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Thread: Clues that someone wants to play?

  1. #76
    Registered User sexylady's Avatar
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    Here are some of the clues that have worked when someone wanted to play with my wife:
    Staring, yes staring, but kind of soft smiling
    Responding to a hello - inviting for the next step of the conversation
    Most people don't ask my wife first, they ask me the husband, so get friendly with the man, if you after the wife or vice versa
    Couples that are hanging out waiting for something to happen - don't disturb couples that are already busy with themselves
    Husband leaves the wife alone for some to make an approach if they find the husband intimidating
    Those who have played before, will play again
    Get there first before someone gets there, and just ask, if any of the indicators above are available
    I hope these work - what is frustrating is someone staring and not coming over.
    Hedo 3 - 4th July week 2005
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    Hedo 3 - 4th July week 2009 ( closed now)
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    Coming Up 29th Oct - 6th Nov 2021.
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  2. #77
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    Well i hope we get asked, That is the reason for going to hedo as its supposed to be the nicest place where people dont judge you by looks as we are not the skinniest of people. Well with what i have read on this forum it seems that way..

    Lisa x
    Second time to Hedo April 6th 2016 come and say Hi!!!

  3. #78
    Registered User mac_r_a's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa+Sean View Post
    Well i hope we get asked, That is the reason for going to hedo as its supposed to be the nicest place where people dont judge you by looks as we are not the skinniest of people. Well with what i have read on this forum it seems that way..

    Lisa x
    Go with NO expectations of what is going to happen. We all hope some things will happen, but even if they don't, then you will still have an awesome vacation. If you meet someone you are interested in, ask them what they are into and that will get the conversation started
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  4. #79
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    Quote Originally Posted by Jointlock View Post
    We are back on 6/22 for our 4th trip in 5 years. We are lifestylers, and a direct but polite approach is fine. The Mrs. and I agree that upon check in the resort should issue (and it should be worn as a mandatory item while on property) a silicone bracelet for every guest. Color coded as follows: red: nudist couple only, green: lifestyle couple, both straight, half green - half pink: lifestyle couple wife is bi, orange: single vinnie or wally, and of course gold: single female unicorn !
    We have been exposed to various versions of this.. it invariably just muddies up the interactions.

    What many people seem to miss ( and in this thread as well ) is that for most people they are not in a simple category and if the question is posed " do you play", the implied subtext is asking if you want to play with the questioner.

    Our answer has always depended on who is asking the question and if we feel a connection potential there.

    Its kind of the elephant in the room here, is that except for those who have little or no criteria for selecting partners, the answer should always be.. it depends.

  5. #80
    Registered User brokenwife's Avatar
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    ok we're going on our 4 time there I say I'm clueless when it comes to women hitting on me just think people are just being nice and having fun I have been ask to play and my answer is always the same go ask my wife if says it o.k. I'm in. For some reason they just don't approach her we are in the lifestyle she only likes to play with women no guys so it limits us. We go there to party and have a great time love it there if something happens it happens.

  6. #81
    Registered User SamAndRose's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brokenwife View Post
    ok we're going on our 4 time there I say I'm clueless when it comes to women hitting on me just think people are just being nice and having fun I have been ask to play and my answer is always the same go ask my wife if says it o.k. I'm in. For some reason they just don't approach her we are in the lifestyle she only likes to play with women no guys so it limits us. We go there to party and have a great time love it there if something happens it happens.
    Agree with this!
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  7. #82
    Registered User brokenwife's Avatar
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    I have to reply to my husband's post on this. Yes he is clueless when a woman is into him at home or at Hedo. We only play clean (condom)and we have had some girls try to jump him without one on and we say no without one. Yes that was the only way he new that they were into him. lol We have meet some great people there and everyone is so friendly and I also have no Idea when someone is hitting on me, I am the quiet one so it goes both ways, I need a Here's your sign Can't wait to see everyone there. We will be the vacation alcoholics

  8. #83
    Registered User DelCouple's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by brokenwife View Post
    I have to reply to my husband's post on this. Yes he is clueless when a woman is into him at home or at Hedo. We only play clean (condom)and we have had some girls try to jump him without one on and we say no without one. Yes that was the only way he new that they were into him. lol We have meet some great people there and everyone is so friendly and I also have no Idea when someone is hitting on me, I am the quiet one so it goes both ways, I need a Here's your sign Can't wait to see everyone there. We will be the vacation alcoholics
    Soory but we had to laugh at you post.. We know you both very well and you hit the nail right on the head.. Hope we run into you in 2015!
    March 22-30 2013 Was our first trip of many to come. We had a blast with everyone, and I can see each trip getting better, and better.

    March 28th 2014 plans to be an even better trip then 2013!!

    March 27th 2015 hope to meet many old friends and make even more new friends

    March 24th to April 2nd. Runaway Repeaters & Swing Into Spring

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  9. #84
    Registered User pbartell's Avatar
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    And that would be me too...for me, anything milder than an uninvited lap dance and I'm clueless.

    Quote Originally Posted by brokenwife View Post
    I have to reply to my husband's post on this. Yes he is clueless when a woman is into him at home or at Hedo. We only play clean (condom)and we have had some girls try to jump him without one on and we say no without one. Yes that was the only way he new that they were into him. lol We have meet some great people there and everyone is so friendly and I also have no Idea when someone is hitting on me, I am the quiet one so it goes both ways, I need a Here's your sign Can't wait to see everyone there. We will be the vacation alcoholics

  10. #85
    Registered User Cdn_cpl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by sexylady View Post
    Here are some of the clues that have worked when someone wanted to play with my wife:
    Staring, yes staring, but kind of soft smiling
    Responding to a hello - inviting for the next step of the conversation
    Most people don't ask my wife first, they ask me the husband, so get friendly with the man, if you after the wife or vice versa
    Couples that are hanging out waiting for something to happen - don't disturb couples that are already busy with themselves
    Husband leaves the wife alone for some to make an approach if they find the husband intimidating
    Those who have played before, will play again
    Get there first before someone gets there, and just ask, if any of the indicators above are available
    I hope these work - what is frustrating is someone staring and not coming over.
    I (Mr Cdn) agree with most of what you say except for leaving my wife alone so someone can make an approach. If some wants to play alone with Mrs Cdn they need to approach when we're both there, be friendly with both of us and give me to comfort level I need if my wife is going to go off alone with them. I've seen people staring at her for a while and only approach when I leave to get a drink, as if they're hoping I won't notice. These people have zero chance of being with her, both her choice and mine.

  11. #86
    Registered User Cdn_cpl's Avatar
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    Quote Originally Posted by Lisa+Sean View Post
    Well i hope we get asked, That is the reason for going to hedo as its supposed to be the nicest place where people dont judge you by looks as we are not the skinniest of people. Well with what i have read on this forum it seems that way..

    Lisa x
    Works both ways, if there's someone you want to play with you can do the asking too . Some people send off a false signal that they don't want to be approached, maybe incorrectly perceived body language or being thought off as stuck-up because they're quiet or shy. Would be a shame to miss out on some fun if this were the case. Not saying this would be the case for you, don't know you but have seen this before in others.

  12. #87
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    So started this post years ago and just had fun going back and reading all the great responses. I, like many others, am still just has clueless as I ever was before on picking up signals by others or what I'm sending out. We've been a few times since I had posted this and my experience for the most part was that nobody was bold enough to just put the big question out there in a bold way. I love this concept though and would appreciate more of that so it can be out in the open. To be clear, my husband and I would be considered "soft swap" I think the term is. However we love the sexually charged atmosphere and do like to play a bit more with a couple we are friends with that travel with us. But... we aren't wanting to do as much as we do with them with anyone else... playful touching... yes but nothing more with others. What I personally have run into is uninvited touching/groping by men without an invitation going straight to my pink parts. Possibly these were random people that set a bad example... but maybe I have to consider I'm unintentially giving off signals... hence bringing back up this subject. When I'm naked and in this atmosphere with alcohol in me... just want to chill and have a good time and not worry about what I may or may not be doing. Flirting is fun... but also don't want to be a tease or bring unwanted groping as well or most importantly don't want to spend a moment worrying about it cuz I'm on vacation. Thoughts or personal experiences anyone?

  13. #88
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    Quote Originally Posted by sunandfun View Post
    So started this post years ago and just had fun going back and reading all the great responses. I, like many others, am still just has clueless as I ever was before on picking up signals by others or what I'm sending out. We've been a few times since I had posted this and my experience for the most part was that nobody was bold enough to just put the big question out there in a bold way. I love this concept though and would appreciate more of that so it can be out in the open. To be clear, my husband and I would be considered "soft swap" I think the term is. However we love the sexually charged atmosphere and do like to play a bit more with a couple we are friends with that travel with us. But... we aren't wanting to do as much as we do with them with anyone else... playful touching... yes but nothing more with others. What I personally have run into is uninvited touching/groping by men without an invitation going straight to my pink parts. Possibly these were random people that set a bad example... but maybe I have to consider I'm unintentially giving off signals... hence bringing back up this subject. When I'm naked and in this atmosphere with alcohol in me... just want to chill and have a good time and not worry about what I may or may not be doing. Flirting is fun... but also don't want to be a tease or bring unwanted groping as well or most importantly don't want to spend a moment worrying about it cuz I'm on vacation. Thoughts or personal experiences anyone?
    I don't think you should have to give off specific signals to avoid your pink parts being groped. I understand that things can have a sexually charged atmosphere and occasionally things get out of hand but really??? Maybe I'm old fashioned but I still think flirting can lead to some gentle touching which might lead to a kiss and some conversation but more than a couple signals should be sent and confirmed before going down that path. Sounds to me like you met a couple creepers more so than you are sending the wrong signals. My advice would be to be open about what you like and don't like. If someone does cross your boundaries, let them know so they don't do it again.

  14. #89
    Registered User Dee and Bruce's Avatar
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    Dee and I love the interaction and social aspect of the pool. So what we do do is mingle and chat with everyone. If we feel like we would like to play we simply ask if the other couple plays. And if so would like like to play with us!

    Bruce and Denise
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  15. #90
    Registered User sexylady's Avatar
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    The borderline between coming over (flirting, playing, fun, sleeping) and overcoming (groping, molesting) is consent. It is the responsibility of both parties to arrive at that stage of consent as to what is and what is not permitted. There is nothing like being direct - I am in it, not in it or partly in it and how far.
    Hedo 3 - 4th July week 2005
    Desire - July 2007 -
    Hedo 3 - 4th July week 2009 ( closed now)
    Hedo 2 - Lovevoodoo Nov. 2010,2011,2012,2013,2014 -
    No Swim Suit - March 2014, 2015, 2016, 2018 -
    4th July Week - July 2015,2016 - 5th March to 13th March 2016
    Feb17-25 2017. 27 Oct to 5th Nov 2017:
    Mar 2-11 2018; March 29-April 7 2019:
    Coming Up 29th Oct - 6th Nov 2021.
    www.amazon.com/author/venusshaw
    www.swingersexdiaries.com
    https://www.swingtowns.com/like/eroticavenus

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