Well..finally, our April 2011 trip report…where to begin? I am writing the short version here for posting purposes, but if you are interested in “The Full Monty”, please email me, and I will send it to you. (I’m still working on it, but it should be done by the end of the week). It can’t be said enough, but we met and hung out with so many amazing people- not just in our group, but people we “adopted”, encountered, and with whom we spent time. As you all know, the people are what matter at Hedo, and all of them really made our trip incredible. There are too many people to name, but you know who you are! I think my hubby, Moe, (aka Restless Legs/ Happy Feet) met every person at the resort!
We arrived into MBJ on Sat. 4/16 on time, after a relatively uneventful red-eye flight from Las Vegas on Spirit Air and 3 hr layover in Ft. Lauderdale. Note- we’ll NEVER be flying Spirit again…the additional charges were crazy (charges for carry on, charges PER LEG of the flight, for luggage over 40lbs, to pick your seats in advance, etc.). The seats/legroom also seem smaller than on other carriers. Anyway, we made it in one piece with our luggage, so that’s the important thing. The immigration line was pretty long, but moved quickly.
We made it to the Superclubs desk within about 30-45 minutes of arrival, and our friends had arranged for a private van to take us to Hedo (these awesome friends also took 2 of our bags for us ahead of time so we wouldn’t incur any more baggage fees). Wow, now I see what the hoopla is about the private car/van! Great AC, comfortable seats, and at Hedo in about 45 minutes! Thanks, guys!
We brought a downpour with us, but it only lasted about an hour, so we used this time to eat and say hi to people in the dining room. I was very proud of myself for packing an umbrella, though! Weather throughout the trip was pretty great- aside from that big rainfall we only had the few typical 15-20 minute sprinkles throughout the week, and sunny skies for the remainder of the time. I actually thought that it got a little cool in the evening, and I distinctly remember one night thinking that I wished I had a sweater (but I guess that wouldn’t match my slutwear, LOL)
We had a very nice (by Hedo standards) room on the ground floor on the nude side, directly across from the gym/spa. I thought it was the perfect location- close to dining, to the gym, and not a far walk to the nude pool. We had plenty of hot water all week, and our housekeeper did a great job. Interesting note- I wasn’t able to exchange the lightbulbs in the lamps for ones I brought with me in a higher wattage this year.
I thought that the food was overall great, but I pretty much stuck to the standards. I ate breakfast (gotta love Charlie’s omelettes, bacon, French toast, pancakes, and the like), usually had lunch/dinner at one of the grills (jerk chicken or a burger/sandwich, fries, and there were patties all day), and occasionally had fish or pasta at dinner. We didn’t eat at any of the restaurants…somehow making plans for dinner was a little too daunting. We had all the alcohol we needed (and then some), and Serena concocted a special drink for our group for us.
The entertainment also was pretty fantastic, and has really benefitted from the addition of some of the H3 crew. Daytime activities happened pretty much as scheduled. I really missed the Happy Hour loud music, dancing, and games they had last year, though. Apparently, they had it on Saturday after we left, but I suspect that last year some people complained about it (volume, music choice, etc), which is why it didn’t happen throughout the week. The nighttime shows were also amazing, with the highlights being Fetish Night and Rock Star Night. Even toga night was pretty fun, even though I wasn’t dressed in a toga this year (I did wear a “Roman/Grecian” style dress, though!). The only complaint I had about any of the performances was that they were pretty heavy on dance routines and Winston’s drag shows.
I didn’t spend a lot of time in the piano bar, so I can’t comment about that, but the disco was hit-or-miss. The AC situation…well.. maybe it has slightly improved, but that’s about it. I figured out at least part of the problem- they don’t run the AC in there all day; they don’t start running it until the disco opens at 11p, so there isn’t an opportunity for the disco to get cool before people start arriving. There were some nights when the music and vibe was amazing, but others when we were like WTF is going on here?!
I hit the gym every day, and found that all of the treadmills except 1 worked, and all of the stationary bikes except 1 also worked. I needed to try to pre-empt all of the food and drink I was consuming! This year, I actually gained less weight than usual (on the other hand I actually didn’t lose as much as I usually do beforehand, so I guess everything evened out).
Of course, Hedo is all about the people, and we met some really amazing ones and had some fantastic times with all of them. I thought that the closing of H3 has really changed the dynamic of H2 for the better- lots of younger, high energy guests. Our Meet & Greet was just right, Naughty Schoolgirl Night was so much fun (and ended up with a bit of naughtiness), we hosted a “Shake Yo’Booty” Hedo’s Mojo night at the prude pool deck, courtesy of the Buttcrack Tours, who transformed the pool deck into “Chez Mikey”, PJ night, a Naughty Gift Exchange, the list goes on. Thursday’s talent/toga night was also great, and the BCT put on a version of Bohemian Rhapsody that was just mesmerizing. Friday day and night--just wild- from my massage on the beach, to the body shots out of my booty, to Rock Star Night, to "The Night of the Rum Cream!"
One interesting lesson that I saw played out- we met a few “single guys,” who actually came with platonic female friends, in an effort to make couples and other guests feel more comfortable and not come off as the “creepy single guy.” This strategy didn’t really work for any of them. In one situation, the girls didn’t want to go on the nude side, so the guys weren’t really ever able to meet and interact with other people much (cause they didn’t want to go over there on their own). They were really fun and sweet guys, so I felt badly for them. They’d always ask me, “Mo, where are the hot single girls? Introduce us to some girls!” I always had to say, “I've got nothing!” While there were a few single girls- they were on the nude side! In another situation, the platonic “girlfriend” ended up meeting someone else (another single guy) at the resort, and ditched her friend. Ouch!
We had some incredibly funny, OMG, WTF moments too- from Moe’s Evil Twin, to “The Green Pill,” “Can I have SOME (not more)” and the “Jamaican Hooker.” Moe was a Human Wedding Cake, I had to “Push Through the Pain,” and I didn’t think Moe was going to make it on our departure day. (he tried hard to stay up all night…but didn’t quite do it, and ended up passing out drunk 2 hrs before we needed to check out!)
All in all, it was a fantastic trip, and I definitely needed a vacation from my vacation when we returned. I think Moe and I slept for 18 hrs on Sunday, and we probably could have used some more sleep!
Well…I guess this Trip Report ended up being more than “Just the Tip.” Never play that game, right? I hope you enjoyed it, and remember- there’s more if you want it- just let me know!
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