Advise for newbies?

**queltor** · 03-06-2012, 05:13 PM

Hi there!

I've been reading about Hedonism II and I'm would love to give it a try! I've almost convinced a friend of mine to join me but she's a little nervous, particularly about the openness and level of swinging etc that we've read about.

I really don't want to offend anyone here and I fully understand that Hedonism caters for a wide variety of people. That aside, my friend isn't into the swinging lifestyle and we've read this happens quite openly at Hedonism. She's a little worried that if we go, all she wants is a fun and relaxed holiday, and doesn't want a lot of people continuously pushing for sex. So I was wondering if any of the people that have been before would mind letting us know what things are like?

As I say, I appreciate that there may well be people' in the lifestyle' here and I don't wish to cause any upset; I have a general "anything goes" attitude, so this really is just a fact finding mission to see if this is appropriate for my friend or of this is something I should consider for another time.

So I'm not sure if we'll make it or not, but I do hope to visit at some time!

Regards.

**ScubaSteve** · 03-06-2012, 05:31 PM

Hello and welcome to the forum.

It should be just fine for your friend.
You say that your friend isnt into the swinging lifestyle. I would guess that depending on the week, the greatest majority of Hedo goers arent swingers either.
As for the pushy people, they are far and few between and for the most part a simple "no thanks" is suffucient to end any unwanted advances.
Dont let Hedo's crazy reputation scare her away.
Welcome her to read lots on this forum and gauge the resort and the people for herself.

Hedo people are among the nicest people in society.
Sounds like a pretty big statement to make, but come back after your first trip and tell me its not true!

Cheers,

**hare2party** · 03-06-2012, 05:49 PM

She can rest assured that if she just wants a relaxing vacation, it can be found at Hedo. We manage to find a lot of time to relax when that is what we are looking for. Things are far more laid back than what you may be imagining. People tend to talk about and publicize the more wild side because it is more sensational. There are only so many times that you an read about how people spent the afternoon reading a book laying in a hammock. It is the other stories that tend to spread more.

I would also add that after ten trips, we have never once felt like there were a lot of people pushing for sex. In fact we would be happy to see a few more people hitting on us - but that is a whole different thread...

**Buck** · 03-06-2012, 08:18 PM

You pretty much make your vacation what ever you want it to be. Hedo isnt one big sex party after another. Yes you will see people having sex and playing in the middle of the day but it happens more so at night time in the hot tub. If you want to relax on the beach you do that. If you want to party like a teenager at the nude pool well there yeah go. If you want to sleep all day and party all night you can do that to. Its your vacation do what you want.

That being said you will find some people to be a bit pushy most times no thank you works, then sometimes a simple FUCK OFF works even better. Have your friend come on here if she chooses and read and ask some questions. We are all willing to help if we can

Buck

**queltor** · 03-07-2012, 02:47 AM

Thanks everyone, really appreciate the info! I'll send my friend the link to this page - I'm pretty sure this should re-assure her. Fingers crossed we'll be seeing some of you out there later this year!

**Sunset Bill** · 03-07-2012, 12:10 PM

Since your are potential first time travelers to Hedo, check out www.jwst.com. You'll find lots of ideas, tips, photographs and suggestions about the resort, travel and Jamaica in general. Enjoy.

**mac_r_a** · 03-07-2012, 01:24 PM

Not a lot of swinging happens out in open public. There is sex, yes, but not a lot of open swinging. Now at the nude hot tub after dark, that's a little different, but there are lots of hot tubs on the resort so if she wants to relax in a hot tub without being approached for sex, then you guys should head to the prude hot tub after midnight (which you can still go in naked). But also, if you guys do go to the nude hot tub, it's not like people pounch on you, you may get approached, but a simple no thank you will do and she will take it as a compliment!! Hedo is the best place in the world for your confidence!!!!

**rast67** · 03-07-2012, 03:24 PM

Hedo is not about sex... Really... It is not. It is about openness ... Being yourself, doing what you want to do ( and yes it "could" involve sex), having a good time and meeting fantastic people. Not once did anyone do anything sexual towards us as a couple or individual which was not first agreed upon. At Hedo a no means no... Simple. Sure you may get a few approaches, but you will get that at any bar too. The good thing at Hedo vs. a bar, is that at Hedo even if you say no, the politeness and fun remains.

**queltor** · 03-07-2012, 03:48 PM

Thanks everyone, I really appreciate all the advise and honesty! To me it sounds like an incredible experience and I'd love to give it a go! Having had a chat with my friend, I think she's having a few second thoughts sadly but I'm going to show her everything everyone has said and fingers crossed, we'll be out there this year. If not I guess I'll be a solo traveller another time! Either way, cheers for all the advise and hopefully see some of you out there at one point or another :-)

**Desert Dwellers** · 03-07-2012, 10:15 PM

OK, A couple of things:

As said several times above, it is unlikely that anyone will be "pushy", but if so, it's pretty easy to shut the odd few down quickly. On the other hand, people are very open at Hedo, and that can come across as pushy to some. The social norms that you are used to back home vanish at Hedo, and are replaced by a different, "Hedo" social norm that can be difficult for a few to adjust to. In short, Hedo is open, safe, and a lot of fun... but it is not for everybody.

In any case, this forum is a goldmine of information for any question you may have. Use the search function and settle in for several hours of reading.

I hope your friend gives it a shot.

**queltor** · 03-08-2012, 02:18 PM

Originally Posted by Desert Dwellers

OK, A couple of things:

As said several times above, it is unlikely that anyone will be "pushy", but if so, it's pretty easy to shut the odd few down quickly. On the other hand, people are very open at Hedo, and that can come across as pushy to some. The social norms that you are used to back home vanish at Hedo, and are replaced by a different, "Hedo" social norm that can be difficult for a few to adjust to. In short, Hedo is open, safe, and a lot of fun... but it is not for everybody.

In any case, this forum is a goldmine of information for any question you may have. Use the search function and settle in for several hours of reading.

I hope your friend gives it a shot.

Thanks for the info! It sounds fantastic to me - my friend however was keen, till she spoke to someone that hasn't been, who did a bit of pre-judging and put the idea in her head that people wouldn't leave her alone. I wouldn't exactly say she abides by all the social norms - she's quite open minded in fairness - but only to a degree and it sounds it won't be right for her at the moment. We'll see though!

**HedoJoe** · 03-08-2012, 03:34 PM

Last week, we met A LOT of Hedo Newbies who had heard all sorts of stories. After their first couple of days, the realized what a great place it really was. Every couple I spoke to is planning on being back there next February. No one is pushy, no one is going to force her to have sex with them, no one is going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. If she become outgoing and flirty, others will play upon that. If she is quiet and reserved, no worries.

**queltor** · 03-08-2012, 04:15 PM

Originally Posted by HedoJoe

Last week, we met A LOT of Hedo Newbies who had heard all sorts of stories. After their first couple of days, the realized what a great place it really was. Every couple I spoke to is planning on being back there next February. No one is pushy, no one is going to force her to have sex with them, no one is going to make her do anything she doesn't want to do. If she become outgoing and flirty, others will play upon that. If she is quiet and reserved, no worries.

Haha - she's not exactly quiet! But sure, I know what you mean. I'll be seeing her again at the weekend so fingers crossed the messages here will reassure her :-)

**SooIan** · 03-08-2012, 05:29 PM

Don’t believe a word of the above...We eat newbies alive, once we know you are “Hedo” virgins we stalk you, follow you around and touch you, smile at you constantly, feel your breasts, and butt, at every opportunity we sit by you, where ever you are, walk with you, and every time you open your room door we are standing there it’s like the night of the dammed ! Until you surrender and have sex with us, IN PUBLIC, then we howl and throw our back our head before biting your throat making it impossible in the future for you to ever holiday any where else but Hedo.... Then you are truly one of us. Ha harrrrrrrr. But we are British and that's how we do things. You will be fine with the Yanks. Read above.

**BigDave1964** · 03-08-2012, 06:07 PM

Originally Posted by Soo & Ian

Don’t believe a word of the above...We eat newbies alive, once we know you are “Hedo” virgins we stalk you, follow you around and touch you, smile at you constantly, feel your breasts, and butt, at every opportunity we sit by you, where ever you are, walk with you, and every time you open your room door we are standing there it’s like the night of the dammed ! Until you surrender and have sex with us, IN PUBLIC, then we howl and throw our back our head before biting your throat making it impossible in the future for you to ever holiday any where else but Hedo.... Then you are truly one of us. Ha harrrrrrrr. But we are British and that's how we do things. You will be fine with the Yanks. Read above.

I'll be a "newbie" for you Soo!!!