Hedo 3.. the final week

Hedonism III… The final week
Our twelfth and last trip
By Woofie


Well folks we were there. For the bitter end. We actually didn’t intend to be. When we first booked, we were told that the last week was almost sold out, so we chose to go the week prior to that figuring that they would be running out of everything and shutting everything down on the last week. I guess we were just destined to close it down after all.

But first let’s start at the beginning.

The travel portion:
As I said, this was our 12th visit. Eight of those were on Air Jamaica. We love Air Jamaica, but sadly they have been dropping flights (sound familiar?) and none of the good flights from our area exist anymore. So we have been experimenting with alternative carriers. We tried Spirit a few times (I wouldn’t fly with them again if you gave me a free ticket and held a gun to my head !)
This time we tried Air Tran. Both our arrival flight and our departing flight were delayed, (aggravating, but not necessarily their fault, I’ll certainly give them another chance).

Now. We have always been really, really lucky when it comes to the travel portion of coming to Hedo. Normally we get off the plane, breeze through immigration and customs in mere moments (usually without even having time to stop for a bathroom break) Almost every time we would walk into the Superclubs lounge only to be told “there’s a bus leaving right now, hurry up and you can still catch it!” etc etc…

This time was a bit different.

When we arrived at the Mobay airport we walked into the immigration area and were greeted by the sight of the most people we have ever seen in that room in our lives! It took us well over an hour to get through immigration. Then another half hour to get through the same mob of people at customs.
We got to the Superclubs lounge and got checked in, sat down, and proceeded to wait over an hour before being taken out to the bus.

Welcome home! LOL

Anyhoo, The bus ride was uneventful (naturally) there were about thirty people going to Breezes and six of us going to Hedo. Ironically all six of us were sitting in a cluster at the back of the bus. So at least we had fun people to chat with during the trip. Thankfully, the bus driver didn’t even attempt to stop for that pointless and insipid “refreshment stop” and we managed to get to the resort in just over an hour.


Checking in:
As usual, check-in was a breeze.

We wound up in the 800 building, which seemed fitting as on our very first visit to Hedo that was the building we stayed in.

The room itself was absolutely fine. Clean, everything worked, in fact…….
We keep reading trip reports where people complain about the water pressure being low, or the hot water not working. This has never happened to us during any of our trips. Ever. As a matter of fact, this trip the hot water was so good that we had to always turn the cold all the way up and then just barely nudge the hot on , and even then it was often too hot…


The daily grind:

Rather than give a day by day synopsis of everything we did (mostly because my alcohol befuddled memory simply isn’t that good) I’ll just sort of describe approximately how each of our days transpired. (There was very little variation from day to day)
We would generally get up at somewhere around 7:00 am, putz around the room waiting for the breakfast buffet to open. Go to breakfast, where I would go get my food, find a nice table in the sun, then eat my breakfast while Mrs. Woof waited in line for her omelet. Eventually, usually after I was done eating, she would come to the table, laden down with her fruits, eggs, and various sundry bread products and proceed to eat her breakfast while I watched. I guess I’m glad I’m not a big fan of eggs because I don’t have nearly that kind of patience so early in the morning. Nevertheless, she always assured me that it was well worth the wait!

The buffet was always good, nothing to write home about, but never a day when I wasn’t able to eat myself into a new shirt size.

We then would go back to the room and slather on the sunscreen .

Mrs. Woof: “Don’t you think you’ve got plenty of sunscreen on that by now?”

Me: “Hey! There’s no such thing as being too careful!”

Mrs. Woof: ‘Ok, but you know what you mother always said… You’ll go blind!”

Then it was off to the nude pool to settle into our chairs and commence reading and waiting for everyone else to come stumbling out into the daylight.

We’d spend the day, sunning, reading, drinking, and chatting with all of our new best friends. As evening progressed, Mrs. Woof would go up to the room for her daily nap. Usually preceded by some friskiness. We’ve learned that if she’s going to stay up and enjoy the late night frivolities, a nap is quite necessary. And Woe be the sorry sap who unwittingly interrupts that nap prematurely! I think the housekeeper once knocked on the door with some towels one afternoon… As far as I know they’ve never found the body.

While she napped every evening, I would wander the resort, playing pool, having a snack at the buffet, chatting with friends at the main bar, and generally avoiding the nekkid side. Mostly because I just feel weird being there without her by my side. Kinda like the guy who shows up at the pot-luck without bringing a hot dish…

At the appointed time every evening, I would return to the room, get her up, showered, dressed, etc. and ready for dinner.

She prefers Pastafari and I prefer Munasan, so we always alternate Munasan one night, Pastafari the next, etc.

The food at both restaurants was good. (Well, except for the lasagna in Pastafari. That may be the only time I’ve ever found something at Hedo that I could not eat. Perhaps if they had used Alpo, instead of Ol Roy, that might have helped…)

The service was always exemplary in Munasan. But we experienced two extremes in Pastafari. One night we had the waitress who spent the whole night acting like we were bothering her. She never once smiled, when she did speak, (which was rare) it was in monosyllabic grunts. And never once did she actually make eye contact with either of us. Two nights later we ate there and had pretty much the best waitress we have ever had in our lives!

After dinner, we would head up to the piano bar for a bit, then off to either the hot tub, or bed, depending on our mood. (We have never been fans of the disco)

John, the pianist has always been great fun, but alas this trip I think he had already “checked out” He played just fine, but his heart wasn’t in it, and the normal party atmosphere just wasn’t there. The general somber mood of the guests may have contributed to that. It must be tough to put on a happy face when you’re about to become unemployed for two months and everyone in the place is griping about how badly Superclubs is screwing their constituency.

Anyway, that’s the basic rundown of our day – to –day activities. Now for a few highlights, thoughts, and a “this is how it ended” synopsis.

The nude side was particularly quiet, with low numbers of people all week long. While there were at least two groups in the resort, “The Jamaica Booze Crew” and “The Chocolate Swirls” neither of those groups were very big to begin with and they both mostly stayed over in the quad. While all of the individual people that we met from both groups were quite friendly and fun, it seemed as though as a group they mostly kept to themselves and didn’t appear to be too interested in socializing outside of their own pack. But, to be fair, due to the fact that photography is permitted at the quad, we’ve never been any too keen on hanging out there, so we really didn’t give them much of a chance to warm up to us. If they had spent their days at the nude side it might have been a different story altogether.

The scheduled activities were completely non-existent. I think I actually saw one E.C. during the day once… just walking across the resort. I don’t even remember who it was. Aside from that they might as well have not existed. They did still do their goofy stage show in the evenings on the main stage, and a couple of times one or two of them would show up in the piano bar. They also manned the karaoke on the nights that John was off. But for the most part, they were vampires, only coming out at night. And then only briefly.

Most of the other employees however, were on the top of their game. The bartenders we had at the nude pool, and the bartenders I encountered on my forays to the main bar were nothing less than exemplary. I actually suspect that they were being “graded” by management in order to be able to cull through them and choose who was going to be invited back when the resort re-opens. We had the same experience with most of the wait-staff in the various restaurants. With that one notable exception everyone else seemed to be at the top of their game. Overall it really was the best all around service we have ever received at Hedo.

Brad and Kim, the Tantra instructors of “Tantric Hearts” were there that week, offering daily classes on various aspects of Tantra. Although we did not attend the classes during this trip, we have done so in the past and I can assure you, it is well worth it! They are a charming and engaging couple and the classes are both fun and educational. Plus, as an extra bonus, Brad and Kim also staged various non-resort sponsored activities throughout each day. (body painting, erotic photography lessons, etc) Which was nice, because without them there would have been absolutely no activities going on at all. They also managed to keep the party level in the piano bar up with their shenanigans each night. Brad has an endless supply of “naughty lyrics” songs.

The last day:

On Saturday, they moved all of the guests who had booked beyond Sunday over to Hedo 2 (Personally I would have been absolutely livid! You basically lose an entire day of your vacation to travel. I only hope those folks put their foot down and demanded some sort of compensation.) Those of us who were left banded together in two small groups. One in the quad and one on the nude side. I’m not sure about the quad group, but on the nude side it dwindled down to just a few couples, sitting at the swim-up bar, drinking, joking, and laughing it up with the bartender and the security guard. Someone started up with the “let’s do a shot”, which turned into several…. This eventually degenerated into one last round of body shots on the bar. (the last time EVER!) Then we all went our separate ways for the evening. (ok Mrs. Woof and I went to prepare for dinner, I can’t vouch for what did or did not happen at the nude bar after we left… )

Later, after Mrs. Woof went to bed for the night. I was restless and spent several hours wandering the grounds, stopping to chat with various friends that I had made along the way. I noticed that there were quite a few “extra” security guards all over the resort that night. I completely understand this. As the week wore on, people were obviously pilfering “mementos” to take home with them. Basically anything that said “Hedonism III” on it seemed to be fair game. I probably would have taken something too, but I couldn’t figure out how to fit Michelle, the Webmistress into my suitcase and sneak her through customs….

I wound up sitting at the main bar, drinking glass after glass of water, (we drank a lot of shots at the nude pool !!) chatting with a friend and the bartender, and just watching the party die it’s final death.


In conclusion:


Well……. I can’t believe that I am actually saying this but it’s true:

I now completely understand why Superclubs decided to do what they did (close the resort).


This was the very end of Hedo 3. If ever there was a time when people would move heaven and earth to get to their favorite resort one last time it’s these few weeks in August. When we were in contact with our travel agent, we were told that Hedo 3 was getting close to being sold out for the last couple weeks of August. The grim reality was that it was the lowest occupancy we have ever seen (even worse than the time we went in November 2001, just after the 9/11 incident). If there were 100 guests I’d be surprised

If they can’t even fill up the resort for this period, then what hope do they ever have of getting up to full occupancy? My understanding is that Superclubs owns the property at Hedo2, and only leases it at Hedo 3, so it really makes sense to close 3 instead of 2.

Sad, but true.

Anyway, that about sums it up. We’re really not sure where we are going to go for our nekkid fun vacations now… Perhaps Desire. Or there have recently been rumors of a new nekkid-friendly resort in Jamaica, I believe it’s called “N”…

I guess we’ll just have to go where the winds of change blow us….

Hey, thanks for the trip report, hope you find your new "home".

My favorite memory which I neglected to include in the report:
On Saturday night Mrs. Woof was getting ready for dinner and I was waiting for my turn in the bathroom, I decided to grab a drink, so I wrapped a towel around my waist and went down to the main bar. The band was playing on stage, people were eating dinner in the main dining room and a few couples were dancing... I recognized the song and suddenly decided to do something completely out of character. I walked up on stage, "Borrowed" the microphone from Omar and finished singing the song! I'm certain it was awful, But the audience didn't seem to mind, and I don't think I irritated the band too awful much...

Thanks for the update Woofie! You are right its a marketing strategy thats is paying off for SuperClubs. My new web page for the New Superfun Resort is one of the highest traffic pages on my site. Price Talks and Hedo II is getting more bookings. I hope it pays off on the business end for them. We just do need them to rebrand Hedo II.http://www.online-travel-agent-oppor...sm_resort.html

I will defiantly be trying to get a booking today.
It will be my first time to go on this trip