Advice Needed: How to discuss Hedo in a new relationship

**Mark.Milton** · 01-12-2011, 08:17 PM

Hey everyone. I have a question I wouldn't mind getting some input on. I was in a long term relationship for about five years where my significant other was open to the idea of going to a resort like Hedo. I had never been before but the idea appealed to me, not necessarily to swing but just to be in an open nude community like that.

We started off small and went to Couple and visited the nude beach there. While my girlfriend wasn't totally into it she went with an open mind and we had a good time. The closest I got her to go to Hedo was for a day pass and we had a blast. We ended up breaking up a few months after that so there was never a chance to go again. This was all around a year ago now.

I'm just starting a new relationship with a new lady. My dilemma is that I would ideally want to be with someone that at a minimum would want to do a nude beach like at Couples but really I'd love to spend a week at Hedo with a girlfriend.

How do you go about this kind of discussion? Or even test the waters? The closest to any kind of talk about it was when talking about locker room nudity and she said that she thought it was rude to walk around the locker room completely nude like that. How have others gotten their significant others to try a nude beach and/or a resort like Hedo?

**shield1234** · 01-12-2011, 08:27 PM

Hedo has prude and nude side and I emphasis on it to my wife before the 1st trip. The first day we did spend on the prude side but we got into the hedo atmosphere very soon meaning you can avoid seeing nudity around the resort. After a while, it is no big deal. By the middle of the trip, we made love at the nude beach under the star, spent some at the nude pool/hot tub. We did not have a lot of interaction with other couples (playing) but we did have a great time. We did book for the next trip in coming November right after the first trip. We did not have model bodies and most of the people don't anyway. In my opinion, just talk about it casually, don't paint a picture that she has to be nude the first moment at the resort but I am sure she will get used to the atmosphere. In the coming trip, I will encourage her to have PDA at the nude pool/hot tub and maybe "play" with other couples.

**hedoforus** · 01-12-2011, 08:29 PM

sorry don't know how to do it. i went because my wife dragged me there under protest. said i would never get naked with a bunch of strangers. was naked first day thanks to a wonderful greeting at the nude pool during the tour. best thing she ever forced me to do.lol.

**Calliope** · 01-12-2011, 09:45 PM

Originally Posted by Mark.Milton

How do you go about this kind of discussion? Or even test the waters? The closest to any kind of talk about it was when talking about locker room nudity and she said that she thought it was rude to walk around the locker room completely nude like that. How have others gotten their significant others to try a nude beach and/or a resort like Hedo?

Speaking from my experince, you are probably better off starting off talking about/going to a nude beach. Nudism appeals to a wider range of people

But your mileage may vary

Talk, talk talk.

**ScubaSteve** · 01-12-2011, 10:00 PM

Originally Posted by Mark.Milton

How do you go about this kind of discussion? Or even test the waters? The closest to any kind of talk about it was when talking about locker room nudity and she said that she thought it was rude to walk around the locker room completely nude like that. How have others gotten their significant others to try a nude beach and/or a resort like Hedo?

Hello Mark,

Id tell her that I was at this great resort only for a day and share your experience with her. If she calls you a freak and heads for the door, you know now, well in advance.
If she calls you a freak and gives you a hug and kiss, ask her if she has any sisters.

All kidding aside, I would put it all on the table with your new girlfriend. Its the only way to tell where she really is. You cant get any better than straight forward honesty.
Dont pressure her, give her some info and let her think about it. Show her this forum and even your post so she can see that you care about the issue so much you came to the masses for advice.

Good luck!

Cheers
ScubaSteve

**hkdilbert** · 01-13-2011, 12:54 AM

The advice and suggestions given here are all great. One more thing though to consider - the nudist and even more so the hedo style experiences are not for everyone. I feel very lucky in that both my wife and I share common interests and desires for our holiday and other recreational activities. This simply would not have been possible with some previous relationships.

The suggestion to put it all on the table and talk I think is fantastic - as long as you understand that depending on the person, you may end up with a situation where there is no way to get agreement on some of these issues. But at least it removes all doubt and clears the deck for moving forward regardless.

Wishing you all the best,

Tim

**Rob&Jo** · 01-13-2011, 03:24 AM

You need to make one thing very clear. She does not have to do anything she does not want to do. Many women don't understand that. If she does not want to go nude, she doesn't have to. She may be hit on, but no is no. Most everyone at the resort would step in to protect her right. You need to be clear regarding your hopes and expectations. For example, you would like her to try being nude (you could even say you expect her to try if you go to Hedo for several days), you have no expectations regarding playing, but you are open to discussing it with her. If playing is not an option, make sure she knows.

If she is concerned about her body, tell her to imagine everyone in the local supermarket is nude (that is Hedo).

Good luck.

**JW1** · 01-13-2011, 09:36 AM

Originally Posted by Mark.Milton

How do you go about this kind of discussion? Or even test the waters? The closest to any kind of talk about it was when talking about locker room nudity and she said that she thought it was rude to walk around the locker room completely nude like that. How have others gotten their significant others to try a nude beach and/or a resort like Hedo?

I see you live in Philly.

When I met my current GF, as part of the getting to know you process, I mentioned that I enjoyed visiting CO beaches in the summer and had been to Hedo previously. I did that because in my mind, if she was uncomfortable with the whole thing, it would have been a deal-breaker for me. When summer rolled around she was ok with going to Lighthouse and Gunnison beaches (she prefers Gunnison). After that we planned a trip to hedo.

When the weather gets warmer see if your lady is open to spending a day at Gunnison Beach. I think initally, skinny dipping and CO is an easier sell to someone who is uncertain about the whole idea of beach nudity. Emphasize that she does not have to do anything she is uncomfortable with and do not try to push her out of her comfort zone. If she isn't open to visiting a CO beach, then Hedo is probably out of the question and maybe you can try a resort like Couples where there is a nude section, but it is not one of the main attractions of the resort, and see if she can get comfortable with the idea there.

Good Luck.

**copsandrobbers** · 01-13-2011, 11:00 AM

Communication is key. To your surprise she may want to go. My husband was shocked when I agreed to the first trip, he had me convinced we would be on the prude side anyway, so what was the big deal, right? We had some liquid courage and were enjoying the nude side almost immediately! I have never fell more in love with my husband than I did at Hedo, just pure excitement and fun! As others posted above, discuss it with her, start by creating an account on here, TOGETHER, check your posting together, have fun with the idea.....Good luck, and maybe we will see ya all in Hedo soon!

**Mark.Milton** · 01-13-2011, 07:06 PM

Thanks everyone for your advice. It's still pretty early in our relationship so I think I'll hold off a little while before bringing it up. Hopefully I'll be surprised but I feel like when I tell her she's going to look at me like I'm a total weirdo. I haven't decided yet if this would be a deal breaker for me or not...I do really like her. It would just be great if this was something that we could share together.

**Rob&Jo** · 01-16-2011, 12:20 AM

No way. I think Walmart might not be representative. I'm guessing that would skew heavy. We have rarely been in Walmart, so we can't really say.

**NickandKitty** · 01-21-2011, 01:50 AM

Mark- most people here have hit the highlights- I would just add start the conversation sooner rather than later. Ideally she is open to it and things are great- worst case she isn't and then you get to decide whether that is a compromise you are willing to accept early in a relationship.
Good luck
Nick (and the lucky Kitty)tm

**HedoIIIlover** · 01-21-2011, 08:00 AM

Our first trip was not for the nude Hedo fun. Hedo just came to the top of the search when we typed in what we DID want. So, easy to talk about the fun you had at a resort in Jamaica. The way ppl dress up for the disco and how much fun the piano bar is with the sing along to songs where the words do not always follow the radio hit words and the floor shows and the sand where you can read a book for hours with the sound of the sea calming you. Until she looks up the resort and finds out there is a wild side to it the rest is not a big deal.
Talk now, a life time with out hedo is now unimaginable.

**yarray** · 01-21-2011, 08:52 AM

Where are you starting from. Look at what she does at the moment. Is she comfortable around the house naked. Does get up on a Sunday morning an pad naked in to the kitchen to make coffee then wander back to bed. Or does she pull a dressing gown over her up to the neck pajammies.

Talk and honesty. People don't change that much and if it's not right for her then that is the way it is.

**bibabe** · 01-22-2011, 01:04 PM

You should probably talk to her about it sooner than later. We know its new in the relationship but that is a relationship. Knowing what you have in common and if you are compatable. What you know now helps later in your relationship. If its not her cup of tea then you decide to leave or stay but at least you know now. Just be honest and tell her about all the wondeful people she would meet! It isn't all sex and if you could get her to read this forum she would see that. Some swing some don't. The two still all become great friends and we are all one big happy family! Good Luck....Ted and Kelly