Arrival
My husband and I were married at Couples Negril and then went to Hedo for our honeymoon. Nine of our awesome friends came to party with us and we’ll be talking about our trip for years to come!
At check-in we were upgraded from Ocean View Prude to Ocean View Nude – sweet!! I think it was because we were on our honeymoon, as no one else in our group was upgraded. We stayed in 2204, which looked out over the craft area, the volleyball court and the pier. It was very centrally located and an easy walk to pretty much anywhere on the resort. Now that we’ve stayed on the nude side, it’s tempting to pay for the upgrade next time we visit.
Our first afternoon, the staff delivered a plate of freshly cut fruit and a bottle of champagne as a honeymoon welcome gift. This was a great touch!
Diamond Dreams
It was really interesting to arrive and leave in the middle of the week, as opposed to a Saturday-Saturday trip. The first half of the trip overlapped with the Diamond Dreams group (also affiliated with the Gold-N-Dayz travel and Noble’s birthday bash groups). The group was pretty exclusive, but I never felt like I was given the cold shoulder. One night outside the disco they taught the ladies in our group how to pop our booties. The house DJ played awesome music in the afternoons by the prude pool. They brought in several entertainers, including porn stars and dancers. Apparently one of the stars shoved a baseball bat in her ***. (I wasn’t there, youtube it!) These people were sort of like mini-ECs in their own way. Most of them participated in the talent show on Thursday. The guys and girls paired up and did some highly erotic dancing. Crazy me didn’t stop to watch because I was looking for someone in our group. From what I saw, they were sexy!
The Fluffs
We heard about the Fluffs the entire week before they arrived. “Just wait til the Fluffs get here, that’s when it gets busy!” “This place will be packed! That’s when the party starts!” We were certainly not let down by the energy the Fluffs brought with them!
The larger group had lots of perks, but also a few predictable downsides, such as: towels were scarce, the nude bar ran out of nearly everything, and the pool turned into “people soup” (which for some people is a positive, as the atmosphere is much more lively).
However, these inconveniences were certainly made up for by the great vibe and entertainment the group brought in. The glow party on the prude pool deck on Saturday night was killer. They brought in upgraded tequila, vodka and tons of Red Bull for the main bar. The DJ played great, danceable music. There were two screens: one showed music videos and the other showed hardcore porn – hot! The prude pool had light up balloons and there was a body painter who was an incredible artist.
It was touching to see so many Fluffs run up to old friends – guest and staff alike – and have joyful reunions. They also have great extras like bead necklaces, custom hats and water bottles, and lots of Fluff decorations (rubber ducks and enormous inflatable penises for starters!). It’s clear this group has been coming to Hedo a long time and this is truly their week to let loose and get their crazy on. I would happily book with them if we go back to Hedo in July.
Other Stuff
We participated in a lot more events and contests this time around. Our goal was to earn enough Hedo Bucks to take home a bottle of rum, and we succeeded! We earned bucks for a waterslide run, playing naughty trivia, the wet t-shirt contest, another random lunch time event (where I actually won a second bottle of rum but gave it to a lady who worked way harder than me!) and participating in the fetish night costume contest. The average payout was 20-40 Hedo bucks, and you only need 300 for the rum. Pretty easy to accumulate in a week. We asked for a bottle of rum cream instead but were told they only did that at Hedo III. Bummer – should have noted that on my comment card.
Amoy and Fifty were my favorite ECs this trip. Amoy has a bit of a temper (she snapped on a guest one night during dinner and it was really uncomfortable) so I’m not sure how long she’ll be around, but she was funny and slightly crazy and overall added a lot of fun to our days on the nude beach. Fifty is just plain awesome (and sexy as hell). Great attitude, great entertainer.
The beach vendors and the massage ladies seemed a bit pushier this year. I think business is tougher in the low season so they have to work harder to make money.
We went snorkeling twice – once to the reefs and once to the caves. I think morning is a better time of day since there is less chance of rain and the water is calmer. We went in the afternoon both times and had choppy water. It’s also harder to see underwater when the sun is behind the clouds. My pro tip: wear a life vest! Sure it looks dorky but the whole experience is much more relaxing when you don’t have to work so hard to stay afloat. You can always take it off if you want to dive down.
A group of 3-4 single guys showed up the last few days of our trip. They were a bit predatory (for example, they came up to us in the hot tub and said “Hi ladies”, despite the fact that 2 of our guys were sitting there with us). I later chatted with one of them at the swim-up bar and he seemed really nice. I hope they had a good trip, but being a solo guy is hard enough, much less being with a group of them.
All of the smaller hot tubs, including the two hidden ones on the nude and prude side, and the hot tub by the prude pool, were busted the entire week we were there. This was such a bummer.
Room was always clean and we had hot water and good water pressure all week. We had a wonky mirror again this trip… maybe next time we’ll luck out and get one that isn’t made for a fun house.
My husband and I had AWESOME sex at the nude hot tub one night. Unfortunately, a creepy dude (who was apparently kicked out of the Fluffs some years back) kept inching closer and closer and touched my hand at one point. I snapped at him pretty hard (“Get out of my bubble! You’re killing my vibe!”) and then we moved to the bubble tub (the one between the pool and hot tub) and continued. We were having a great time doing doggy style, and I actually slipped off the edge of the tub at one point and gracelessly landed in the shallow wading pool below. We laughed pretty hard and went right back at it, and it was going good, and THEN creepy dude slowly walks by and keeps eye contact with us the entire time! Uuuuggnnngghhh, beat it punk! After that, my guy was skeeved out and he wasn’t able to finish. I was bummed walking back to the room but all was well once the door was firmly shut and creepy dude couldn’t intrude.
I had a lot more trouble staying awake this trip than the first one. I think I should have tried harder to take naps in the afternoon instead of relaxing or reading. Our group also tended to go to dinner early, and then there was some weird lag time between when we finished eating and when things started to get interesting. I think the party caught up to me the last few days (since we’d been at another resort for 4 days before coming to Hedo) and my body just wanted to shut down after 13 days of nonstop food and drinks. Next trip I’ll probably limit to 7 or 8 days so I don’t wear myself out. I also went to bed early one night about 2/3 of the way through the trip which was probably vital to me staying alive.
The waterslide was not running during our last trip (April 2011) so we were thrilled that it was working this time. Pro tip: wear bottoms for cushion, otherwise your butt might get a bit bruised. Pro tip #2: definitely go at night!
I had the chance to meet Delroy and Augustus this trip. They were delightful and I can see why people mention them so often in trip reports!
There were two rather negative experiences with drugs at the resort. Some people we knew did copious amounts of a drug (not pot) and had a rough day after. Another person tried to buy a specific type of pill and was given a cheap, less potent alternative. When she confronted the vendor he was surprisingly nice about it, and while he didn’t offer a refund, he gave her some different stuff as compensation. Pro tip: stick to mary jane and don’t bother with anything else!
Crabs… everywhere!! Almost every night we nearly stepped on a crab on the walkway outside of the rooms. Most scuttled away fast, but a few were cornered and looked pretty ferocious. One was on the wall outside of our room, a good 2-3 feet off the floor. First of all, since when could crabs climb friggin walls? Second, how did it make it all the way up to the second floor? I guess it climbed the wall :P
My final pro tip: Bring a huge plastic bag and throw it in the bottom of your beach bag. If/when it rains, just pull out the plastic bug, shove all your crap inside and tie the top. Voila, no sopping wet towels or items!
Memorable Moments
- Won a bottle of rum on Tuesday night for having the sexiest costume in the disco. Never thought I’d have the guts to get up and participate much less win the contest.
- Greeted multiple friends at check-in with smiles and drinks, and had a great time ordering them to strip on our way to the nude hot tub later that night!
- My friend ‘Stella’ blew us away with her performance on karaoke night. Goes to show that Hedo brings out the best in your friends.
- Rode a Sybian for the first, and hopefully not last, time.
- Played nude twister on the beach and got baby oil EVERYWHERE
- Played cards on the beach loungers with friends, and bravely attempted to play on one of the tables in the nude pool (worked about as well as expected, but we still had a blast)
- Made a raft fort in the nude hot tub during a downpour and played 'never have I ever' (we ran out of liquor very quickly!)
- Jerk chicken, grilled cheese, cheese fries, oh my! Plus I decided that I LOVE Jamaican ketchup! Next time I'm bringing a bottle home with me.
- Albert the professional body painter painted my back and butt one night. It took an hour and a half but it looked so cool when it was done.
- Met Ron Jeremy!
- Spanks tied up her underwear bottoms between the two palm trees right by the nude bar and left them there all week
- Participated in an impromptu water fight in the nude pool our last day. We had so much fun flinging rubber ducks at each other. I took out a few people with the blow-up penis!
Okay, this trip report is almost 2000 words so I’m off to pour myself a glass of wine and enjoy my Friday night! Thanks for reading.
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Originally Posted by PeasnapodX2
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