CandS return to Hedonism (Aug 8 -15, 2013)
Preface
Although this is not a first time trip report, it will likely read like a newbie's account since our last trip to Hedo II was some 14 years ago.
Getting there
Booked our vacation through Air Canada Vacations and had a direct YYZ (Toronto) to MBJ at 10:00 am. After an uneventful flight we arrived at Sangster on schedule at a little after 1:00 pm. Immigrations lines weren't exactly busy so we were through in approximately 25 minutes. Baggage claim and customs lines were also light so add on an additional 15 minutes and we were land side.
Checked in with our vacation rep and was directed outside the terminal to access our transportation (our package included round trip transfers – JTL). Grabbed a couple of Red Stripes and waited approximately 10 minutes before being sent over to our bus. The bus idled for an additional 10 minutes or so, after which we were on our way to Negril.
The route out of Montego Bay was snarled with traffic generated by a number of cruise ships docked in the harbour. The initial traffic coupled with bleak weather and a couple of accidents made for a bus ride of 2+ hours. Mercifully we only made a couple of stops before arriving at Hedo II.
Check-in
We of course, left all the pertinent reservation information back home in an envelope on the kitchen table. Had to use the back office PC to collect and print out our reservation voucher before we could check-in. Once that was accomplished we filled in our paperwork while sipping on a couple of Yellow birds. All in all, check-in was quick and painless. Ditto check out.
The room
We were assigned room 1111, which is an ocean view room on the prude side. Although we spent the entirety of our stay on the nude side of the resort, the location of room 1111 served us fairly well being a short stroll along the beach to nude beach/pool/hot tub. Room 1111 has not been remodeled but it did have a new mattress as well as flat screen TV. The air conditioner worked well and the shower (after a little coaxing) had hot water.
It's clear that the resort has little choice but to remodel the rooms. Fixtures both bedroom and bathroom are really showing their age. That said, if you have measured expectations (and anyone who's done even minimal research should) you can tough it out in one of the older rooms for a week.
We had a look at the remodeled rooms both ground floor and second floor and won't belabour the obvious, suffice to say that they are a vast improvement over the old rooms.
Since occupancy was light the renovations are proceeding along at a fairly brisk pace. Several blocks of rooms on the nude side, both ocean view and garden view were being remodeled.
Several people we spoke with during the week were moved from their rooms to facilitate the renovations (often only a couple of doors down from their original room). Considering the low occupancy levels the resort could have done a better job on this front. Why put someone in a room you plan to demolish/renovate during the course of their stay? Why only move them a couple of doors down so the construction noise is a bother?
Food & Beverage
We cannot contrast the changes in food and beverage since the gap between our initial stay and our return visit is vast.
We will say that the buffet (breakfast, lunch and dinner) has something for everyone. Quality wise the food is perfectly acceptable and often times quite good with the Jamaican dishes being the high point. Ate at both Harry-San and the Italian restaurant (can't recall the name) and they were decent. The best food of the week was served at the repeat offenders get together (easier to cook for 30-40 than several hundred).
The beach grill was a great, tasty jerk chicken or fish, fries, grill cheese and pizza. Basic comfort food is always welcome, particularly when it saves you a walk to main dining room from the nude pool.
Overall, people tend to lose track of the fact that the resort has to cater to a wide variety of tastes. Some things end up a little bland (pasta & sauce station) but that's the way some people like it.
In terms of beverage service there are premium brands to be had (within reason of course, they're not going to be stocking Macallan 25 anytime soon) all you have to do is ask. The main bar and the piano bar having the best selection. Once you asked for a premium brand once or perhaps twice that's what you'll get when you place your next order.
Water sports
We can't say much, if anything about it. Aside from exchanging beach towels, we really didn't have any interaction with the staff. A number of divers we spoke with did mention that the dive staff are excellent.
Beach & Pool
Our comments are strictly confined to the nude beach & pool since we didn't spend any time on the prude side. The beach chairs and floats on the beach and the pool are both new and abundant (the latter maybe a function of the low occupancy). The staff, from the beach staff to the grill staff and the bar staff are uniformly outstanding. The only two staff members that we can recall from our previous trip are Augustus and Scumba. Both are still going strong.
The security staff also did a decent job keeping the gawkers at bay and enforcing the nude on the nude side rule, at least during the day.
ECs and theme nights
The entertainment coordinators are almost superhuman. They work nearly 16 hours a day, six days a week and still manage to be pleasant and engaging. They also do a great job of keeping things entertaining for those who like to participate and those of us who like to sit back and relax.
The theme nights were very well attended with Naughty School girl, Pirate night and Pasties and Pajamas being the most popular.
The staff
Our praise for the EC's extends pretty much across the board to all of the staff. The front desk staff, bartenders, grounds staff, dining room staff etc… were all very accommodating and pleasant. This is not to say that everything was perfection from a service perspective. That said the effort was always there and if there was an issue an honest attempt to solve it was forthcoming.
We should also note that Harry, the new owner/CEO was onsite pretty much during our entire stay. We had the opportunity to speak with briefly him at the repeat offenders night and he seemed genuinely interested in guest feedback. This attitude contrasts sharply with the mostly perfunctory hotel management response to guest input.
The guests
Along with the staff, the guests are what make Hedo II such a quirky, delightful and titillating place to visit. During our stay (or parts thereof) two groups were on-site, the Bare Ass Buccaneers and a group from Char travel. We were in touch with the Buccaneers before arriving and spent a fair amount of time hanging out with them, a great group. The group from Char travel was likewise friendly and outgoing. We've been told that certain groups can get a little cliquey which definitely was not the case with the Buccaneers or the Char Travel group.
Hedo II is a great place to meet some interesting and outgoing folks in a no pressure, laid back atmosphere. We made the most of our week, be it floating around in the Caribbean, in the nude pool, over dinner and over drinks etc…
Grotto interruptus! – Vinnies and/or Wallies
A couple of days before we were set to leave there was an excellent thread about how single men should conduct themselves. The front desk at Hedonism II ought to print off that post, copy it and hand it out to every single guy that arrives at the resort.
We’re not certain what differentiates a Vinny from a Wally. So we'll stick to the term Vinny and anyone reading this half-assed report can substitute the correct term where necessary.
The Vinny issue is one part sad, one part funny and one part serious. Sad in that it defies logic that a guy who is omnipresent and always positioned, a few feet away no less, in the best vantage point to look directly at a women's crotch (some are breast men) somehow thinks this type of conduct is endearing.
The public shaming of these boors can be funny. To serve up one of our own anecdotes: On our last night we excused ourselves from the group with whom we were chatting in the hot tub to go have a little fun in the grotto. Normally we'd be content to stay in the hot tub, however among our group were a few people we suspected might be uncomfortable with a PDA. So we get to the grotto, the fun commences and almost immediately we've caught the eye of a Vinny. He eases his way out of the hot tub and makes his way into the misting pool - So far, so good. A moment or two later he decides he needs a better vantage point so he sets up shop immediately outside the entrance to the grotto – Again, so far, so good, one does give up a little privacy when public sex is involved. The hovering (and now masturbating) Vinny now goes all in and decides he should stumble in to the grotto and take up a seat directly next to us. Well at this point, I alert the herertofore unaware C to his presence (her view was obstructed ☺). We make a hasty retreat with C saying in a loud voice: "Are you fucking kidding me" or words to that effect. Of course this response elicits a great deal of laughing from the peanut gallery assembled in the nude pool and the hot tub. Enough, in fact, to drive Vinny back to his room for the evening.
We didn't take the episode seriously and it was all good for a laugh.
Which is where the serious part comes into the discussion, not everyone is that laid back. Many people, particularly those new to the concept of a naked (or naked with benefits) vacation are completely put off with this type of conduct. I wonder what type of influence Vinnies have on repeat business? I am certain that when a woman feels uncomfortable it is pretty much game over for a return trip.
We don't mean to suggest that every single guy is a cretin, far from it, in fact Vinnies are the exception rather than the rule. We met several single guys who were perfect gentlemen. Some of them made polite inquires about our interest (single guys are not our thing) and even when they were gently rebuffed they (like we) remained friendly. Not surprisingly these were the guys who tended to make out like bandits during their stays.
Going home
After a week of fun, sun, drink and more than a few laughs we reluctantly packed up and took the bus back to Sangster. The bus trip back seemed to go by in an instant compared to the trip to Hedonism II. The service was fine but next time we'd be tempted to hire a private taxi or perhaps take InterLair Air to save precious time. We had the front desk book us into the MoBay Lounge - $30 pp to fast track though customs, immigration and security along with food and drink in the lounge. In our opinion money very well spent, so much so we'd be tempted to use the arrival service as well.
Overall impression
This part will be brief. What are our overall impressions? Well we both started looking at prices for a return trip the morning after we returned home. That has to say something about the place or perhaps about us.
Reply With Quote
Originally Posted by taz454
Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 15th Annual Spring Fling April 9th - 16th, 2022 (We will be onsite 4/7/22 - 4/18/22) 
Bookmarks