with the drinks, a sloppy person is NOT sexy 
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