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Thread: Forget the feeling of regular Mondays with a little humor. Monday's Sex jokes!

  1. #1
    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Wink Forget the feeling of regular Mondays with a little humor. Monday's Sex jokes!

    We all know that Mondays are the worst and the most boring day of the week, It's the day where you have more work, you have a meeting or you are about to do your the check out of our Resort (or maybe, you are already waiting for your flight at Cancun's Airport), that's why we want to help you to take out that awful feeling, and we decided to create this thread.

    A husband and wife are trying to set up a new password for their computer.
    The husband puts, "Mypenis," and the wife falls on the ground laughing because on the screen it says,

    "Error. Not long enough."

    Visit our website to know how are our Mondays at Temptation with "The Brazilian Night"
    Believe us, is the best way to spend a the first day of the week.
    Temptation Resort & Spa
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    Here's today's joke.

    The elderly Italian man went to his parish priest and asked if the priest would hear his confession.
    "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    "Well, Father, at the beginning of World War Two, a beautiful woman knocked on my door and asked me to hide her from the Germans; I hid her in my attic, and they never found her." "That's a wonderful thing, my son, and nothing that you need to confess," said the priest.
    "It's worse, Father; I was weak, and told her that she had to pay for rent of the attic with her sexual favors," continued the old man.
    "Well, it was a very difficult time, and you took a large risk -you would have suffered terribly at their hands if the Germans had found you hiding her; I know that God, in his wisdom and mercy, will balance the good and the evil, and judge you kindly," said the priest. "Thanks, Father," said the old man. "That's a load off of my mind. Can I ask another question?" "Of course, my son," said the priest.
    The old man asked, "Do I need to tell her that the war is over?".

    Visit our website to know how are our Mondays at Temptation with "The Brazilian Night"
    Believe us, is the best way to spend a the first day of the week.
    Temptation Resort & Spa
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    Resort Representative DesireRep's Avatar
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    Hi everyone, we want to know your opinion about this little joke.


    Q: How do you make your girlfriend scream while having sex?
    A: Call her and tell her.



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    Here's today's joke.



    What did one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? "We better get some support before someone thinks we're nuts!"



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    Here's today's joke!



    A man walks into a cocktail lounge and approaches an attractive lady sitting by herself and asks "May I buy you a drink?"
    "No, thank you", she replies, "alcohol is bad for my legs."
    "Oh, sorry to hear that. Do they swell?"
    "No, they spread."



    Happy monday and we wish you to have a great week.
    If you are coming to Temptation click here to see our schedule for this week.
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    Take off that boring face, and smile, you almost come to Temptation to watch the World Cup 2014


    The teacher asked Jimmy,
    "Why is your cat at school today Jimmy?"
    Jimmy replied crying,
    "Because I heard my daddy tell my mommy, 'I am going to eat that pussy once Jimmy leaves for school today!'"


    We want to meet you at Temptation and watch all the World Cup Games here, that's why we made this special deal for you.
    45% Off + Free Tour to Isla Mujeres
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    Here's a philosophical thought...


    Three people having sex is a threesome.
    Two people doing it is called a twosome.
    So why is "handsome" a compliment?



    Don't forget that this is the last week of a few promos of Temptation Resort & Spa.
    Stay tuned of our publish and don't miss the opportunity of save some money for you next visit.
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    What do you think of this one?

    A man went over to his girl's place for a little bit of nookie between the
    sheets. He presented her with three choices of condom -- gold, silver, or
    bronze.

    "Silver," she said.

    "Why not gold?"

    "Because I want you to come second for once!"

    You're still on time for this special promo!
    Don't waste more time, book here and get
    45% Off + Free Tour to Isla Mujeres
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    Here's the joke of this week, we hope you like it.

    A man asks his wife during a 25 marriage anniversary:
    - Darling, have you been unfaithful to me?
    - Yes, honey, three times.
    - When was the first time?
    - Do you remember the situation when you went to a bank, but nobody would give you any credit? And finally the CEO of the bank himself signed the credit allowance to you.
    - Thanks, darling. And when was the second time?
    - Do you remember when you were very ill and nobody would agree to make the surgery for you? And finally the head of the department took care of you?
    - Thank you darling, you saved my life. And with whom have you been unfaithful to me for the third time?
    - Do you remember when you were a candidate to the position of city mayor and you were missing 36 votes?

    Have you been unfaithful? If has been, why and how many times?



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    Here's an adult joke, to realize today's tension.


    A husband comes home to find his wife with her suitcases packed in the living room.
    "Where the hell do you think you're going?" he says.
    "I'm going to Las Vegas. You can earn $400 for a blow job there, and I figured that I might as well earn money for what I do to you free."
    The husband thinks for a moment, goes upstairs, and comes back down, with his suitcase packed as well.
    "Where do you think you going?" the wife asks.
    "I'm coming with you...I want to see how you survive on $800 a year!!!"


    You still have time to come to the Temptation with our world cup promotion.
    Book now and get 45% off.
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    Ladies, what do you think about this little joke.



    Why do women close their eyes during sex?
    They can't stand to see a man having a good time.



    Come to Temptation Resort & Spa and have a good time with our activities.
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  12. #12
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    No more boring mondays!


    “A few months after his parents were divorced, Little Johnny passed by his mom's bedroom and saw her rubbing her body and moaning,
    "I need a man, I need a man!"
    Over the next several months, he saw her doing this often. One day, he came home from school and heard her moaning differently.
    When he peeked into her bedroom, he saw a man on top of her.
    Little Johnny ran into his room, took off his clothes, threw himself on his bed, and started stroking himself, moaning,
    "I need a bike! I need a bike!”

    You don't need to moan to get the best deal for the Oktoberfest
    you just have to click here to get 40% off
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    http://dsr.re/d1wLet's have some humor for the start of the week.

    A hippie gets onto a bus and sits next to a nun in the front seat. The hippie looks over and asks the nun if she would have sex with him.

    The nun, surprised by the question, politely declines and gets off at the next stop. When the bus starts again, the bus driver says to the hippie, "If you want, I can tell you how you can get that nun to have sex with you."

    The hippie of course says that he'd love to know, so the bus driver tells him that every Tuesday evening at midnight the nun goes to the cemetery to pray to the lord. "If you went dressed in robes and some glowing powder," says the bus driver, "You could tell her you were God and command her to have sex with you."

    The hippie decides to try this out. That Tuesday, he goes to the cemetery and waits for the nun. Right on schedule, the nun shows up. While she's in the middle of praying, the hippie walks out from hiding, in robes and glowing with a mask of god. "I am God, I have heard your prayers and I will answer them but you must have sex with me first," he says.

    The nun agrees but asks for anal sex so she might keep her virginity. The hippie agrees to this and quickly sets about having sex with the nun.

    After the hippie finishes, he rips off his mask and shouts out, "Ha ha, I'm the hippie! "

    The nun replies by whipping off her mask and shouting, "Ha ha, I'm the bus driver!"


    We are a few weeks away of the Oktoberfest at Temptation, do you have your reservation?, If not check out our promo
    Book now and get the 40% Off+ 4th Night Free + Airport round trip shuttle Included!
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    Here's some humor to start this week.



    Why did the snowman smile?
    "Because the snowblower is coming."




    In just a few days we'll be having the wildest party of all the Cancun, don't miss the opportunity of be part of it.
    Book here and get 40% Off + 4th Night Free + Round trip shuttle!
    if you appreciate the existence of this forum, book through the links provided here as a way to thank the owner and support the existence of it.
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    Here's a question for all the girls of the forum

    Q: Why do men get their great ideas in bed?
    A: Because their plugged into a genius!


    You still on time to book with our special promo.
    Click here for booking



    if you appreciate the existence of this forum, book through the links provided here as a way to thank the owner and support the existence of it.

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