Swinger Question

[S&K]

Hi im new here. My gf and I have been going to Caliente for awhile now on sundays to enjoy each other and be naked for the day since we live close. On weekends that there is a heavy swinger crowd there, We often get "offers" which we have always declined. We will be getting married next year. I would love to go to Hedo for our honeymoon.

We are pretty young 22/23. We have been together since we were 15/16. Both of us were virgins when we got together. Ive always thought about swinging, never told her, but the closest we have gone would be same room sex with another couple that we are friends with on a cruise (which I loved.)

My only reservation would be knowing that we have only have sex with each other and if we swung then that would never be the same. Has anyone else been through something like this or any advise?

Thanks in advance

[fun4all]

I'm not a therapist, but I'd strongly suggest you spend more time talking & being open with each other. I'm not trying to be harsh but it sounds as though you have some maturing to do yet. If you have any reservations at all - then you may not be prepared for a lifetime with the woman of your dreams..........living in a state of mind that involves absolutely NO possessiveness, NO jealousy AND total trust!

When you've achieved that level of maturity (And not everyone does): you're FREE & know....You just know! Hugs

[mac_r_a]

Talk, talk, talk about it. What we do is only play when we are away on vacation and we don't do penetration. Make your rules and guidelines before you go and stick to them unless you are sober and decide to change them. That's my 2 cents.

[Londinium]

Great advice already from fun4all and mac_r_a, so there's not much to add.

For what it's worth, it took us 3 years to go from the initial conversation to full swap. Your relationship with each other is the most important thing so talk, talk and talk some more.

[british69]

Hi im new here. My gf and I have been going to Caliente for awhile now on sundays to enjoy each other and be naked for the day since we live close. On weekends that there is a heavy swinger crowd there, We often get "offers" which we have always declined. We will be getting married next year. I would love to go to Hedo for our honeymoon.

We are pretty young 22/23. We have been together since we were 15/16. Both of us were virgins when we got together. Ive always thought about swinging, never told her, but the closest we have gone would be same room sex with another couple that we are friends with on a cruise (which I loved.)

My only reservation would be knowing that we have only have sex with each other and if we swung then that would never be the same. Has anyone else been through something like this or any advise?

Thanks in advance

Do not get to hung up on age and the need to swing. Me and my wife are in our 40's and have asked the same questions about if we should swing or not and at this moment in time we feel its not for us. The worst thing you could do is rush into it and spoil what could be a long and happy marriage with a woman you love. It is great that the both of you are comfortable with being naked around others and are still together after the first step of same room sex but you have not stated if your partner enjoyed the same room sex as much as you. If she did then I would recommend that you take things one step at a time and keep on talking. For any relationship to work you and your partner most feel comfortable with being able to let each other know what you like and don't like, how you feel about things and when to take a step back. Think of it as more of a maration and less of a sprit.

[Redshadow]

If you've always thought about swinging but never told her, you still have a lot of talking to do. I was your age the first time my husband and i went to Hedo. Our honeymoon also. Our relationship has evolved so much since then (29 years). I don't think the young me could handle the jealousy back then. Today is a totally different story Londinium said it "Your relationship with each other is the most important thing". You can go and have a great time without swinging.

[foxxyandhound]

we have been into the swinging lifestyle for 18 years now. when we started into this foxxy was 22 and i was 28.... we talked and talked about it.... after a few months we went and played... we never look back from that day on...... but its not a lifestyle for everyone.... you and your GF has to be comfortable with everything. if theres any hang ups at all don't do it..... you should talk about what you wants to happen and not happen.... but stick to it 100% ..... we only have a couple of rules now.... 1 we always go out together and come home together. 2 never hide anything from each other. we hope this helps....

[pornstar1360]

Set up ALL rules before you get there, seen miscommunication a million times.

[doeeyeddeer]

We have very close swinger friends (we swing very softly ourselves) who are similar to you. Now they are 40/41 but have been married almost 20 years and have 3 kids. They were each others firsts and have been together since their teen years. They are full swingers now and very happy with their lifestyle - but obviously it took them a while to get there. Do you have any idea if this is something that your girl even remotely considers??? You need to have a convo before hedo I would say - the opportunity to swing is so prevalant (sp) if you are dying to, and don't know her feelings...I would imagine it could wind up being very frustrating for you the entire trip. Maybe bring up a "what if" scenario or something.....the one thing in life you really don't want to get fucked up is your honeymoon, that's for sure!!

[Buck]

I would talk about it alot with your future bride. You are both young and her idea of fun could be way different than yourself. Hedo is a place where a man can get in trouble very fast with his partner. Just make sure you have talked about whats good for her and you before you go and stay with those rules. Would sux for your honeymoon to be ruined for a minutes worth of fun.

Buck

[earthangel496]

Communication,Communication,Communication!!! Married 17 years,joked about Hedo years 13-15, experienced Hedo at year 15,just absorbed the atmosphere on the first visit, we were hooked, Hedostylers for 1.5 years, finally full swap after year 2 locally and at Hedo, don't rush anything, you have your whole life together, learn to communicate with each other first before trying to involve others.

Trip #5 April 2012

[crayz36]

You have already gotten a lot of good advice but I will add from a couple who were virgins when we got married and now attend lifestyle parties. We talked and fantasized about swinging for years and finally took a trip to Temptation Resort where we met another couple that we clicked with and my wife had her first girl/girl experience. It wasn't planned it just happened. That led us to go to parties after we got home. We enjoy the sexy atmosphere and some soft play but we are going very slow.

I say all of that to say talk to your GF about what she wants. Swinging does not have to involve intercourse it can be anything from girl/girl, soft play, same room sex, same room full swap, or separate room full swap. Take it slow and make sure you both want it and are on the same page. Make sure you can both handle seeing someone else play with your partner. I have met friends in the lifestyle that have been in for 15 years and never full swapped but they still enjoy going to parties every month. Although we are really new everyone we have met so far have given us the same advice. Take it slow and make sure you are both on the same page.

May you have as great of a marriage as we do.

[TandA4Evr]

Hmmm I am bit perplexed...I think I might need a bit more of a definition of swinger from the expert panel. We have always said we don't but after reading the above posts I think maybe we kind of do? Could it be that we are JV Swingers and didn't realize it? I always assumed it meant full on sex but with all these variables (same room sex, girl on girl, soft play, soft swap) I am seeing now that there might be varying degrees of Swingdom. Our first trip to Hedo was last year in Feb. and it was also our first exploration of anything outside of us so forgive me for being clueless LOL With that being said I agree with all the above comments because 18 years ago there would have been none of this going on as I don't think either of us would have been mature enough or had enough confidence in our relationship to deal with any jealosy issues.

[mac_r_a]

Hmmm I am bit perplexed...I think I might need a bit more of a definition of swinger from the expert panel. We have always said we don't but after reading the above posts I think maybe we kind of do? Could it be that we are JV Swingers and didn't realize it? I always assumed it meant full on sex but with all these variables (same room sex, girl on girl, soft play, soft swap) I am seeing now that there might be varying degrees of Swingdom. Our first trip to Hedo was last year in Feb. and it was also our first exploration of anything outside of us so forgive me for being clueless LOL With that being said I agree with all the above comments because 18 years ago there would have been none of this going on as I don't think either of us would have been mature enough or had enough confidence in our relationship to deal with any jealosy issues.

I guess you guys would be considered soft swap vacation swingers just like us!!!!!

[phillygirl22]

The front page of www.swinglifestyle.com has an article about the "definition" of swinger.
The author's (and my) favorite definition: "A person who actively seeks excitement and moves with the latest trends."

I will chime in and say, while communicating ahead of time is crucial, checking in (while sober) while AT Hedo is also very important.
Feelings change: no one should be less than 100% enthusiastic about ANY scenario!