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Thread: So many swingers sites, so few results?: Confessions of a swinger wife

  1. #1
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    So many swingers sites, so few results?: Confessions of a swinger wife

    My husband and I have been swingers for many years. We felt the need to explore each others' hidden sexual fantasies and when we read about the swinging lifestyle, we realized that we could actually do that together, without ever thinking about cheating. After the first few encounters with other couples we saw that we were enjoying it greatly. It took a few years tor us to be able to get rid of jealousy and express our most secret and dark desires to each other, no matter how wild and shocking they might sound at first. And help each other fulfill them. And then repeat the ones that we really liked.

    Now that we are very experienced, we can share our advice and insights with those who are starting their journey into swinging.

    One of the first questions new swingers are trying to find an answer to is: where to find like-minded people discreetly, to prevent family members, co-workers or vanilla friends knowing about your secret sex life?

    The obvious answer would be: swingers dating web sites. We have tried many. So many that we have lost track of most of our memberships. Here are the problems with swingers sites:

    The unpleasant truth is: most of them are a waste of time and money. Only few of them work. But to tell the difference, you have to actually try a lot of them.

    Here is why most swingers sites don't work:

    If it's a paid site, it has to have enough members in your area to entice you to join and purchase a membership. Having joined some of such sites, we discovered during a free trial that the number of members in our city is too small to warrant a payment.

    Many 'swingers' sites are a mixture of adult dating (singles looking for casual sex) and swinger dating. Which means that there are way too many single men, which in turn means that you will be propositioned by the people you don't want (unless you like single men).

    Fake profiles. Many men put up a fake "couple" or "woman" profile in order to get you into a sex chat or to send them explicit photos.

    Fake 'free sites'. Many swingers sites advertise themselves as 'free', but when you join, you find out that only basic features are free. In order to start communicating with other couples for real, you have to 'upgrade', that is, pay a fee.

    Bad user interface. We ran into some sites that looked interesting, only to find out that they were highly inconvenient to use: they were badly designed and difficult to navigate.

    So, after many years of using dozens of swingers websites (hundreds were abandoned after a trial), here are some recommendations that may save you lots of time:

    Paid site: http://adultfriendfinder.com
    The membership is huge. Although the site offers a mixture of adult dating and swinger dating, there are enough swinger couples there to justify paying the membership fee.There is a free trial, but you won't be able to contact anyone unless you upgrade. It has worked for us quite well.

    Free site: http://plentyoffish.com
    Huge member base. However, the site's focus is matchmaking, not swinger dating. From our experience, most 'swinger' couples there are newbies looking for a first experience with a single woman. A lot of them are confused and unsure about what they want. Nonetheless, we met a few real swinger couples there.

    Free site: http://fullofdesire.com
    Probably the only swingers site that fits our requirements: It's completely free (no hidden charges, no traps), and it is restricted to swinger lifestyle couples and women only. Single males are not accepted, and we noticed that fake profiles are removed when members complain about them.
    The site is simple and easy to use. It is not overloaded with explicit stuff. We find that we can contact as many members as we want, while being safely discreet at the same time.
    The only shortcoming is that fullofdesire.com is new and has not accumulated a large membership base yet. However, it is growing quite fast. We've been finding our playmates there lately, more than on any other site.

    Feel free to ask us anything you want regarding swinging lifestyle.

    Experienced Couple.
    Last edited by Dee Ebersbacher; 08-07-2012 at 06:33 PM.

  2. #2
    Registered User HedoJoe's Avatar
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    We are on many swinger sites. We have found that some are location specific meaning that there are more people in certain areas than others. We have found adultfriendfinder to have a lot of fake profiles and people who just want to see pictures. Don't get me wrong, there are some genuine people there. The site that we find to be best for us is swinglifestyle.com. It has people from all over the country, most of whom are genuinely seeking other play partners. In our opinion, the people that pay for sites are the ones who have a vested interest in what they are there for and more likely to be genuine than someone who creates a free profile.
    Joe & Ellen
    Desire Pearl - April 18-26, 2023
    Hedonism II - July 18-26, 2023
    Desire Pearl - September 5-13. 2023
    Nile Lifestyle Cruise - January 26 - February 8, 2024

    AFF & Kasidie- Empty_Nesters
    SLS - CT_empty_nesters
    SDC - emptynesters1
    http://www.sdc.com?ref=9857

  3. #3
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    That's interesting, Joe and Ellen, thank you for sharing your experience. We must say that we honestly tried the sls site, but it did not work well for us... may be we should give it a second chance. Unfortunately, we find that paid membership can be also obtained by the people you don't want to see, although it eliminates a lot of losers and fakers.

    What we like about fullofdesire.com apart from the fact that it's truly free is that they don't accept single men, therefore, it is a more couple- and women-friendly environment than most other sites. And there are less fake profiles.

    We still have a couple of paid memberships on other sites, but we will probably let them expire now that we are finding more playmates on fod.

  4. #4
    Registered User ColonelPanic's Avatar
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    fullofdesire seems to have 734 Canadian members and 717 US members. That's obviously a very small site, but it does seem to be popular with the Canadians, which may explain your better success. Unfortunately, the membership is too small for the US (23 members in my state, only one of which is anywhere nearby) and the navigation of the site needs a lot of work. As you said, it's a new site, so there's still time and room for improvement. For example, you can only put in one age for a couple. While many couples are very close in age, not all are.

    Nevertheless, I created a profile to help them along. Would certainly like to see their concept succeed.
    H2 Trip #10: June 14-30, 2014

  5. #5
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    Thank you Colonel for posting your comment. Yes, as I mentioned before, fullofdesire.com is very new and they do not hide that or the number of current members. However, we noticed that it started growing quite fast as people are spreading the word. We actually used 4 sites to contact couples in NYC before going there on a trip. We had success on aff and - on fullofdesire.com, despite their small size. We also like the Events feature where you can create an Event like on facebook and manage your guests, RSVP, etc. We use it mostly to organize our get-togethers in a swingers club.
    D.

  6. #6
    Registered User hkdilbert's Avatar
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    Yeah, the fullofdesire.com site does appear to be small, but we've put up a profile (same name as here) with the obligatory set of initial pics. I guess time will tell if there is enough of a membership (covering our geographic area) to make it worth following.

    Another site we've liked is www.TheAdultHub.com (also branded as www.dirty-david.com). The usual problem with single men not reading profiles exist there, but they are easy enough to ignore. While the site does appear to be focused in the UK and Spain we've been surprised in that we've gotten more answers about Thai destinations there than elsewhere (including here).

    All the best,

    C&T

  7. #7
    Registered User Caroline's Avatar
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    this is also een swingersite xxx

  8. #8
    Registered User Mark D's Avatar
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    I think that you have to change the engine where you look..there are so many!!
    Last edited by Mark D; 12-21-2012 at 11:47 AM.

  9. #9
    Registered User NorthernExposur's Avatar
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    For our money we've discovered that Swinger Social Network (http://www.swingersocial.com) has been the best choice for us for a couple of years. It's fairly good size in North America, but best of all is completely free...at least it has been for the past few years. The thing we like about it is that it has a really really good interface. It kind of looks and feels like Facebook. The chat and email are really easy to use. We find we can search, then chat, then email and finally meet other couples all online in just one spot. We have lots of profiles elsewhere, but we often find ourselves just asking them to set up a free profile on Swinger Social so we don't have to deal with crap with other sites. I'm sick of all the fake profiles on AFF and the constant crashing of SLS.

  10. #10
    Registered User lovetraveling's Avatar
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    Kasidie is a good site. Many from Colorado and Nevada and Arizona. More upscale, easy user interface, you can see who is viewing your profile.
    Swingular has lots from Utah and is the worst site to navigate and very user unfriendly.

  11. #11
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    We are primarily on SLS and AFF. While we have had some success, its not as much as we thought given we live in the biggest city on the country. We will try our naked hand at fullofdesire.com..thanks for that!

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    We are using AFF and fullofdesire.com and we are passive members of 7 or 8 (!) other sites, just in case. We are noticing that fullofdesire.com is growing faster now and we've been finding our playmates there lately, more than on any other site. What we like about it that it is very friendly, most members are real couples or women, and admins are removing fakes and single males very efficiently. We use the Events to organize our dates with other couples at swingers clubs, and it works for us. Rather than going to a swingers club on a Sat night hoping to hook up with someone, we do the hooking up by creating our Event (My Swinger Date) and we end up with 2-4 couples who are also going and if we click, we can play with them. And it's completely free (no upgrades required or other traps like on other sites).

  13. #13
    Registered User lovetraveling's Avatar
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    A word of caution about AFF. In the fine print you agree that they can post your profile, photos and all and any site they are afiliated with or own. I searched my username and found my profile of over 40 different sites, including some from Europe in foreign languages. I tested it and changed my profile and it was instantly changed on the ones I checked. I couldn't get off it fast enough. You may not care if that happens, but some site names are not what I would want to be associated with such as "YoungGirlsLookingForSex".


    Here is the list of sites that I found our profile on:
    adamevedating
    bangyoulater
    banners.dating_2dsite.xmatch
    Bigtitsmatch
    blacktrannydates
    butchfinder
    Casualencounters
    CasualSexTube
    chat.hushhushpersonals
    chicagolesbian.net
    dateforsex
    diverseme.xmatch
    Fcukfriends
    findsex
    Freesexblogs
    friendswithbenefits
    gaywomendating
    gayxxxdates
    GoSexNow
    Gosexzone
    Hook up in LA Magazine
    hotfriendsclub
    hotmatchpersonals
    http://rencontresbelgique
    iFuckbook
    iLesbian also has many, many sites with a location before iLesbian. i.e. lesbianbelgium
    iLesbians
    imcservices.penthousehookups
    imcservices.swingads
    LesbianPersonals
    loversenook
    Mates
    Mauritius Sex Partners
    One Night Stand Girls Magazine
    Passion
    playgirldating.com
    pornhubpersonals
    Radiant Dating
    redtubepersonals
    safesexmobile
    secure.megastar.net
    sexbook
    Sexthisweekend
    Trannydate
    ussexpartners
    xxxalley (not in English)
    Younggirlslookingforsex

  14. #14
    Registered User CopNkitten's Avatar
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    Trannydate?
    Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 15th Annual Spring Fling April 9th - 16th, 2022 (We will be onsite 4/7/22 - 4/18/22) http://www.kittennangel.com/

  15. #15
    Registered User MikeCarrie's Avatar
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    We are on SDC.COM, It seems to be the only one that has somewhat of a local membership. Very limited success.
    Mike & Carrie

    Going since 2012

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