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Thread: Forget the feeling of regular Mondays with a little humor. Monday's Sex jokes!

  1. #31
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Here's todays joke

    What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob?
    "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"

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  2. #32
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Here's a little question


    “A man and a woman were approaching their 50th wedding anniversary. To celebrate, the woman decided she would cook a big dinner for her husband. Then he said they should do what they did on their wedding night, and eat at the dinner table naked. The woman agreed.
    On their anniversary night, at the table, the woman says,
    "Honey, my nipples are as hot for you as they were 50 years ago."
    The man replies,
    "Madge, hon, that's because they are sitting in your soup.”


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  3. #33
    Registered User hedolovers2019's Avatar
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    I saw a friend of mine at the main dinning room bar and he was slinging back shot after shot. I asked what he was doing and he said I am celebrating my first blow job. I told him that was great and said I will get you another shot. He said if 10 shots wouldn't get the taste out of his mouth he didn't think the 11th would help either..
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  4. #34
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Jajaja great!

    Quote Originally Posted by hedolovers2019 View Post
    I saw a friend of mine at the main dinning room bar and he was slinging back shot after shot. I asked what he was doing and he said I am celebrating my first blow job. I told him that was great and said I will get you another shot. He said if 10 shots wouldn't get the taste out of his mouth he didn't think the 11th would help either..
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  5. #35
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Do you think this is true?

    Q. What do you call an intelligent, good looking, sensitive man?
    A. A rumor

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  6. #36
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Sarah goes to school, and the teacher says,
    "Today we are going to learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"
    Sarah waves her hand,
    "Me, Miss Rogers, me, me!"
    Miss Rogers says,
    "All right, Sarah, what is your multi-syllable word?"
    Sarah says, "Mas-tur-bate."
    Miss Rogers smiles and says,
    "Wow, Sarah, that's a mouthful."
    Sarah says,
    "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."

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  7. #37
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    What do you prefer?

    Q. What's worse than getting raped by Jack the Ripper?
    A. Getting fingered by Captain Hook.

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  8. #38
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    For today's joke

    I had a visitor one night… he explored my body… licked, sucked, swallowed & had his fill… when satisfied he left… I was hurt…
    Damn mosquito!!!


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  9. #39
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    It's monday and you need to smile!

    A blonde decides to get a porno movie, so she goes to the store and picks one with a fairly dirty title.
    When she puts the DVD in and presses 'PLAY,' the screen is fuzzy and nothing is going on.
    Frustrated, she calls the store about the movie. They ask her what the title is,
    and she replies, "Head Cleaner".


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  10. #40
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    A French monk wrote a manifesto stating that every woman would agree to sell her body for money. The manifesto was read by the Queen of France and she invited the monk for a chat.
    - So, you're stating that every women would agree to sell herself?
    - Yes.
    - Me too?
    - Of course.
    - And how much do you think I would cost?
    - 500 francs.
    - What?! Only 500 francs?!
    - Here you go - you've already started to negotiate.

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  11. #41
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    A common thing at Temptation

    The sex was so good that even the neighbors had a cigarette.


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  12. #42
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    And for today's joke...

    Unexpected sex, the best thing to wake up, unless you're in prison...


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  13. #43
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    And for today a gastronomic joke

    Q: What’s the difference between being hungry and horny?
    A: Where you put the cucumber.

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  14. #44
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    The Flashlight

    A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
    After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says,
    "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
    The woman says,
    "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"


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  15. #45
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    Q: What did Boy George say to Micheal Jackson?
    A: "You Beat It, and I'll cumma cumma cum."

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