Finding couples

**azcuriosity** · 05-20-2011, 10:32 PM

We are new to the lifestyle and are still feeling things out. So my question is what's the best way to approach a couple you may be interested in?

**ScubaSteve** · 05-20-2011, 10:41 PM

By putting one foot in front of the other......

Seriously though, there are no text book answers.
Every situation is different, every couple is different.

Start like you would any other conversation, like "Is this seat taken?"
If the conversation comes easy, ask them what they are into and go from there.

Always honest, open, clear communication.

Cheers

**CopNkitten** · 05-20-2011, 10:47 PM

First of all do you know they are in the lifestyle? Or just regular couple you are interested in? Which could be a big problem.

**magjoy** · 05-20-2011, 11:43 PM

You first need to know the secret handshake. And then decode the tattoo on the right shoulder. It will tell you if they're soft swap, full swap or into all tise kinky kind of things.
Plus, there are a few secret conversation codes.
such as
"hi, how're you"
"Good, the sun is quite nice, don't you think if it was pink it'd be better?: This line means magjoy is drunk.
But in some more serious manner... just talk. chat. 3rd or 4th (real) conversation is good to bring up sexual preferences and such. If they're equally interested, you'll know.

**CopNkitten** · 05-21-2011, 06:53 AM

Pink Sun, riiiiiiiiiiiiiigghhhhhttttttt (Said in my best Dr Evil Voice)

Attachment 4481

**jason&liz** · 05-21-2011, 11:15 AM

There should really be a secret handshake...I mean would it really be that hard to make one up???? HAHA

We were kinda wondering this too, since we normally hang out at lifestyle clubs, where everyone is at least sorta into the whole "lifestyle" thing... I would hate to offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable **or "out" ourselves to some poor innocent people***HAHAHA

**CandG** · 05-21-2011, 12:04 PM

Originally Posted by jason&liz

There should really be a secret handshake...I mean would it really be that hard to make one up???? HAHA

We were kinda wondering this too, since we normally hang out at lifestyle clubs, where everyone is at least sorta into the whole "lifestyle" thing... I would hate to offend someone or make them feel uncomfortable **or "out" ourselves to some poor innocent people***HAHAHA

Hedo is a little different. A simple, "What are you guys into?" or "Do you play" usually works well and people aren't offended. It is a good idea to hang for a while and get to know the people first. Unlike LS clubs, Hedo is much more about making connections with people and getting to know them. As discussed in another thread, there are a lot of people who are not in the lifestyle in their real lives but who do play at Hedo. I guess you could call them "Hedo Lifestylers". If you ask them if they play and they get a confused look on their faces and sort of hem and haw but don't actually say no, they're probably Hedo Lifestylers.

**funlover** · 05-21-2011, 12:45 PM

i think that is us! i never know what to say, we have only played at hedo, seems hard to find opportunities or time even at home. we met a great couple we just clicked with, and we all were just kind of honest and out in the open about it all, of course, it is easier to talk about those things at hedo!

**jason&liz** · 05-21-2011, 01:33 PM

Originally Posted by CandG

Hedo is a little different. A simple, "What are you guys into?" or "Do you play" usually works well and people aren't offended. It is a good idea to hang for a while and get to know the people first. Unlike LS clubs, Hedo is much more about making connections with people and getting to know them. As discussed in another thread, there are a lot of people who are not in the lifestyle in their real lives but who do play at Hedo. I guess you could call them "Hedo Lifestylers". If you ask them if they play and they get a confused look on their faces and sort of hem and haw but don't actually say no, they're probably Hedo Lifestylers.

This is actually good to know....I've been told our LS clubs here in the south are much more tame than those in other places. There is much more talking, dancing, and just hanging out and getting to know people than one would think....So Hedo sounds good in that aspect!!

**azcuriosity** · 05-21-2011, 03:57 PM

The parties we have been to in AZ are pretty cut and dry. There is still all the dancing and hanging out but no one is shy. There tends to be sex everywhere at these parties in the south west.

**CandG** · 05-21-2011, 04:22 PM

Not much shyness in So Cal either.

**slhedo** · 05-21-2011, 04:47 PM

What would the term play mean? Is it a general term to mean most anything or specific to full swap?

**paulnjudi** · 05-21-2011, 04:55 PM

Its a general term meaning any sexual 'play' with another couple/individual - does not imply full swap - where in England are you from jcbiking?

**slhedo** · 05-21-2011, 05:05 PM

Thanks for the info. We live in Buckinghamshire.

**ernie_78** · 05-21-2011, 05:14 PM

just go up to the girl in the couple and put you cock in her face and say "you want this". LOL Im kidding that would be a really good way to get punched.

Remenber when your mom said to you. "Honey when your not looking for love it will find you" its that easy, go have a good time and have fun if its meant to happen it will.
I can't speak for other couples but we would never no if we wanted to play with a couple by just looking at them, we have to click.
And never never be pushey!! we will be there when you are so if we click you will know. LOL FYI we are Soft swap only, no penatration.