It's A Little Strange

[chris&corinne]

Thanks everyone for your stories and advice it helps alot. As you may be aware we are new to this board and Hedo. We have a great marriage and have tried almost everything except swapping. We are going to Hedo with a open mind (and a gallon of lube). Here are my concerns.

In my mind I believe I would be ok with Corinne playin with others. Providing the oppertunity presents itself and we are feelin frisky I think I would be ok with almost anything except.....making out with another guy (another girl no problem...yes it is a double standard I know). Is this normal or am I some sort of unlogical freak. In my mind I understand there is sex and then there is making love. I am all for crazy fun sex but her making out with another guy seems too intimate for me. She could give or recieve kisses just not on the (upper) lips.
Note: we have had other women in our bed few times and there was no limits at all and I loved watchin Corinne make out with another girl...what can I say Corinne is a better person than me.
Does anyone else have this "limit" or am I alone? Should I just get over myself?

Also if you could share your thoughts on the first time you watched your mate be touched or touch someone else. You see in my head I believe I would be good with just about anything but still a little worried when it does happens I may not be so confident. I read some where on another thread that her husband was gettin uncomfortable the first time another guy was touchin his wife but as soon as the "other" wife started gettin into the action with the first husband he was able to relax. Is this all it takes?

Thanks for you help
Chris

[ColonelPanic]

Swinging definitely comes in all shapes and sizes. We know a couple that is similar to you; the wife is NOT ok with him kissing another woman. Pretty much anything else is fine. They've been in the lifestyle for many years, and this is still her policy today. So long as everyone understands the rules up front, I don't see it as an issue. If you meet a couple and they're not ok with your rules, just move on. Better to not play than to cause a problem between yourselves.

Hedo brings with it lots of relaxation and alcohol, so it's possible that you may change your mind while inebriated, but it's probably best not to do so, or have a well established "out" that you can quickly communicate to your wife to ensure things don't get out of hand. For some couples they are able to jump into swinging head first. For others, you inch your way in. Don't feel obligated to do anything you're not comfortable with, and as long as your wife is OK with your double standard, you should be too.

I'm sure others will weigh in on this with more experience than I have myself. Hopefully it'll be enlightening reading.

[CopNkitten]

You have to do whats comfortable with you but you have to let possible partners know your limits ahead of time. We played with a couple once and when I went to kiss her she kept turningher head, and I love to kiss when fooling around. Something that should have come up when we had the "what are your limits" talk, not during sex.
Cop

[mac_r_a]

We have that rule too. We are not allowed to kiss opposite sex on the mouth, but I am allowed to kiss as many woman as I want. It is important to talk about your limits with anyone you are going to play with, and most anyone is understanding and respectful of that. If they are not, they are not worth playing with.

[luvnlife_az]

We are having our annual boundry talks gearing up for our upcoming trip. This will be our 4th trip and the first trip that we are considering playing with others if the situation presents itself (we met a couple @H3 last year that will be @H2 this year and I am getting excited about the opportunity as I've already witnessed her amazing talents!!!).

Its ok for her (or another her if it works out that way) and I to play as much as we want and we are both totally ok with that. I'm not comfrotable with him playing with another woman and I really don't have a desire to play with any other man than him....we've approached this all with baby steps as each time we get alittle more comfortable - so who knows, next year when we have the boundry talk it might be alittle different.

[John&Mary]

We hadnt intended to get involved just have fun - by the end of the first day we were sharing a hot tub with a cool guy who had her sitting on him whilst he rubbed sun cream into her breasts. Certainly the alcohol helped considerably but somehow the atmosphere of the whole place is just so liberated that there didnt seem anything wrong or unusual about it. She later on managed her first girl on girl kiss & a bit of nipple sucking although (sadly) it didnt go any further.

I guess a lot of us harbour hidden fantasies about our other half touching & being touched by another guy/girl - not sure quite how I would have felt if it had gone much further than just fooling around in the tub a bit drunk.

Be warned though, my other half was furious with me for making contact with the girl who had a crush on her after we returned from Hedo - I guess what happens in Hedo should stay in Hedo!

Sounds like you should be ok for some fun though

[JamVac]

JMHO, buy you may drive yourself (and your mate) nuts OVERTHINKING every possible scenario. Yes, discuss absolute, firm boundaries BUT....go to H2 for your first visit, spend a day or two observing and getting a feel for the vibe of the place. Relax and go with whatever flow you're comfortable with. Don't be overly disappointed if NO opportunities present themselves....it's been known to happen. As everyone always says, part of the dynamic is the mix of individuals/groups there at the time you are. Relax and enjoy.

[S&Tliketoparty]

You just have to do what you are comfortable with. The whole point is to enjoy yourselves so if anybody involved is not comfortable then that defeats the purpose of playing with others. Also everybody has to set their boundaries, we all have limits and where we set those lines are personal choices. There is no right or wrong when it comes to this. Furthermore you mention that is not logical, honestly logic doesn't matter because feelings aren't logical they are emotional. You just have to accept those feelings and work with them. Simply telling yourself that you shouldn't feel a certain way isn't going to change your feelings and if you try to force yourself to do something you aren't comfortable for the sake of logic you are likely to have a bad time.

[NickandKitty]

The only rules that matter are your rules. If you are uncomfortable with her making out with another guy, then that is it. You can change your rules based on mood and moment of course, as some have alluded to above alcohol can changes things, but unless there is some kind of agreement between the two of you to do that then it can lead to trouble. Nothing can kill a hedo trip more than a misunderstanding on boundaries during your stay. Before our first trip, as we were discussing the possibilities, we decided to visit a couple lifestyle clubs and see how it went- not expecting to do anything but indulging some anyway. Those experiences we had helped immensely as we settled on what was comfortable for the two of us. Now, that said, there will of course be give and take as what you are comfortable with may vary slightly with what she is comfortable with and the agreement can require some work- and in the end the restrictions you place on eachother (maybe not the best word but it will do) may exclude others who have rules that are incompatible, so be ready for that as well. It sounds more complicated than it is.
Cheers!
Nick (and the saucy Kitty)tm

[Buck]

I feel the same way. But watching someone do a body shot off the wife was pretty exciting as well. It was someone we had known a few days and we were all doing it so it was more fun then anything else. Plus i started laughing when it was my turn to do it.

[LNRyno]

It all goes back to communication prior to getting there. My rules and the activities I would allow are different
than my wifes. Have someone drinking rum cream off her nipples is a real turn-on. I will allow her to do more than
she will allow but that is fine and acceptable to me. That's all part of the discussions and communications.
I know I have her heart so if someone what's her tits for a while it's all good.

[Luv2bnekkid]

I feel the same way. But watching someone do a body shot off the wife was pretty exciting as well. It was someone we had known a few days and we were all doing it so it was more fun then anything else. Plus i started laughing when it was my turn to do it.

"Come'on Big Sexy, you can't laugh when you're down there"

[paul kenti]

Have you asked your partner what she really is up to? Then, you set up your rules. Go and observing. After the second day you both you will be more relaxed, and what happens in Hedo stays at Hedo. Enjoy it.

[tbone69]

Too many rules = BAD experience.

Sad but true.

Nuff said.

[jeaniendevildog]

Too many rules = BAD experience.

Sad but true.

Nuff said.

While everyone has the right to make their own rules, I've never understood the "No Kissing" rule. Especially when they say girl/girl kissing is all good, but no opposite sex kissing. He can put his dick in her mouth, but not his tongue? For me kissing is a part of the warm up and I prefer to play with couples without a bunch of rules that can ruin the moment. Just my $0.02.
Jeanie