Her Review!
Our 2nd Hedo trip was really great. Being able to plan the trip without the whole "what if I get there and can't get naked thing" is soooo much better. If you are reading this report and are contemplating Hedo and have ANY reservations - please try not to. I promise once you get there and look around, you will be fine within 10 minutes tops. And if for some reason you are not, you can keep suits on and hang out at the prude pool/beach all day long if you want. Being clothing optional now, you will still see nudity, but you will not feel totally uncomfortable clothed there.
So we took off on the very early morning flight from JFK, which we like bc we get to Hedo by noon and have a full day. I usually sleep most of the flight and some of the bus, so I'm ok on sleep by the time we get there. Really quick through the airport, waited about 15 minutes for the bus to fill (all were going to Hedo). One Red Stripe stop and there we were. Check in was quick and our room was ready, which I was worried about since we were arriving on Sunday and I knew many were arriving w/ big groups the day before. We briefly contemplated upgrading from Prude Ocean to Nude garden, but decided not to for $35 a night. I was glad we didn't. Last year we did nude garden and it was fine, short walk to nude pool but longer walk to dining/disco. We were on the 2nd floor and really enjoyed sleeping with the window open and hearing the ocean. I thought maybe bugs flying in would be an issue, but it really wasn't. The prude beach seems nicer than the nude beach, but we never actually went in the water on the prude side. All in all I would say I agree that spending extra money on nude side is very not necessary. The only way I could see this being important is if you enjoy playing with other couples and like to be the one to invite back to your room for play, I could see where it would be a bit of a buzz kill to have to take that long walk back to your room if that were the case.
My brain is too fuzzy from alcohol to remember everything day by day! The nude pool was really really packed (of course I only have one other trip to compare this too...). We were there w/ SLS/Topless travel. We had been there w/ them last year and it was a smaller group and not a "take over". This year was more of a take over as they paired with HedoEvents. The problem at Hedo I think is that they have the staff and food they have, and that's it. Whether its a huge group and the place is packed, or they are at normal capacity. I found myself getting super tired of waiting on line for things by day number 3 or 4. 15 minutes for pasta at dinner, up to 20-25 minutes for a darn burger at the nude pool, 10 minutes for a drink at the bar. It seemed the taps were never working right at the bartenders were never happy. Delroy actually snapped at me when I ordered a "hummingbird". I wound up apologizing and telling him he could just make me a vodka slush if that were easier. He made me the vodka slush and pushed it at me without a word. Very strange, bc we are nothing but nice to all of the staff there. It was just strange - like they were all just pissed and overworked that week. ANA was the exception, and NIGEL at the nude grill. Those two always had a smile and a hello for us. What a difference that makes! We were a big fan of Charlie at the omelet station, and he is gone now. Augustus is still there, at prude beach. I also really liked the waterslide guys, especially Jason. Very respectful and kind.
The nude beach was not as nice as I remember - up to the part where it was roped off was just about 3 feet deep and very murky water this time. There was some weather from up here heading down and churning it up I think. On Tuesday the catamaran to the caves was cancelled bc of the water conditions. They went out on Wednesday instead and I heard quite a few got sea sick. We did the sunset catamaran on Thursday afternoon. It was very dark and overcast, with no sunset to be seen, but it didn't rain on us and the water wasn't very rough. We did go into Ricks even though I didn't like it much last year, and it was fine. An ice cold Red Stripe in a bottle was yummy after 3 days of tap beer and well drinks. The divers were entertaining as usual. A younger couple we had met at Munasan the night before and warned not to jump, jumped. The girl hit her butt pretty hard and was in some pain. You really can't jump from there, it's really too dangerous. I don't know what these people are thinking. There's a little ledge where people watch from, if you really want to jump do it from there. The ride back was a blast, they fed us some shots of rum so that we might not notice there was no sunset, I think - and by the time we pulled in we were all naked even though it was cold and taking group pictures. I recommend the sunset catamaran cruise - both times we've been to Hedo we've had a great time on this.
Now the food - (I'll preface this by saying I know I am doing a lot of complaining - but STILL I LOVE HEDO and HIGHLY RECOMMEND IT!)
The food was just bad this time around. Just bad. I love to eat, and I would arrive there hungry and after looking around at the buffet, actually lose my appetite and wind up with bread and cheese. J. ate the pasta bar every night and I tried it once - I would say that's really the way to go. The carving station stuff looked good, but whatever meat it was was always so dry. I saw on another review that they had awsome duck, but we missed that. It was probably served on one of the nights we went to the restaurant. Munassan was very good. The beef tenderloin was tender and delicious. The Italian place also was excellent. He had the tortellini and roasted pork and I had rack of lamb and we cleaned our plates. This time we brought along 2-3 bottles of wine and I was really glad we did. The wine there is yucky. It was nice to have a cold bottle of white wine with our dinner (we put it on ice before and then also gave us a bucket with ice at the table). Feels much more like true restauant eating when you are sharing a bottle of wine. Even at the buffet they brought us a bucket for the wine. If you enjoy wine, bring a couple of bottles!
The breakfasts were the best bc of the fresh omelets. I don't know how one can manage to make bacon both raw and burned at the same time, but somehow they did, every day. The sausages were ok. The healthy people seemed to being enjoying their hard boiled brown eggs and banana, but I wasn't one of them! The burgers there at lunch seemed better than at the grills. I am not a fan of jerk chicken (I know, the horror!) so I can't speak to that. I ate more french fries this week than I have in a year, can't go wrong with the french fries. At midnight they put out burgers and fries too, which is good when you are drunk and hungry.
The entertainment/dinner shows were very good as usual. The one not to miss is the trapeze show, it's really amazing. The EC's were very fun to watch but not so interactive this time around. I saw my husband at least on 3 different days say good morning, or whats up or whatever to Fifty, and not once did he even look up at him. The girls were very friendly with one certain small group of people, who I think were the DJ's from Hedoevents. Winston was at the pool most days and he was funny on the microphone with the pool games. One of the smaller groups there, Biff's Bunch, had a DJ at the pool most days from 12-3. I found out different smaller groups rent him out through Tom's Trips. Man, did I enjoy having this DJ at the pool. what a difference from last year when there was only the piped in music at the bar. This guy was totally my type of DJ - very laid back, naked like the rest of us, playing just anything you wanted to hear. He went around to almost everyone before he started asking for requests. I remember "come sail away" as one of the songs and people were just singing their naked little hearts out. He wasn't cheesy, wasn't annoying, just a fun laid back guy with great music. His name was Mark. At 3-6, the DJ from Hedo events came on. I couldn't stand these guys (not that they were bad, just totally not my thing). They bring in this stage, so that the DJ is way up in the air, and I guess he was too cool to get naked with the rest of us. His helper or whatever was down pool level with the microphone, also fully dressed - their girlfriends were there, also dressed. It was just weird. At the dance contest after dinner one night. one of these DJ's was in it. The crowd was so clearly cheering louder for someone else, but there was no way the ECs weren't giving this guy a bottle of rum, so they made it a tie. Doesn't take much to annoy me, huh!! So, at 3 O'clock when these guys came on and the pool started to sound like a club, we headed off to the water slide, and I was happy again!
We spoke to some people from Biff's bunch, and they were very nice and seemed to be having a great time. There was a small group there also from Pole Dancers travel (not sure exactly the name) and these folks were top notch. Scuba Steve was with them and probably one of the coolest single males to ever be there. He recognized me from this board and was one of the first people to say hello. He was a riot, great costumes, always making sure everyone around him was having fun and being involved. Rabbit and Hound (B and D) were with this group also and we made fast friends and had a lot of laughs together. Def. decided that I prefer the smaller groups during this trip.
People often ask about the themes and how/if to dress for them. With 3-4 different groups there, everyone was having their own "theme nights", which I really don't get. Some of the costumes were really great - but you wound up with 9-10 people as rock stars, a dozen with sports shirts, and 3-4 with pirate stuff, all on the same night! My opinion is the theme nights would be a lot more fun if everyone just stuck to what the hedo themes for the night are, so that everyone was dressed the same. This time around we only participated in white night (no more toga night!) and pajama night. Scuba Steve was out of control. He actually somehow managed to bring a peg leg and really look like it was real, and he did KISS for rock star night, he really went all out, was fun to see.
We never made it into the disco. The DJ from the pool did a great karaoke night at the piano bar, which is the only night we went there, and we had a blast. I didn't see the new keyboard guy in the piano bar that everyone is talking about. We also didn't make it to the playroom (maybe next year) - but I heard it's really nice in there with a waterfall and a little pool, and its open at the top so you can see the sky. Not sure if its open every night, or only when certain groups are there, and it doesn't open if it rained to much during the day bc they don't want to put the mattresses out on the wet floor. The group we were signed up with were supposed to have beach party/bon fire on the last night, but that never happend. There wan't a lot of group communication going on w/ this group! We always managed to wander around and have a nice time at night though. It's hard to get everything in, the pool all day, the fun at night, the naps that are needed!! We wound up missing out on a lot of the late night stuff, but had a blast every day/evening!
Shops - we took a walk off the resort to the little market place for souveniers. This seemed very safe to me, it's really a 3 minute walk. You just tell the guy at the gate where you're going, you walk to the end of the driveway (cross street here and go to Breezes for cover pictures, if necessary!) make a left and walk about 100 yards and you're there. Of course a very nice Jamaican man offered to kindly follow us and show us the shops, and being the suckers were are, we let him and tipped him $5. It's the same annoying high pressure crap as anywhere you travel, but it was fine. We bought some stuff for the kids and parents without doing too much damage to the wallet.
We met friends on day #2 that we had recognized from the SLS site. One of the couples was getting married that day. They invited us to the little ceremony - it was very nice. If you are thinking of renewing your vows here or even getting married, it was nice. Took about 10 minutes. Then they take you a room off the piano bar for champagne and cake. We were glad to have been a part of this.
PDA's - surprisingly few during the day, given the fact that it was a swingers takeover. The usual at the hot tub at night, but only saw maybe 3-4 PDA's at the pool. Just FYI for those who ask about PDA's, but of course this can change hour to hour! As always a very low pressure high fun atmosphere, you can really make your vacation anything you want!
Hot Water - damn, this time had none for 3 days. Last time we lucked out. The people next to us had no problem. We called a whole bunch of times (man do I hate cold showers). Just when I thought I couldn't take it another minute, the water got warm (never hot). I heard some lost water for a few hours. The room was fine - the AC worked well, the bed and pillows were comfortable, safe worked. If anyone can explain to me why they don't / won't renovate, I'd really love to know!
Sunbock - bring it and slather it on ladies! I saw one poor poor woman who had totally fried the tops of her titties, I mean blistered and all. And this was on day 2 (she was on our bus coming in). Don't let this happen to you!! Also, the sea urchins abound! This time no water without water shoes....but J. got it in the hand when he lost his balance in the water and put his hand down so beware!
FLip Flops - within the small group of people we spoke too, I think 6 pairs of mens flip flops had been lost/taken. Where do they all go~!!
I think that's all I can think of (and I'm sure you're tired of reading by now)! We had a late flight out, so didn't take the bus until 2. I'm not sure if I am a fan of this or not...it might be like ripping off a bandaid and just be better to get up in the morning and go! Although friends had to take a 4am bus and I am quite sure I wouldn't like that! Ride was uneventful. We spent the $30 each and got the MOBAY club pass. This wasn't very helpful with lines, as you still have to wait on line to check bags. And lucky us, ours was searched at the table in front of the whole line. They seem to do this every 3rd or 4th person in line. If there was a security line though, we would have bypassed that. The actual Club Mobay is a cool deal though, especially if you arrive at the airport early or if your flight is delayed. It's very nice inside, lots of tables/chairs and a bar. A few TVs. They have finger sandwiches and desserts, coffee, whatever. Full open bar. We didn't get to spend a lot of time there, but had our flight been delayed it would have been the best $60 spent!
Flight was fine and right on time. Left Hedo on the bus at 2pm arrived at home on Long Island by midnight. Sigh. Day 1 of the back from Hedo blahs and back to work tomorrow. The people at work tell me "most people are happy after a vacation, why are you always so bitchy??".. If they only knew!!
His review to follow most likely!
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Co-Hosts of kitten + angel's 15th Annual Spring Fling April 9th - 16th, 2022 (We will be onsite 4/7/22 - 4/18/22) 
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