How do you approach someone? And body issues too...
My husband and I are thinking of going to one of the Hedo resorts, likely Hedo II, actually the book 'Naked Truth' is in the mail as I type. We are not swingers (how many times have I read that! ) but we are kinda sorta interested in maybe having a little something happen with me and another woman, okay, here is the thing. We have NEVER done anything like this before or been exposed to anything like this, so how does one go about getting themselves into a 'situation' where that is possible? Like I am not about to say, hey, wanna come back to our room? I'd like to be a little more discreet and not so 'in your face' about it, I do want her and us to have room to 'feel' each other out. Please, we have our fantasies and don't know how to make them happen so if you who do know out there could share the how to's we'd really appreciate it!
Now onto my next hurdle (this one likely not as big as the first in your minds but it is big to me!) I have really really bad stretch marks and a scar on my tummy, with bad saggy skin (big weight loss ) like I am talking like loose ugly hate my stomach area. I show NO one my tummy except my hubby, and even am self consious around him. How totally bad is it if I was to wear say a sarong or bathing suit bottoms in the nude area? Or please, ladies, if anyone has MAJOR body issues, will I honestly end up feeling at ease? I do have a fairly good dose of self confidence but I tell you my tummy really takes the cake. I am in otherwise pretty good shape, it is just my tummy that i really loathe.
I appreciate any answers will get! Thanks in advance...
Girl,
Just do what you feel comfortable with and to h--- with what anyone else thinks. When I first got nude I was so self concious that i didn't look at anyone until I had a couple of drinks in me. And then it was only quick little glances. It was such a feast for the eyes that I didn't look long at anyone. Besides that my vision is a little poorer these days As for the first question I haven't a clue. That's only happened for me when drugs were involved and my inhibitions were down. I would think it would start with looks and smiles, maybe a wink or two.
As you get to know the folks who go to Hedo, you'll find that they are non-judgemental about your stretch marks because they all have their own warts, stretch marks, scars, flab, lumps, pot-bellies, love-handles, etc. Hedo people will accept you as you are, so don't worry about that. You'll be able to just enjoy your vacation without worrying about what other people think.
You'll find that there are lots of other ladies there who have had pregnancies and don't have supermodel bodies. That's part of life. Have a great time.
Oh, gosh, I am so nervous already, but it is an excited nervous, you know? I want to try this out fairly badly, I am scared, worried, pumped! Most importantly I don't want anything to hinder my relationship with my husband that is my MAJOR worry. I know we will be having long honest discussions on this (did I spell that right)! I also don't want to feel ugly, I don't know if there are others (there has to be!) out there (men and women alike) who one minute feel fairly confident in what they look like then they flip and feel all old and ugly! I am scared that if I see my husband looking at a someone I may get green with envy and take it out on him. Any advice how to keep yourself in check on that? Because I realize that is not HIS problem, I know he loves me and thinks I am beautiful, he is so attentive and loving to me, it is me feeling insecure, but how do you keep yourself in check like 'in the moment' any tips, anyone?
Hi, I know exactly how you feel on the body issues and being jealous of your significant other looking at other people. I'm afraid I'm going to struggle with this one also. Any advice??
So many of the women have marks from pregnancy, it is really nothing out of the ordinary. You may even see women with masectomies.
Really, I've never seen one person, not one, go to Hedo worried about body issues and come back thinking that they were right to be worried. That they had a bad time and felt self concious. It is always the exact opposite.
As for hooking up with another girl, try going with the Wild Women's Group. Its a group specifically for that.
Before we went the first time, we got some great advice from some Hedo Vets. Husband and wife need to sit down and have a long, frank, open discussion about boundaries, jealousy issues, limits -- and then stick to those boundaries and limits while they're there. Don't let the limits be breached during times of too much alcohol. Go back to your room, sober up, and have another frank discussion about boundaries and limits.
It sounds like you love each other and want to preserve your relationship - so the thing is to communicate openly. Tell him the things you wrote in your posting and see what his reaction is. If it will make you jealous to see him eyeing someone else, then tell him about it.
We discussed our boundaries and limits before we went -- stuck to them and had a great time.
Good luck.
Hey, as someone who is testing the waters of the lifestyle, my wife and i have had many a discussion about all of this. and gypsygirl has the best idea. Remember, whatever happens, it is your husband/wife/etc, they are there WITH YOU. If they look, they look, dont make a big deal out of it. because you might be window shopping next!! (and thats all it is unless you are really into it, window shopping!)
And if you are going to "make a purchase" make sure you and your husband are confident in the fact that at ANY TIME it WILL stop if someone gets uncomfortable. Its all about trust and respect.
And hemeyouisthree, i know how you feel about the weight loss. I have lost 100 pounds, and i know exactly what you mean. Just be proud of what you have accomplished, stand tall, and know that everyone standing there has issues with something abou themself they dont like! (and yes even the "super sexy girl" has has issues with certain parts)
I think i would be most comfortable with a 'coupling' you know. Maybe I will post a new thread on that.
You 'guys', thanks, I sure hope things work out for us and we CAN go. I know that this is the only place I want to go. I would love to be able to go somewhere that it is acceptable to be sexual with my husband 'not in your face' I know, I know, but at least where people won't be looking at us negatively thinking, gee, get a room! You know what I mean?
And I know I want to 'experiment' like once anyway...but not anywhere close to home and not with anyone I know.
) but we are kinda sorta interested in maybe having a little something happen with me and another woman, okay, here is the thing. We have NEVER done anything like this before or been exposed to anything like this, so how does one go about getting themselves into a 'situation' where that is possible? Like I am not about to say, hey, wanna come back to our room? I'd like to be a little more discreet and not so 'in your face' about it, I do want her and us to have room to 'feel' each other out. Please, we have our fantasies and don't know how to make them happen so if you who do know out there could share the how to's we'd really appreciate it!
) like I am talking like loose ugly hate my stomach area. I show NO one my tummy except my hubby, and even am self consious around him. How totally bad is it if I was to wear say a sarong or bathing suit bottoms in the nude area? Or please, ladies, if anyone has MAJOR body issues, will I honestly end up feeling at ease? I do have a fairly good dose of self confidence but I tell you my tummy really takes the cake. I am in otherwise pretty good shape, it is just my tummy that i really loathe.
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