Do you have to "swing" to have a good time?

**singlecruiser70** · 06-04-2011, 12:41 PM

Originally Posted by sunandfun

About to go on our first trip and wondering if everybody is expecting "action" from other couples at Hedo. We've played a little with some friends but not really wanting to do anything other than make great friends and have a great time on the trip. Wondering if everybody is expecting others to swing while on vacation or if that is really more rare. I'm not a prude... totally open to open sex in public and like a bit of kink but not sure about fully engaging. Anyone have any thoughts on the subject?

Your first mistake is thinking there are rules of behavior that cover “swinging” in order to have a good time. The only rules I observe at Hedo are to always be respectful to others, don’t touch unless invited, don’t gawk especially in the hot tub after midnight, talk to everybody about anything, and drink plenty of Red Stripe. These rules apply to a single dude like myself and I have always had plenty of fun and games.

**chrisandlizvt** · 06-04-2011, 01:01 PM

The only thing expected of everyone is RESPECT...every time!

Liz

**hare2party** · 06-04-2011, 02:40 PM

You may actually be surprised at how few people hit on you. It is not really a meat market, just a lot of friendly people. Also make sure that you don't assume just because someone is being friendly that they are hitting on you. Sometimes they are just being friendly.

**chrisandlizvt** · 06-04-2011, 02:41 PM

Plus if you aren't in the LS you might not even realize you are getting hit on!

**corgiluvrs** · 06-04-2011, 02:53 PM

My only addition would be this: Occasionally you will meet LS couples that aren't interested in hanging out with you, having dinner, etc... once they find out you aren't swingers. Don't take it personally. Hopefully they are still polite, but just remember, it's their vacation too, and they're after they're own pleasures. They paid a lot for their vacation and some don't want to "waste time" on people who aren't going to provide them. As a couple that took a long time to get adventurous, we learned this from a few puzzling encounters.

**CopNkitten** · 06-05-2011, 10:34 AM

Well I hope that didnt happen too often. We are in the lifestyle and we never consider having dinner or spending time with non LS couples a "waste of time".

**Hedotexans** · 06-06-2011, 10:25 AM

I think CandG put it best! We consider ourselves "Hedo Swingers" as we don't do anything during our "normal" lives, but we are more adventurous when we are at Hedo. We have met some great friends for life while at Hedo and some are swingers, some are monogamous, some aren't sure what they are, and some change depending on their relationship. We know people that were not swingers become swingers, yet we also know some that were swingers that are now monogamous! You have to make every trip what you want it to be!! Have fun, relax and who knows what you might become!!

**corgiluvrs** · 06-06-2011, 02:29 PM

Originally Posted by CopNkitten

Well I hope that didnt happen too often. We are in the lifestyle and we never consider having dinner or spending time with non LS couples a "waste of time".

Not too often, but it did happen. The first time we went in January(a lifestyle week) we ran into a couple we had met in the past. When we told them we still weren't swinging, they said we shouldn't be there. We were taking up a room that could be occupied by someone willing to have sex with them. You just have to have a sense of humor with people like that. For every one of those we've met, we've met dozens who weren't like that. The point is not to take it to heart. Oh, and by the end of the week we did justify taking up a room during an LS week.

**Dancing2some** · 06-06-2011, 04:07 PM

Corgi, we can relate to what you encountered. Although we didn't experience it at Hedo, we have at several other lifestyle friendly events and venues. Occasions when a polite "no thanks, not tonight" is met with a response or a look, "oh what are you doing HERE then?" While we've been in the lifestyle for some time, these days our playtime with others is very infrequent. Not only do we have to feel like we "click" with said couple or single, but we need to be in the proper mood or mindset as well. The days of riding the ride, to say we've done it and gotten the tee-shirt are well behind us now. Invariably when we've run into the type of "swingers" that feel the need to display an attitude upon a polite no thanks, it usually turns out that they're the hardest of the "hardcore". You can usually tell right away,because right after parting company, they'll move off to the next couple or woman,then the next,and the next,and the next...until they get the answer they seek.

**CandG** · 06-06-2011, 04:16 PM

Originally Posted by corgiluvrs

Not too often, but it did happen. The first time we went in January(a lifestyle week) we ran into a couple we had met in the past. When we told them we still weren't swinging, they said we shouldn't be there. We were taking up a room that could be occupied by someone willing to have sex with them. You just have to have a sense of humor with people like that. For every one of those we've met, we've met dozens who weren't like that. The point is not to take it to heart. Oh, and by the end of the week we did justify taking up a room during an LS week.

With all due respect, and I'm not sure much respect is due to the couple you talked about, these people were just idiots and their comment was stupid. They and their comment do not represent the feelings of the majority of people in the lifestyle. As you said, for every one of them, there are dozens of couples who are respectful of others' decisions not to be involved in the LS.

**spankme422** · 06-06-2011, 09:35 PM

We went we dont swing and didnt engage in any true "play" while we were there. Some licking and kissing but thats it.... but we met people who I later found out were swingers and had no idea. Everyone i just friendly and there is def no pressure. Just go and have a blast!

**Jerry&Kelly** · 06-11-2011, 11:05 AM

Originally Posted by corgiluvrs

Not too often, but it did happen. The first time we went in January(a lifestyle week) we ran into a couple we had met in the past. When we told them we still weren't swinging, they said we shouldn't be there. We were taking up a room that could be occupied by someone willing to have sex with them. You just have to have a sense of humor with people like that. For every one of those we've met, we've met dozens who weren't like that. The point is not to take it to heart. Oh, and by the end of the week we did justify taking up a room during an LS week.

Hey Corgi this happened to us as well in Jan. Sometimes we do indulge in play with others but if it isn't comfortable or "in the stars" for us we don't. I never had to be brutally honest with people at Hedo until this past January. If we aren't attracted to you BOTH then we just aren't so stop harrassing cajoling then out right making fun of us for not being as aggressive as you are!! That being said this was the only time in six trips that this has happened to the extent that it did in January. So I hope that you won't let it be a reason for you not to return. We love Hedo and can't wait to get there in 19 days 19 hrs. ~Kel

**CopNkitten** · 06-11-2011, 02:14 PM

Originally Posted by CandG

With all due respect, and I'm not sure much respect is due to the couple you talked about, these people were just idiots and their comment was stupid. They and their comment do not represent the feelings of the majority of people in the lifestyle. As you said, for every one of them, there are dozens of couples who are respectful of others' decisions not to be involved in the LS.

Could not agree more, there are idiots of every kind, in and out of the lifestyle. They surely do not represent the majority of LS people.
Come one, come all to Hedo.
Hedo is for everyone.
We are in the Lifestyle and didnt play with any couples during our whole last trip, just didnt happen (well kitten had some fun with some girls, but....), and we had an amazing time as we always do there.
Cop....