You can just tell?

[CandG]

There haven't been any postings here for a while and I read something on the H2 board that I had to ask about, but I couldn't find the posting so I thought this would be a good place to discuss it. Someone said that if you're in the lifestyle you can "just tell" if another couple is or not. We have been in the lifestyle for some time now and we're confused about this statement. We can't tell, but we usually don't have any trouble asking. Yes, sometimes it's obvious, but more often than not it isn't, at least to us. It's even tougher at Hedo because everyone there is so open and friendly, but that doesn't mean at all that they swing. Does anyone know what this poster might have been referring to? I can't believe after all these years in the lifestyle years I'm asking this question, but I'm curious.

[CopNkitten]

Perhaps they mean in a general setting. We can tell sometimes, the replies to certain things, the way they act, etc. But near impossible at Hedo because as you said everyone is open there. Also people who are not in the lifestyle may dabble while only at Hedo, etc.
Or it could just be a stupid statement made by a stupid person, roflmao.
Paul....

[GandS]

If they mean they can tell just by looking at another couple then I'm going with Paul's last sentence lol.

[CandG]

Perhaps they mean in a general setting. We can tell sometimes, the replies to certain things, the way they act, etc. But near impossible at Hedo because as you said everyone is open there. Also people who are not in the lifestyle may dabble while only at Hedo, etc.
Or it could just be a stupid statement made by a stupid person, roflmao.
Paul....

LOL, Paul, but I think it was a regular poster who, as I recall generally makes good postings. It was fairly recent but damned if I could find it. It is very hard at Hedo for the reasons you mentioned and the fact that everybody is a little"flirty" (and drunk) whether they're in the lifestyle or not. On the other hand, "Do you guys play?" is not an awkward question at Hedo. I suppose if you ask that and they say, "Huh?", it's safe to assume they're not in the lifestyle. LOL

[CandG]

If they mean they can tell just by looking at another couple then I'm going with Paul's last sentence lol.

As I recall their posting didn't say they could tell just by looking at someone. They at least implied that a little conversation was involved. I'm glad you and Paul chimed in here because I was beginning to think that we were the only ones who couldn't immediately identify fellow swingers from 100 yards away! LOL

[sabinaandscott]

We agree that you just can't tell by looking...and even after some conversation and inuendo, It's still hard to tell sometimes without asking directly if someone is interested in playtime. We're pretty blind sometimes and you would have to hit us over the head with a direct question/!! There are so many variations of people who say they are lifestyle...and what a couple or individual is into and their "rules" that you just can't assume someone is willing. Even if there was a swinger Tattoo, I think most people are more discriminating and like to have a connection rather than an "Oh, you're lifestyle,....lets go"...although we have seen and enjoy watching the bedpost notchers working the crowd through the week at Hedo...

[janjanxx7]

I can't tell anything but since we began in this lifestyle I do wonder about every couple I see

[sexylady]

I would not like to be read, I would like to be asked. In my last trip I was very active in PDA with my husband everyday, yet no one asked except one, and he got to taste me. There were lot of gorgeous and sexylady and I could not respond forthright though I wished there will be more advancement, but no one asked direct. I am too shy to ask, so did not get what I wanted. Your points are right.

[aliyt]

maybe this is what you were talking about? this is quoted from HotWetWild it was on the "about single males" thread
"Some one up the thread said how do you know what couples are lifetsyle couples. My advice is to watch. Body language will give it away. Swingers don't have it tattooed on their foreheads but you can pick it up if you are observent. Those in the lifestyle know what we are talking about"

[CopNkitten]

If your going to play a conversation should be taking place anyway. Not long and drawn out but simple, rules, restrictions, etc, so there are no problems later. We hate when that happens, finding out someone doesnt kiss the other male, etc, or doesnt do this or that.
Those things should be said up front.
As for us, we don't actively seek anyone, but also if were interested don't pass up an opportunity either, lol. We have had trips to hedo when we were so romantic with each other, kitten only had some girl time. Then it seemed like the door at our quad room at H3 last Jan had a revolving door, lol, including a very nice single gentelman that kitten took a fancy too,
Paul....

[CandG]

maybe this is what you were talking about? this is quoted from HotWetWild it was on the "about single males" thread
"Some one up the thread said how do you know what couples are lifetsyle couples. My advice is to watch. Body language will give it away. Swingers don't have it tattooed on their foreheads but you can pick it up if you are observent. Those in the lifestyle know what we are talking about"

Yes, that was the posting. Isn't it interesting that we have a bunch of people in the lifestyle involved in this posting all of whom say they can't tell. Thank God! I thought we were the only ones! LOL

[CandG]

I would not like to be read, I would like to be asked. In my last trip I was very active in PDA with my husband everyday, yet no one asked except one, and he got to taste me. There were lot of gorgeous and sexylady and I could not respond forthright though I wished there will be more advancement, but no one asked direct. I am too shy to ask, so did not get what I wanted. Your points are right.

We're kind of like this too and with the same results. We're usually so worried about being "those pushy swingers" that we lay back more than perhaps we should. We need to get over this. We leave in 8 days so we'll have a chance to try out our new approach LOL (but still never pushy).

[Miss B Haven 2]

We are not swingers at home but like to get some play at the resort. It would be much simpler if it was more obvious who was a player and who was not. We have looked and watched people's action, movements and body languages, and we haven't been able to determine who's into swinging, without asking. Sometimes it's the people you least expect that are swingers. We probably missed out on some action because we were not open enough to approach the others. Some couples who are openly swapping with several people at once in the disco or in the hot tub are obviously swingers and you can tell without asking. Next trip we will have to try the more open approach

[SXMCOLover]

/A friend of mine said that in her community that if you see a home with a flag with a pineapple on it, they homeowners are in the lifestyle, any idea if the is true

[CandG]

/A friend of mine said that in her community that if you see a home with a flag with a pineapple on it, they homeowners are in the lifestyle, any idea if the is true

I understand that big S on Superman's chest actually stood for "Swinger". Apparently he and Lois were the life of the party!