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Which buffet has THAT menu?!

I thought you were supposed to pee on it?

Perhaps that's why I didn't pursue medicine as a career. Perhaps that's why I'm no good in such an emergency. Perhaps that's just an excuse for lack of...

Broad jumping, perhaps? I don't mean to sound sexist, but there is no such event as Lady Jumping.

...and the whole time I was thinking "Prude Deviant People." It all makes much more sense now. :p

We're fairly certain that isn't a Campbell's product.

The mental image of the packaging is worthy of a Photoshop contest, though.

Results may vary. Ask your doctor if Hedo-lite is right for you. Side effects include burning, itching, throbbing, arousal, turgidness, nervousness, amorousness, excitement and inebriation.

Swimmin' pools...movie stars...*

*...ridiculous property values; expensive gas and sundries; vehicle traffic that moves slower than pedestrian traffic; swarming tourists; movie premieres, awards...

...is that Hedo-like or Hedo-lite? Hedo-like makes sense, but Hedo-lite makes us giggle, as it sounds like a product we would buy in the economy size.

Try Hedo-Lite - Just like regular Hedo, but...

In years past, I spent literally hours in tanning beds. It was a perk--due to professional, er, trade-offs, I ended up with the key to a tanning salon. I could go bake at three in the morning and...

And then immediately after getting out of the pool, all the guys sing "It's a small world afterall..."?

...but on logging in, there was a banner advertisement for "Disney Vacation Club."

We'd say that was f'ing Goofy, but the mental imagery is disconcerting at best.

Thank you for your replies...it is already obvious that you are a great bunch of people!

I'm sure you'll be seeing a lot of us here...and substantially more of us there. :)

The story so far:

We've decided to take a break from the day-in-day-out, gratuitous glamor, ever-present sordidness, wild parties and wanton substance abuse that defines Hollywood. We live in the...